Why does he hide me from his friends and family?

[Anonymous]

I've been with my boyfriend for six years and in that time I've met about 2 family members (outside of those who live with him) , a few of his friends (most by accident, bumping into them somewhere), gone out with his and his friends twice (compared to the 100s of times he's gone out with them) and not been invited by him to a single family party (despite his family members asking for me to come)

im not unattractive, I'm not annoying, I'm not rude. I don't get why he doesn't want me around his friends and family.

He can be a private person (he's a Scorpio) and that's fair enough. But after 6 years it would be nice to get to know his loved ones. I've brought it up to him so many times and he says it will change and it never does.

I invite him to all my family things and some of my friends stuff (which majority of the time he declines because he's busy)

What do you think it is?
What should I do?

[Michonne551]

I'm a Scorpio. Apart from parents, I wouldn't want to bring my boyfriend to meet the extended family because I'm a little bit ashamed of them-as much of a bad person that makes me sound! some have used drugs and have like all rotten teeth, some they are very country and will fart and be loud and all questioning etc towards him, and I do not in any way want him to think I'm like them, because I feel like I'm different and a bit more of a city type, who doesn't appreciate toilet humour at the dinner table etc. It very well could just be he doesn't see it being pleasant for you or him to be around them together, it could just be awkward and maybe he is even a bit embarrassed as well.

However, if it is very important to you, then talk to him! If he really loves you he will let you in on why he's not so keen about it, and maybe he'll do it for you. I know I would if my partner really wanted it haha... but I would be warning him first.

[Apriscila]

At least you know that it isn't the family who dislikes you, it's him not trying to involve you in social events in meeting and being friendly with his family and his friends. I think you should take the initiative and do something on your own and let him know you are being serious about being around those people more, since it is important that you be friendly with everyone. Also, this is a very healthy thing to do as it shows you care and can compromise but he needs to do the same for you. It can't be a one way street, both of you need to put the effort into this.

[MinjiC]

Either he finds his family and friends embarrassing, or doesn't want you to have a bad impression of them because your opinion matters OR the opposite. In that case, you should leave him and you don't mean enough to him to be introduced to his friends and family.

If I were you I would ask him directly about it, me being me would threaten to walk up there the same day but then again that's me. After a year I personally would expect to meet the guy's parents let alone SIX. That amount of time, we should be married or at least engaged depending on my age.

[Floppy]

You have been with him since you were very young. And he knows it. And he's not ready to settle down with you. And honestly sweetheart I don't want to put you down but citing his astrological sign is very immature. What you should do is break up with him and learn what other guys are like

[Asker]

I don't think citing anything to do with astrology is immature. I'm a very spiritual person and a very strong believer of astrology, if you don't agree with that then fair enough but you've got no right to call it immature.

Other than that, thanks for the advice.

[Floppy]

How is astrological signs a indication of a spiritual life? You are using is astrological sign as an excuse for him not opening up and being honest and forthright. I see that excuse is a mature

[Floppy]

I see that excuse as a sign of immaturity.

[Asker]

I never used it as an excuse. I just said that I understood he was a private person.

If I used him being a Scorpio as an excuse then I would be deluded and ignorant and I wouldn't be asking the question in the first place.

[Beckaboo2710]

You said you brought it up to him - did you ask him specifically why you haven't met them? If so what did he say?

[Asker]

With the parties and stuff He will just use excuses such as 'oh I forgot to tell you' or 'I didn't think you would want to come'

As for just being around his friends and family in general he doesn't really give me a reason. I'll ask him if he's em embarassed of me and he'll say no, then I'll ask him why and he always just says ' I dunno why, no specific reason, but I'll bring you around them more often in future' & it never happens.

[Beckaboo2710]

If I were you I'd be really firm, and say next time something is happening I'm coming. If you've been together 6 years you're a huge part of his life so he should want all the parts of his life to be able to fit together well if he's planning on being with you long-term.

With friends there is a chance that you might genuinely not like them, so maybe he's trying to avoid you/them feeling uncomfortable?

So I'd try to get to see his family more first, as I'm sure they'd like to have more to do with you. Could always be that he's embarrassed of them though, or what they might say to you about him? Ask him if that's what it is and say you don't care you've been with him long enough to not be bothered by that stuff.

[Asker]

Thankyou so much (:

[miabethx]

both me and my boyfriend are scorpios he tries to invite me to all his family stuff and most of his friends are now also my friends... his mom even invites me to family events if he forgets. we've only been dating about 6months. I don't see why he would keep you away from them. be open and ask him!

[CastleMaiden]

Thats soo weird, it would be fine if i was like some months, but 6 years.. :O
I don't really know what to say about that, obviously we can't read his mind and know what he is thinking...
But one thing is sure- you two just need to sit down and talk about that...

[Anonymous]

My ex said he was keeping me a secret because he thought I hated his friends. That was untrue, and he assumed way too much. That wasn't even a year though. Honestly, after 6 years, you should've met all his friends and a majority of his family by now. I would definitely question him about it, and make sure it changes. You deserve to at least meet those people.

[far2gud4u]

this sounds like a worrying thing... u need to speak with him about it but it isn't a good sign as you already know :(

[RoyalBlueOceans]

Wow that is strange. Maybe he does not have a great relationship with his family so he wants to keep you away from that because you are something great in his life. ... but you aid he goes out all the time so that might not work

[FlutteringFeelings]

He doesn't want to make it official nor want people close to him knowing that you guys might have something going on. Thats a huge red flag right there if he's not showing you off and not just to anyone but those who are close to him.

[FallOutBoy2001]

What does being a Scorpio have to do with being a private person?

[Asker]

I know a lot of scorpios and I know a lot about them and I know that they can be quite private and sometimes secretive.

[FallOutBoy2001]

Birthdate has nothing to do with personality, I can assert that

[rachel1112]

he probably doesn't want his family to expect too much in your relationship or he was afraid that they are gonna judge you. Or maybe he was embarrassed about them. I don't know, just ask him.

[Anonymous]

My ex did this to me and I kept it In and it ended in a huge blowout. I would talk with him about it calmly and fully express your feelings.

[Londonvegas]

He doesn't want to get close or personal those situations are to intimate to him. And he doesn't see it that serious and he his hiding something