How to reject a girl without hurting her feelings?

[alexei1000]

Updates

+1 y

i told her im not interested
and she is crying very much
she wants a future with me
what to do?

[JustAsking_1991]

Tell her this, " (Her Name), I wish I could tell you what you want to hear, cause I do believe you deserve a guy who will want to be everything you desire, someone who wants to build a future, someone who sees the stars in your eyes. You deserve genuine and deep love from a guy. But it's not me, I do not see you as anything but a friend who i enjoy having around. If you need space from me, take it, because I want you to be happy in the future. I never meant to hurt you, but I cannot fool you into thinking of maybes either. I am so sorry."

Do not say it's not the right time, do not say she is not the person you want or do not mention anything in concerns to whats your type. Just be honest, kind and sincere.

But honestly if it's someone you barely know, you do not owe anything to that person. Just tell them, you are not into them.

[Naruto_Uzumaki]

Telling someone you're sorry just makes it seem like a fake apology

[JustAsking_1991]

@Naruto_Uzumaki whether it's sounds fake or not. If it's said with the sincere feeling of being sorry cause obviously no one wants to hurt someone who loves or cares or want them genuinely, it should be said

[Naruto_Uzumaki]

I was in the same situation as the girl so I know what I'm talking about it's easier to hate someone than be friends with the person you love. If he acts all nice she might think he wants to be friends

[JustAsking_1991]

@Naruto_Uzumaki I am 26 and was in love with my best friend for years, so his apology i couldn't understand how genuine it was until now. But I am glad he did, cause it helped me forgive and move on. But if it's some person i know only a couple of months or only few weeks, i do not hold expectations nor do i need the i am sorry. But when it's someone you have a friendship with that's when yea the sorry is needed, cause sometimes it ends a friendship. Cause you love them and they will never be in love with you.

[Naruto_Uzumaki]

I don't even remember what this all is about and you're not the only person I talk to on here my comment was 3 days ago...

[JustAsking_1991]

@Naruto_Uzumaki LOL!!! smh lol

[Naruto_Uzumaki]

Well you're the one that replied to my comment 3 days later not me

[JustAsking_1991]

@Naruto_Uzumaki Go to sleep lol

[infinitize]

Like everyone else have said, rejection is a rejection.
Just be polite and respectful in your tone, gesture, gaze, expression, etc. Then when she gets over it (she eventually will - even if it involves you being the centre of gossip for abit), she'll appreciate that being the person on your side was just as hard.
Plus, if she's your friend's sister, you don't want things ending in a bad note. (its even worse if you try to work it out because "you feel bad," start dating her when you don't have the right feelings for her)

[Naruto_Uzumaki]

Just tell her in a respectful way and don't tell her you can stay friends because that would be even more painful it's easier to hate someone that being friends with someone you love. Be honest but don't make her feel like she's not good enough, I know it's hard to balance it but try your best

[alexei1000]

ok but why do you agree that a girl should slap a guy?

[Naruto_Uzumaki]

It was a rhetorical question and was supposed to be funny because asking a girl if she's on her period is just disrespectful. It was meant to be funny because it's predictable that a girl wouldn't be happy about such a question

[Naruto_Uzumaki]

I don't agree that anyone should slap their partner the question before was supposed to be a joke you can only understand that if you have common sense

[Naruto_Uzumaki]

I know it's painful but staying friends with someone you love is even worse than losing them, because then you see how they fall in love with a different person. Tell someone else to calm her down because if you calm her down it'll only make it worse. Keep distance and let someone else handle the situation. At least get someone to help her that's the least you can do !

[leobaby]

Honestly if she's really into you, it's going to hurt her feelings. But the best way for both you and the girl is to be straightforward and honest, when breaking the news reassure her that she hasn't done anything wrong but you guys simply won't work out.

[alexei1000]

She cried for me once and she is a friend of my sister

[leobaby]

This sounds brutal but if you honestly don't like her and know its not going to work out, tell her that and explain exactly why it wouldn't work out. Get your sister to reason with you and she'll definitely help the girl with getting over you. Remember that it'll take time and patience from your part before she comes to realization she can move on and be ok.

[red324]

Girls always just ghost me.

[red324]

I always wonder what I did wrong then if anything.

[leobaby]

@red324 When would they ghost you? Like right after you met them or later on?

[red324]

Later on.

[red324]

The irritating part is after a date instead of ghosting me right after usually they keep talking for a week or two and I never seem to be able to get a second date. So then I feel like they just lead me on.

[leobaby]

@red324 Maybe they take the time after the first date to figure if its going to work out or not, but even still its not right for anybody to ghost someone.

[red324]

It just shows what kind of person they are. I'd rather her be honest that way I can decide if it's her or if their is something I need to change for the next girl I meet. When they ghost me it always leaves me wondering why.

[leobaby]

@red324 Don't change the way you are for girls because it shows, this sounds so cheesy but be yourself! Confidence is always key, and if you are talking to girls in college or just finished college there are still under the impression that this is okay to do.

[red324]

Oh I know. Like for example people always tell me I should work out, honestly I think I should be able to find a girl who likes a skinny guy and not have to turn into some gym rat just to make someone like me.

[r4ngeF]

@red324 true.

[menina]

Just tell her that she's an amazing girl, that there's nothing wrong with her and that you respect and like her. But you're not interested in being in a relationship with her.

[Unit1]

Just like a man would say 😎

[xx_ueh_xx]

Honestly this is the best way to put it. It is going to hurt her feelings anyway but by saying it that way it will be easier for her to realize that it is not because of her

[Unit1]

@xx_ueh_xx Kind of. It is just being honest, straight to the point and more or less letting her down rather gently. Like ripping off a plaster from a wound quickly.

