Why would a man confide huge secrets to me then disappear?

[Anonymous]

Recently met this guy a few months ago. Started going on a few dates a month ago. Then this week we went out and it was the best date yet. Had a fantastic time. On the long drive home he confided some deep secrets that he doesn't really talk about. Next morning he completely disappeared. If he wasn't interested why would he confide in me? He hasn't deleted me off social media either. Just no texts or calls. I know he's got some personal issues and suspect an ex is causing problems too. But why not just say I'm not interested? Or why confide? I'm pretty hurt because I really liked him.

[Streamhopper]

That's a bummer. And it's also pretty unusual. I wouldn't do that. There's gotta be something going on somewhere along the line. Have you tried to call him or text him? No response?

[Asker]

I did text the next morning. He replied in an unusual way so I asked if he was OK. He said he was stressed and over thinking. He has not initiated any further texting, although I know he's online... I can see his posts, so I at least know he's "OK". I know he had to meet his ex the next day to get property, which he was mad about. I know they aren't back together. I guess I'm confused. I wouldn't pour out my past to someone who I wasn't interested in. But he had also discussed staying at my house that night and changed his mind because he had to work early. I just wish he would say if he wasn't interested. Its hurtful. I know he'd text back eventually if I text him, but I feel like a nag. He used to always initiate it and I also noticed a change, a depressive change, when his ex started calling and creating problems. He gets in a very bad mood when she does that.

[Streamhopper]

You shouldn't have to chase him. He should be chasing you. It is odd that he told you those things, but maybe he just wanted to get it off his chest. It's likely the ex is the biggest factor in all of this. Whether there's feelings or not, it obviously bothers him. But you're getting wrapped up in their relationship. That's not going to end well. I know the pain, though, and I do sympathize. I just don't think you're going to get what you want from him because he doesn't know himself.

[LibraPisces66]

Some player types will do things like that to emotionally "hook" the girl, so it could be that. Also relevant is if you had sex with him?

[Asker]

Nope no sex. We didn't want to start off that way. Neither side pressured it. He's definitely not the player type. He's a good, respectable man from a loving family and has sisters... he has never disrespected any woman that I know of or any of our mutual friends know of. This is why I'm shocked he hasn't just told me what his problem is... whether its me or something else. Or maybe he was honest when he said he was stressed and over thinking and my mind is just working overtime because I miss him. I don't know.

[LibraPisces66]

Sounds then like he has some deep personal issues that conflicting with him being able to freely connect with you. I'm sure he wouldn't do it unless it was pretty big or all-consuming. Would the secrets have some bearing on this? Something was definitely on his mind to cause him to go there.

[Anonymous]

He needed to get things off his chest and he did. You served you part to me, he doesn't need you anymore

[Klaatu51]

he's interested but sth else might've happened this morning... so for how long he's disappeared?

[Asker]

It has been 4 days. We always text constantly and when we did our usual good morning texts, he was very blunt, I asked if he was OK... he said stressed and over thinking. Hasn't text me or called since. I know he's stressed about money and housing right now. I also know that day he had to meet his ex to get property back... she drug this on for a few months. He gets angry when she calls, says it puts him in a foul mood, she did a lot of things, which is why he left. He said he's sure he never wants to go back, due to the way she treated his kids. He said it makes him angry that he was doing great and as soon as she finds out about him moving on she calls to start stuff. Like over belongings, phones, etc. I know for fact he's not back with her... but I'm wondering if she really upset him. I don't want to be a nag, but I actually miss him a lot. But maybe he's not interested at all in me? But I'm puzzled by his secrets and then poof

[Klaatu51]

no seems he's interesed actually, yet he's stresed bout this X.
so maybe he needs 2 settle things 1st wid her