Long distance friendship or does he like me?

[Anonymous]

OK so I am a freshman in college but this past summer after graduating from high school I went to beach week and me and this guy made out and spent the night together...just sleeping though. After that we kind of would talk but it was hard because I went out of town for like 3 weeks after that. Shortly after coming home from vacation I packed up and left for school. Prior to leaving, his friend basically told me that he didn't like me in that way and so I didn't think much about it. However, the night before I left he was all over my facebook wall telling me stuff like he really hoped I had fun at school and not to be nervous and whatever. He never has emotions about anything so it was a little different for him but I still didn't think much of it. I've been down here for a little over two weeks and he's always commenting on my stuff, stuff that's on my wall, or things I put on mutual friends walls. Also, we were facebook chatting one night and he had to go and he was like "text me if you want?"...So the next day I texted him and we texted all day and then again all day the next day pretty much. I realize all this stuff probably just makes it seem like an easy answer of he likes me but he's kind of a notorious flirt and if his friend told me before he didn't like me like that then I am trying to keep that in mind. So we were talking the morning after I went to this party and I mentioned that one of the guys walked me back home and he basically asked me if I did anything with the guy and I was like no, he was just trying to make sure I got home safe. Then he was kind of making fun of me saying that this guy was a nice guy and I was like well I don't know very many nice guys..and he was like "I'm a nice guy..." and we went on to talk about that and then we spent today texting again, he started it by asking me how my day was going...how my classes were and stuff like that...I am so confused, I don't know if he's just flirting with me for fun or if he likes me now but why would he invest so much time in some girl who was so far away from him if he didn't like me...we are like 3 states away right now...what should I do?

Updates

+1 y

Markml:

. As far as testing him when I told him about the guy who walked me home from the party he did keep asking me about him; like what we did, if I was going to call him...I did ask him how all of his girls were and he changed the topic..

Updates

+1 y

ok so recently the guy I like said he was PRO (his name) when I asked about if he was pro this other guy from the party. Also, he is always there for me when I need to talk to him about things and he was like "i'm always there for you"...

[markml]

Hmm...how credible do you think the friend is? Would he have any motive to lie, or is it possible that he just said that without knowing for sure?

This is indeed an ambiguous situation, and because of the distance between you two, it may be best to just leave it ambiguous.

Is he talking to you all the time nearly everyday? What percentage of his time would you estimate he spends on you? The reason I ask is because I'm a rather chatty person, so just because I'm talking a lot to someone doesn't mean I see them as more than a friend.

On the other hand, there's a certain threshold where if I'm spending that much time, the person is either a very close friend or I like them. Of course, there are other signs of whether a guy likes someone...and combining what you said about the time you spent together on the beach and him being so friendly to you afterward, it really leads me to think that he MIGHT like you.

But in either case, it doesn't seem practical to start a relationship with this guy right now, so it may be best to just stay friends, and not contemplate it any further unless the opportunity for you to be closer together arises.

If I were you, I'd keep things going the way they are right now, but keep yourself open to meeting other guys. Even if his friend was wrong, he hasn't made any move or given you a clear signal that he wants to be more than friends. And he's had lot of opportunities, so he has no reason to expect you to consider him more than a friend.

But if you really want to test him, then you should tease him a bit and ask if he's met any other girls recently that he really likes. If that doesn't get him off the fence, nothing will...and so you could just assume that he only wants to be friends right now.

[Asker]

I've thought about the friend thing...I'm not really sure, I know that his friend didn't like that kissed at the beach because he doesn't think the guy knows how to treat girls so maybe he was but I have no way of knowing for sure whether he was lying or not.

Well, I'm not really sure but it usually happens that one of of us texts the other in the morning and we'll text for a few hours and then like two hours after it ends he'll text me again starting up a new conversation and then we'll text

[markml]

My advice...try not to get too emotionally attached, but stay friendly.

The friend is probably right that he doesn't know how to treat women, but maybe also a little jealous that he gets all this attention.

I find it hard to believe that this guy flat-out doesn't like you as more than a friend, but he also probably doesn't really know what he wants. The distance isn't encouraging him to decide he wants you, but it could still happen at some point. Right now, he's just a nice guy.