[menina]

@Unit1 Haha
Well, I wasn't thinking about it, since I'm not man Lol

[menina]

@xx_ueh_xx "It is going to hurt her feelings anyway but by saying it that way it will be easier for her to realize that it is not because of her" - Exactly, that is my point.

[Naruto_Uzumaki]

Everyone will be at some point blaming themselves when they're trying to get over someone, there's no way to pass the point. But in the end she'll be glad

[menina]

@Naruto_Uzumaki That's also true.

[jamesmark1903]

Almost all girls probably won’t care. Boys on average get rejected quite a long. Girls don’t.

Look man. Girls are not into me. Those 80+ girls had the opportunity to reject me. I never had any opportunity to reject any girl in my life. My efforts aren’t reciprocated by girls. So, I’m kinda used to their rejections all the way.

If I will ever get an opportunity, I’ll let the girl know that I always thought of our relationship to be that of a sibling. What I mean is that tell a girl that you see her like your sister. With this kind of rejection, not only you’re softening your rejection, but the girl should feel confused as hell.

I’m not sure if that kind of rejection would work. It’s creative and simple to confuse a girl and make her rethink about the relationship between you and her.

[madhatters4]

i think that it's hard to avoid hurting someone who is emotionally invested in a relationship. you can be delicate and caring but the reality is being rejected will more than likely hurt. so it's best to be honest but sensitive; straight forward but considerate

[madhatters4]

thanks for MHO

[potatoisme]

If you don't hurt her feelings she will assume u secretly like her and you're playing hard to get. Just be direct

[CharlieUnicorn]

Have to go with what the girls are saying there mate. A short, clear but polite rejection is the way to go.
It'll hurt regardless.

Also have to warn, if you swoop in and try too much to cushion the blow and take care of her feelings for her it will either make her believe there's a shot after all, or be even more miserable because "She'll never meet a guy who gets her like you do!!"
(That only makes it worse)

[SirSkylar]

Say that you already have a girlfriend. Well, women play it down like that. So can me. LOL. But practically you may say so.

[matheus_mb]

Tell her the truth. Tell her that you aren't interested and that you should do it because you don't wanna give her false hopes and lead her on.

[Unit1]

Great answer

[acooke-13]

You need to be direct and honest with her, do it as nice as possible but make sure you are clear and she understands. If it hurts her feelings that's tough, better now then later

[Anonymous]

Depending on how sensitive the girl is it might hurt however you do it, all you can do is show enough respect to do it in the least hurtful way, and that means just being honest, by pretending or ghosting you just drag out her pain and denial, if you're compassionate and straight forward she'll respect that and deal with it and move on quicker. Good luck.

[zzzondarrr]

Just show her that you still really care about her, just that she is not really the one for you... She should understand that. And give her a chance to show how much she maybe loves you, maybe you got a wrong impression about her...
Just keep in contact with her like you were before, and if she can't bear it, let her be.

[Blonde401]

Either way she's going to have her feelings hurt. Just be honest with her and don't lead her on.

[FluffyBee]

Excatly this 🙏

[Blonde401]

@FluffyBee ❤️ Thanks'

[Blonde401]

***!

[lumos]

I don’t think you can. Everyone who gets rejected also feels hurt in some way. All you can do is try to be honest and gentle. Keep it simple and short.

[lurker712]

Tell her the truth and know no matter what you say, it will hurt her if she really likes you. After that though, make sure not to send any mixed signals, or be overly friendly as she will be looking for hope.

[alexei1000]

She cried once about me that's wig I'm asking

[alexei1000]

Why?*

[lurker712]

She will cry more probably. That's the problem with catching feelings for someone that doesn't catch them back.

[NessyTheMonster]

Just me honest and straight forward, don't run away from the talk and make excuses

[JustAnotherGirlie]

It’s almost 2018 and y’all still afraid to hurt feelings? Nah son. Tell her what it is and leave it alone, nobody has time to be apologetic over stuff you can’t help.

[hasrett]

Just tell her you don't like and that's it. She'll be hurt for some time, but she'll get over it.

[hasrett]

You don't have to do anything. It's not your obligation to like her.

[Idontknow092]

You can't reject anyone without hurting them in some way.
The best thing to do in this situation is to be as clear as possible without stringing them around.

[Idontknow092]

@update
This reaction is common.
I assume that you have thought this through and are absolutely sure that you can't reciprocate her feelings. But if you do feel something for her and think you might be able to reciprocate then give it a shot.

[bente2]

With rejection come hurt feelings. That’s just the truth. I’d sit her down and gently tell her you’re not interested.

[Naruto_Uzumaki]

Gently rejecting someone makes people feel like they're not being taken serious

[bente2]

@Naruto_Uzumaki what😂. Maybe we have different understandings of a gentle rejection.

I mean sitting her down and telling her what’s on your mind, without being a dick about it.

[Naruto_Uzumaki]

I was in a situation like this and gently rejecting someone hurts even more

[Naruto_Uzumaki]

It feels like they're just joking and not taking you serious

[AzureGirl]

Unfortunately there’s no way to do it without some feelings being hurt. The best thing you can do is be honest about your feelings.

[nevermoregirl7]

I think feelings get hurt either way. But just be short and sweet about it.

[r4ngeF]

Impossible, unless you buy hey a nice car with gas for a whole year.
I would never get offended if i were to be a lady.

[-Beonkia]

I don't think there is a way to let her down gently because she would still be hurt to some degree

[Demi81]

I rather be up front then me wasting my time and energy.