Why would he do this? Why do people lie so much? How can I ever trust anyone?

[Paulalove98]

He told me he's not ready for a relationship after all, after he got my hopes up and I got so vulnerable with him and opened up a lot. Things seemed to be going so well and today he was like "I'm sorry I've been thinking and I don't think I'm ready for a relationship and commitment type of thing" I instantly cried because I felt blindsided after this news. He told me I didn't do anything wrong and he thinks he's just not ready. I feel done with love if he's serious about what he said. People suck.

Updates

1 y

The whole”I’m not ready for a committed relationship “ and commitment was all a lie after all. I found out through Instagram he was actually playing with my heart and cheated on me. It hurt like hell even though we weren’t in a relationship long but still that is like the worst feeling but I’d rather be alone than with a cheater. At this point I just want a loyal guy who cares.. but these days it almost seems impossible to find.

[Ms_Facesitter]

I honestly would have been been surprised.. You should never see someone who isn't ready as a partner. I would have moved on. The moment he said that I would have just gone looking for someone else.
Now I got that out of the way... How can you trust someone? By having them EARN your trust. Don't give it away. He said he wasn't ready, so he shouldn't have gotten you to trust him that he'd change his mind. He's either ready or not. Have them Earn it and only give it to people who deserve it.
My friends most of them took months. One took weeks, because she was an open book and had nothing to hide.

[kylee2437]

I just went through this myself, BUT at least he isn’t keeping you strung along like the guy I was seeing was doing to me. It’s going to hurt, it’s going to sting but you should appreciate the fact that he was honest with his feelings and it gives you time to now find someone that is going to want to keep you around. This the guy some credit to being open to communicate his feelings out to you.

[Fromdusktilldawn]

The problem is not you.

Honestly I feel the guy, most men nowadays our age, also me, are kinda scared by commitment. Now with social media, feminism etc. lots of misfortunes from other's relationships get shared online, bad experiences get shared, inconvenient truth about gender double standards come out. And the result is: we men get more hesitant to get into a relationship, especially in our 20s where we are still young and pave the way for the rest of our life.

[Paulalove98]

But the issue is women have a biological clock especially those who wants children and I do, I don't have all the time in the world to be single so getting my time wasted is not something that can continuously happen.

[Paulalove98]

I do understand your point though... nowadays I don't know anymore what to think because too many people lie or lead someone on about what they want and string someone along like why not just have been honest in the beginning? :(

[Paulalove98]

Then later I probably will blamed I'm the problem if I'm old and single which I pray I'm not and hope not because I'm trying so hard to find the right person. I'm loyal, caring, honest, loving, funny, I don't think I'm doing anything wrong. It's the people I'm meeting and I can't help that either it's just keeps failing for me🥺

[Fromdusktilldawn]

Thats sad to hear. You seem like a cool person though. But look, my parents got me and my bro with 40. Dont stress yourself out. I think the 20s are too early for kids anyway

[loveslongnails]

Saw your update, and unfortunately, that was a possibility. Regrettably, it was true in your case.

[Fromdusktilldawn]

@loveslongnails there is no need to attack me right now, wtf

[loveslongnails]

Huh? I was talking to Paula?

[DynamicKicker]

Well, I'm sorry to hear that but definitely don't close yourself off to anyone and everyone as much as it sucks and hurts. Some guys are just fearful of commitment at times in their life. You're going to have to get punched in your gut a few times before you land big (metaphorically of course)

[LiamJHayden]

Why would he do this? To get or keep you as long as possible.

Why do people lie so much? To get what they want.

How can I ever trust anyone? Recognize that each person is a unique individual, and not all are like him. But definitely be aware that sometimes wolves dress up as sheep.

[loveslongnails]

I'm not defending him, but let me ask you this - how long were you dating, and are you sure it was him who got YOUR hopes up, or was it you wishing for a specific outcome? What did he say, or better yet, do, to give you the idea he wanted a lifelong and loving commitment? Did he give you any red flags, or some yellow ones, that you overlooked?

[Shamalien]

At least he has the self awareness to know this about himself and communicate it. The way my last relationship ended really fucked me up…she would be 110% more into me than anyone ever has been one day, then cold and distant the next, so bad…told me she loved me for the first time as she broke up with me. I don't know what to think

[UnknownSwede]

Take your time to heal and allow yourself to feel sad, but know that it's his loss and not your fault. A cheater would've cheated no matter who they are with.

[UniquelyBasic]

Depends if he was leading you on acting like you were dating but, in the end, decided he wasn't ready. Nothing wrong with not wanting to be in a relationship with someone.

[Still-alive]

I can give you some advice on how to possibly re-attract him if you like? dm me though.

im sorry this happened though.

[kylee2437]

Eh she should go find someone that appreciates her the first time around. Don’t find ways to re-attract an unsure guy, that’s room for disaster.

[Still-alive]

@kylee2437 well she can try one last thing here... and it includes walking away and meaning it

[kylee2437]

@Still-alive yep. Some cases you just have to introduce the block button also.

[Still-alive]

@kylee2437 yup she may have too.. we will see though

[PizzaPieMamaBear]

Sorry sweetheart 😢