My boyfriend turned me down when I wore lingerie.. Should I be insecure?

[Anonymous]

So I wanted to spice things up a little for my sex life. I went out the other fast and bought a sexy lacy teddy and a black silky robe to wear over it. I came to my boyfriends house yesterday to surprise him with it, and he got annoyed and said "aren't we going to hang out and watch tv? I don't want to rush into that right now!!" . to be fair, we were waiting on the weed guy to drop off some pot and we were also about to eat.. so i guess I'm being insecure for nothing but i put a lot of effort into my hair and makeup and i spent good money on the lingerie. What do you think? Am i being irrational?

[HermitNYC]

If he is really straight... If he is not an uptight prude... I am supposing that you two were already intimate; that is, you were not taking things to another level...

Some guys really don't appreciate surprises. They don't like being caught off-guard, unprepared. Maybe he had just beat off, so that he could relax and not be so horny in your presence. Show you some respect, not make you feel like a sex object.

I really don't know what to think. Now that you have asked for other people's reactions on this site, why don't you ask him?

Just tell him that you were hoping to give him a quick thrill and let him know you think he's sexy. Or something like that.

[MikeAndMolly]

He... Honestly sounds like a bit of a jerk.

Like, even if he took it the wrong way to start with, you obviously put a ton of work into that and he should have made and effort to see this in a different light.

It's possible there was something else going on in his head, like something that was bumming him out or weight on him. It's also possible that he's just a jerk.

Sorry, good luck.

[Anonymous]

I would feel the same way if I were you, but maybe he's just not in the mood & truly just wanna chill out with you that day.

[Goodwifie]

Um what a twat of a boyfriend.
My husband wouldn't dare turn me down when I go to the effort to look hot.

[whatdoumeandammit]

Not cool. He should at least be physically tempted by your bod, hunger or whatever aside.

[LeoComo]

Sex drive wares down in monogamous relationships. I think is great what you're doing for your guy. Unfortunately, spicing things up is not easy. I would advise you to keep working on it but without looking for him to get aroused. More like be hot by yourself. Eventually he'll notice and jump on you 😊

[learningtherooes]

Food and pot can wait.
Or if only a few minutes out he could have said that.
Seriously, even if friends with benefits you don't reject an effort like that, if you're both happy to consent normally.
Sounds like this guy's is a bit of a "douche biscuit".

[PoliceLivesMatter]

I think he was just expecting to do something else that day and it is nothing against you at all. A lot of the times, men and women's sex moods differ or occur on different days. I'm sure he would be enthralled to see you in your lingerie in the appropriate time. You should not get insecure at all for this, it's nothing. I personally would not have used the words he used, even though they were not that bad.

[GingerGuy]

No not irrational but weed and food was all that was on his mind at the time (that and he doesn't know women very well or doesn't care?). I don't know about your boyfriend, but I personally don't care for lingerie. It's my belief it's for women to feel sexy, not really for guys lol, but some love it I guess? But regardless I'd appreciate the effort. But yeah, it was just bad timing I'm thinking (and/or insensitive), but nothing to do with you.

[Anonymous]

I'd have had a hard time not playing with you and fucking you right away. But, the timing was not good, as someone was coming soon. Also, if the food was about ready, it made sense to wait. But if he didn't fuck you afterward, then he's was being a jerk.

[playandplay]

You did your hair and effort to look sexy. Maybe he was thinking about another girl he had sex with or he's bi or bi curious thinking bout dudes. Its unusual for a guy to not want to be all over a female friend flirt acquaintance or girlfriend when she's looking sexy smelling good and is the aggressor. He is mixed up or thinking something very heavy.

[innocentshark]

I would suggest to communicate your disappointment as a feedback to him in a calm manner so that he can understand u more. Sometimes there are these kind of gaps in communication which leads to bottled up passive aggression which your partner is unaware of.

[Damieeeeeen]

I think he responded in a bad way and you should tell him that. He could have said babe you look amazing right after we get our weed I'm going to be all over you.

[Bad_Man55]

Umm your boyfriend is a total ass hat.. What kinda straight guy turns down a attractive woman in lingerie for an afternoon delight? Or for any kinda day sex..

[Rick2367]

Sounds like a jerk.
Maybe had a bad day and didn't eat.
I remember when my ex did that don't get me wrong looks very sexy but a guys will always want sex for him to say later he must be hungry lol

[Aizou]

Don't be insecure. His comment may have come off a bit crude, but he probably just wasn't in the mood/was waiting for that dude you mentioned.

[Krish_is_me]

Perhaps he wasn't in the mood owing to some kind of stress.

Something else must be bothering him and he just needed a quiet time with you to relieve the stress. Emotionally, not physically.
So, don't fret over it. See what bothers him.

[WhoDatGuy]

A little, but he's also a jerk for not appreciating the effort you made

[paleblue]

He probably just wasn't in the mood

[hotdoggy]

I'd fill your bun right then and there f that guy

[pawan1996]

Confused about ur story can't say anything

[satchiel66]

Maybe he just also had a headache

[Anonymous]

Sounds like he doesn't appreciate you.

[Anonymous]

yes, you should be