Guys, if you had no feelings for a girl and only wanted sex, would you open up to her about your messed up family, and your past?

[Anonymous]

We met 5 months ago have a sort of complicated past where we were official for a couple days after an intense, way too fast, skip every step thing over summer after we met and wanted each other at first sight. Split, started sex again for 3 out of 4 weekends a month later, he said he did have feelings then but doesn't want a relationship with anyone since he's moving in a year (so am I), then on the 4th week said he had slept with one girl once during that month and he had no feelings for me (again for the moving reason). I ended it and had a rebound ONS, then the next week we spent a ton of quality time together, did end up having sex a few nights and we have an amazing connection. Honestly we seem made for each other (our friend who help set us up after meeting felt the same way all those months ago) and people who saw us were convinced we were in a relationship, "in love", "so cute", and didn't believe me when I said he wasn't my boyfriend, though I don't remember being showing much pda. Things felt different over that week. He told me a lot of personal things, talked about his past, his friends, heavy topics, etc. The sex changed too, he's quite rough normally, but the consecutive nights we spent together this past week we had incredible sex. Ex. he likes choking, and every time he started to he would instead wrap his arm around my head and kiss me me passionately.

I don't see why he'd open up so much if he doesn't have feelings anymore? Even before sex, I was in very sexy VS bra/underwear and he just kept talking about all these personal or random things where normally, he'd hop in bed, I'd turn off the lights, and we'd get started. then the next morning he waited for me to wake up, we hung out for a bit then he deeply kiss me and pulled me into him to continue it when I start to pull away.

It's so odd/confusing to me. I've never had a guy do that before sex.

[fardeen0507]

To be honest I didn't read the whole thing but many guys can go to any length just for sexual interactions even if they don't have actual feelings for the girl.
Forcing a girl wouldn't work so they slowly work their way to create empathy and work up the girl's mind just to get what they want. I know thats really messed up but I've seen it ( and once almost done it and then realized how fucked up that is). You could try to make your relationship less sexual and then see how he behaves towards you and other women. Hope this helps.

[Asker]

Haha thanks for your honesty! Yeah I've thought of that but we have already had sex, including feelings and bootycalls just for sex and after a long time of back and forth saying one thing/acting another, he finally said no feelings on his part, then a week later we hook up again. This round of multiple nights of sex a week - the sex was already gonna happen. Just to reference - at the end I mentioned after a night of being out together chatting, drinking, hanging, we were home, I was laying in bed, sexy bra/underwear on, and rather than jumping to it he continued on talking about stuff for awhile lol

[fardeen0507]

Well now it's your choice to make☺

[Asker]

Haha I wish! It was only a week ago he claimed no feelings and I said I was done to now. I have a feeling he will still say he doesn't want a relationship with anyone due to moving, despite him opening up so much and him seeming different/more connected with me now. I can't find it in myself to bring it up again after all the shit that's happened. Which means, I'll probably find out he's in couple weeks he's slept with another person. Again. Which is gonna fucking suck. Though he doesn't know I did too now. Thanks for answering!

[heavygear40k]

I'm a rather open book type person. For a lot of things. But some secrets Stay with me to the grave. So yes. But it also depends on the person. If I'm in just a using mood I'll skip all the chit chat. I'm also honest about not being in it fur any other reason that sex. So there are no wonderings.

[Asker]

I'd say he's fairly open book as well. He did finally say no feelings after a complicated thing we went through but now a week later, he's telling me all about his family and personal stuff more so than back when we both had feelings. It's just weird since we have had bootycalls that were just sex. It went he wanted more/I wanted sex to we both wanted more, to us splitting and me wanting more/him being cold and confusing but saying he cared, to him saying no feelings and week later this. Suddenly things feel different between us like we are more than sex.

[chaoticwings]

Ask him then.

[chaoticwings]

Some guys will use that as a tactic to get more out of a girl or get a girl by making them feel bad for the guy.

[Asker]

That's kinda why I'm confused. We were already going to have sex ( like we have numerous times for multiple months) and like as I mentioned at one point in bed, ready to go and he just kept talking for awhile. The things he said, weren't pity-oriented. We are past that. It was just very open and personal. Seeing as sex was a given, I don't get the motivation. For other guys I don't have feelings for and its just sex, I really don't wanna know about their personal stuff and I find it awkward if they mention anything remotely emotionally deep. This one, I do have feelings for and want to be there for him but I am trying to separate my emotions given him claiming no feelings now, but he's never been so open before.

[thegr8lion]

Yes...

[Asker]

Care to elaborate?

[thegr8lion]

Talking to opposite sex is always easing