Do you think a boyfriend should be obligated to pay child support for his girlfriend's baby whose not his?

[Demosiac]

If the answer is mostly yes, i think we can agree men are being oppressed.

Yes, of course it's his girlfriend. He should help and support her!

No, this is slavery all over again and just f*cking dumb.

I came to dance dance dance dance, i hit the floor cause that's my plan plan plan plan i'm wearing all my favourite brands brands brands brands

[yoshi_wanna_ask]

It depends on the situation:

Yes if he's;
Living with/engaged to her - then that's just household costs not child support
If there's reasonable doubt that the kid is his. But it's probably better to find out for sure.

No if:
The kid really isn't his
You're not living with each other/engaged
The boy/girlfriend didn't adopt this child together

I those are really the only logical reasons to pay child support. Any parent should always be responsible for their own kid whether they wanted them or not but child support should be for parents only (natural or adoptive). But if you're part of a household, there are overall costs that need to be covered and putting money towards those costs is different from child support. Buut if you're not living together and you're not married then of course not. You're not part of the household.

[Anonymous]

The only time I think he becomes obligated is when he agrees to, and pays for several years, because then he has entered into a good faith contract.

But now that we have paternity tests, I think that men should just make a habit of quietly having it done right after their babies are born if they have even the slightest reason to doubt their paternity. I don't think men get trapped all that often, but it just doesn't hurt anything to send in some cells and know for sure.

I know a lot of women would be hurt by that. But I think something like knowingly or accidentally making the wrong guy pay child support is a big deal. So, like I said, be stealth about it.

[samhradh_leannan]

I think it should be routine. As it is now, a guy who chooses to Gerst a paternity test is directly questioning his partner’s loyalty and making a statement that he doesn’t trust her. I have to admit, it would hurt a lot to me if my partner specifically sought a paternity test, because I would know then that he had doubts about my loyalty. But I think it makes sense for paternity to be confirmed, so I have mixed feelings. I think making it routine would solve that.

[samhradh_leannan]

get a paternity test* not Gerst lol

[samhradh_leannan]

I mean, I wouldn’t call it slavery, unless he is literally being forced to do it against his will. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think is what’s happening here. But if guys are being pressured to do so, or made to feel obligated or expected to do so, then that is absolutely wrong and incredibly unfair to the boyfriend. That is not his responsibility. Any girlfriend who puts that pressure on her boyfriend is using and abusing him. There are times when couples choose willingly to help support each other, and that is okay. But it should never be an obligation.

[0112358]

IM not sure what exactly he’s referring to.

What I believe is true is that if he helps out for a few years he might be on the hook legally long term even if they break up.

[samhradh_leannan]

@0112358 That’s definitely something to be wary of.

[Anonymous]

The real father should support the child, not the boyfriend. Just because a guy dates a girl, it should not mean he is responsible for the child, financially, or any other way!

[Opinion Owner]

Thank you for MHO!

[DonkeyRick69]

No. Not unless he has adopted the child as the childs father is a deadbeat or dead and has been its father for many years and has full visitation rights or some custody rights.
It's tough for men these days, I know feminists are pushing for alimony from boyfriend's if a woman has lived with a guy for a year or two.

[NaultD]

If you both live togather the kid is apart of the deal.

[LunaJ]

i'm a girl who fits in the case you're asking about.

my boyfriend why should pay?
i have my ex who helps with $ n cares about his little girl & visits when can.
if my boyfriend becomes my husband then we're going to be family so ofc everything gonna be shared.

about the poll, you didn't give a normal answer to choose from. simple cos the fact that it wouldn't be slavery, you might call it "using out"

[Demosiac]

I'm saying if the girlfriend's baby was not his, which means she cheated or sort of. In which i disagree to the fullest to give child support to children whose not his.

[LunaJ]

well, if he stays with the woman, then he supports both as they're one (woman n kid)

but the question ❓ is, why would he stay with her when she cheated?

if, she were raped, that's a totally different situation. i know someone who got raped n kept the baby (i have no clue why she decided that way tho)

[samhradh_leannan]

How are we automatically talking about cheating? That was never specified. What about a child from a previous partner? Cheating is not required in order to be in this situation.

[Demosiac]

Same thing, if the children is not his he should not pay child support. If being close to a kid force me to pay child support then noooo thank you,

[samhradh_leannan]

I don’t see how cheating and not cheating are the same thing. I’d say they are wildly different things. But I agree, simply dating a person with a child most certainly does not obligate you to help pay for that child. The only time when you are obligated to pay child support for a child that is not biologically yours is if you have adopted it, or willingly made a serious commitment to help support it (if you are living and acting as a family).

[LunaJ]

girl you have a hard name xD @samhradh_leannan. i agree with you, as you can see i answered at this question from the "kid from previous partner" view.

@Demosiac - looks like your thoughts are totally unclear about this topic.
▪ child support is paid by the biological dad (or mom), the amount is usually decided via a court process.
▪ being in a relationship with someone who has a kid, doesn't makes the non-parent be responsible for the child's well being.
▪ when that relationship changes to living together, then both partner becomes responsible for the child.

[samhradh_leannan]

I think there could also be some situations where a couple lives together but decides that it does not make sense for their situation to support the other’s children. But it definitely would be more complicated to make that work, especially if you are playing a role in raising them. Ultimately, there are a lot of different ways that this can go. What matters most is that the couple chooses to do what is fairest and most reasonable for everyone involved. If my partner had a child I probably would not help support it until marriage, but I also wouldn’t live with them until marriage in that case, because the child would complicate things.

[LunaJ]

⬆ i agree with it

[88flowers]

I agree with the girl that said the poll options are too dumb to vote. No, men shouldn't have to be cuckolded - but as long as you put a reference to "muh slavery" in the no option - I can't vote for it.

[snowangle]

I think no, but your poll options are so dumb that I can't bring myself to vote.

[CoffeePossum]

If it's not his child he shouldn't pay, let the real guy who impregnated her pay.

[kikikat95]

Lol "men r being oppressed" said no intelligent person ever

[demonics]

Hows the view from up there?

[kikikat95]

Sucks

[demonics]

With narcissism like that I thought for sure your life was splendid.

[kikikat95]

Nah knowing things about the world just makes it so much worse
Living in it

[pinkzoesbb]

If the boyfriend signed the birth certificate he will have to pay. It’s not right at all. I don’t believe in child support. Lazy moms wanting to take the easy way out.

[samhradh_leannan]

I mean, if he’s actually the dad, he’s just as responsible for the child as the mom is...

[pinkzoesbb]

Oh you’re for child support? It’s your opinion. Mine is different. I still don’t believe in it. I have kids. If I wasn’t married I would support my children on own. I’m a big girl.

[samhradh_leannan]

So you think that only mothers are responsible for their children? Fathers are not?

[pinkzoesbb]

I think if a father wants to be a part of the child’s life it should be up to him. I don’t think he should be forced. When the child is an adult it will be up to the father to explain why he wasn’t there if he’s chosen not to be. I also believe sleeping around is not healthy. If you’re going to have sex with someone you need to be aware of the consequences. You’re not going to change my mind.

[samhradh_leannan]

Yes, you need to be aware of the consequences... even if you are a man.

I think men should have a window of opportunity where they can waive their parental rights and opt out of child support, in cases where they would have wanted the woman to have an abortion. That is to give men the same freedom and options that abortion provides for women. But that window has to be early on in the pregnancy while the woman still has options for how to address the pregnancy. Once a man has committed to being a father, that’s it. He has the same responsibility to care for his children that a mother has. Nobody gets to just abandon their kids, regardless of their gender.

[pinkzoesbb]

Alright

[Lultoki]

Only exception would be couple with unfertile husband that use artificial insemination...

[princess_jenna]

It depends if he's on the birth certificate cause if so, he has an obligation to the child

[Chanel1981]

You're saying this boyfriend isn't the childs father?

[alice55]

He shouldn't pay child support but if it's his girlfriend I think it would be nice if he buy some stuff for the baby.

[LeeKenz]

I don't think it's slavery but if it's not his, until they get married he shouldn't have to pay child support

[ImATragedyNow]

I don't think it's slabery but I think if it's not his kid then he doesn't have to pay anything

[ImATragedyNow]

Slavery*

[demonics]

Pay or go to jail. Whilst in jail the payments are still racking up. = Slavery. That's how the system works currently.

[ImATragedyNow]

What do you mean pay or go to jail?

[samhradh_leannan]

@demonics Being required to take responsibility for your own child is not slavery, any more than it is slavery to be required to adhere to any other laws and reasonable societal expectations. What would you do, NOT require fathers to contribute to the care of their children? I wouldn’t mind if there was a little more flexibility (such as the option to petition for lower payments if you can prove that you’re working full time but simply can’t afford the current amount). I will agree that the system we have right now is dysfunctional. But that doesn’t mean child support should be completely abolished. That would not be in the best interest of the child.

[demonics]

@samhradh_leannan Gonna just assume you have no experience in family law.

[samhradh_leannan]

@demonics And your extensive experience with family law has convinced you that people should be allowed to not care for their children?

[demonics]

@samhradh_leannan *deep breath*
Oversimplification- to simplify to the point of error, distortion, or misrepresentation.

1. Men have no autonomy over their sperm once it leaves their body and there is no punishment for forging its release from a sperm bank, or stealing what he thought was thrown into the trash. Fouling said sperm (that she injects into herself) with say capsaicin, is a crime.
2. Men have no rights over their children.
3. Men have no rights over the money that's taken from them and given to the mother.
4. Men have no right to a paternity test.
5. Men have no legal recourse in regards to wanted/unwanted pregnancies. i. e. she can do whatever she wants with the baby.
6. There is no punishment for paternity fraud.
7. In instances of admitted paternity fraud, the man may STILL be ordered to pay child support to the state instead of the mother.
8. You falsely assume child support has anything to do with the child.

'Equal rights' is what you meant to say.

[samhradh_leannan]

@demonics Of course child support has to do with the child. Its very purpose is to provide for the needs of the child. I agree that the current system is dysfunctional, and I’d be happy to see certain improvements (already said that). However, the concept of requiring parents to provide for their biological children certainly does not qualify as slavery. I think there should be repercussions for things like paternity fraud or intentionally getting pregnant without the father’s consent (though how to prove that is another matter). But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t require men to help support their children.

[Anonymous]

He's not obligated to pay, for one it's not his and child support isn't an option. He can choose to support his girlfriend and her baby.

[Insanyx12]

Yea its his kid he shiuld support it any way he can

[Insanyx12]

Should *

[Demosiac]

Whose not his, meaning the girlfriend cheated or some sort

[Insanyx12]

Then no

[CT_CD]

No, this is slavery all over again and just f*cking dumb.

[Tania_bilkis]

He should help her, but he's not obliged to do so

[TheSpartan]

I'm waiting until marriage, so why would I?

[MyAtlantis]

Of course not.