Why do men devalue women past 30?

Question

Okay, i am very triggered and pissed off right now. I don't want to generalize or offend anyone, so gentlemen, enlighten me. are women past 30 or 40 chopped liver in your eyes? do you only value women between 15-29 years old? i just answered a question that some guy asked, claiming that women past 30 are "old thots" whom their husbands would start to dislike and be more interested in 20 -year-old women. i don't want to generalize, but from all of the guys who respond to these types of questions on here, and from what i observe happening to middle-aged ladies in real life and in movies, i think many men feel this way, and just don't say it. wow, i only have 8-9 years left before i am dangerously close to 30. after that, i'm chopped liver, rigth? t

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Look, as an "old thot" myself (I'm 29 :D) I can tell you there's truth to this and there's the internet. It is true that men flock to youthful beauty, it's true that I've known lots of men my age+ who are dating women 18-21 and it's also true that I highly doubt that's coincidence. Society values women primarily for looks. This is the problem. Evolution plays a role but most people seriously overestimate their capacity to understand that role. Environment and culture play a huge role in this. When you have media and culture that reinforce the value of youthful beauty, this is to be expected. Not even just that but the idea of women as commodity or related to status. For many men, yes, you will be chopped liver.

On the other hand, it's definitely not nearly as bad as anyone here would make you believe. The men common on GaG often have um... very specific perspectives. Perspectives that I dont tend to find are overwhelmingly reflected in or impact my own life. Granted, region plays a large role. I live in NYC where people tend to pair up a bit later and people are so career driven that it's normal to meet women who have focused on that first. Many older women are having children. A friend of mine (not in NYC) got married at 30 and she and her husband just had a baby and she's 36. she's going for another one. Women in my family haven't had a problem having babies later in life either. Fertility is a reality though and getting pregnant is harder, depending on the person. My aunt had no trouble getting pregnant at 40, but my friend I mentioned had to struggle with fertility treatments for a year before getting pregnant. But she did it and now she and her husband have a healthy baby. So many stories like that are around me, so I suppose that gives me hope. My reference for what is normal or possible may be different because of my environment. Not that you even have to want kids, and adoption is always a wonderful choice as well - a lot of children need homes!

So yes, the men love the young chickadees... okay, they love them a lot! Lol But all is not lost and there are plenty of people out here just living their lives and connecting with people and finding love. Yes, even old ass love. It's not as a bad as it seems, but you are right to acknowledge that the sexist world we live in does devalue older women. You'd also be right to acknowledge that getting pregnant is easier younger, and if you want to be pregnant many many times, starting younger is biologically advantageous. Whether it's better in terms of career, financial stability, relationships, and maturity is another issue but that's life. And there's even a value on youth in the workplace in many work cultures, unfortunately. So if you put off career, youd have to deal with that competition too. Life isn't perfect.

Dating does get harder as you get older but it also gets much easier. The quality of men you deal with gets much better in my opinion, you know yourself and become far more confident and accomplished. Have I had to make peace with getting older? Yes. But I'm loving it now. I feel another level of "no fucks to give, living my best life" vibes. I've focused so much on growing in my 20s thay my relationship with myself and others has become so much healthier. You really couldnt pay me to be young again. I've accomplished and experienced some things I wanted to, and the future still looks bright. One thing I will say is that maturity and accomplishment can turn off some men my age, usually those who haven't matured or accomplished much. So there's that.

I hope you enjoy your 20s and focus more on your own internal development and what you want, not on internet trolls calling women old thots. If you want to get married young, try to do that. If you dont, then dont. Own your value, dont let anyone else determine that for you. You'll attract people who can recognize and appreciate it.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

there's a lot of lonely and bitter men on this site. they act as though they won't age and grow old, themselves. what's funny is that some think they can pull young girls when they themselves are old, fat, and bald. what a joke.

jennifer_bloom · Accepted Answer

I just have one question for you who likes to mock older woman - do you believe you will go to heaven after you die? I have the God of this entire universe as my Father and I do not need to attract 20 year old men.

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

I hate to break it to you, but evolution is responsible for that, not men.

See, starting from puberty, women's social value (on average) takes off like a rocket, peaking at about age 22, declining very slowly through her 20s and then far more quickly as she hits 30 and beyond.

Men, on the other hand, have very low social value in their teens and 20s, with women having FAR more social power and influence. Men don't start to develop real social value until their 30s, which is typically when they start getting some traction in their careers and first start having any significant resources, stability, and status.

Why is this? It's simply a reflection of Natural Selection, which rewards anything that helps SURVIVAL and REPRODUCTION. For men, having resources (food, shelter, medicine, etc.) and security means that women and children can be protected and provided for during times when they are vulnerable (women during and just following pregnancy; kids until they're 5 or 6 and can take care of their most immediate basic needs themselves). Men typically don't have these things when they are younger, so their social value is low.

Women, on the other hand, are all about their ability to have children. And though VERY recently we've developed fertility treatments that allow women to have children at older ages, naturally, women's fertile years are from their late teens through their 20s, falling off quickly in their early 30s. Women's social value follows that curve almost exactly.

You are currently at your peak value. You have FAR more social influence than virtually any man your age, and there's virtually nothing men can do about that - we didn't create this system anymore than women did - evolution created it. But, yes, your social value will fall off around age 30, just as men's social value is finally starting to rise. There's nothing you can do about that either, except to be aware of it and to use that to your advantage.

Your wisest use of your power, assuming you want a family, is to find the best-quality man you can find in his late 20s or early 30s, and marry him while you have the social value to do so. If you wait until you are 30, you won't have the social value to pull men who are 8's, 9's, and 10s like you can now. If you wait until you are 30, you'll be shopping for 7s that you (at best) would have friend-zoned in your 20s and wondering why they ignore you in favor of the 24 year olds.

Evolution isn't interested in equality or fairness - it's interested in reproduction and survival of the species. You have your window of power - use it wisely because it isn't going to last.

Garkrum91 · Accepted Answer

No. These people are just trolls. Women in there 30 to40s or even beyond can be beautiful and sexy.

Prob stating the obvious but what some one finds attractive can and will change as you get older.

Just ignore these immature trolls.

Hopefully no mistakes first time posting in a while

Praec · Answer

It's largely a fertility thing; after 30 women are more likely to have difficulties in pregnancy, after 35 the child is more likely to have genetic defects. Youth is one of the things most men find attractive, but we never list it as something we like, as it flies under the radar as something that goes without saying.

Plus, there's a certain perception of women over 30 in some circles; it's women who were either too promiscuous to find a relationship in their 20's, or it's a woman with something so drastically wrong with her that nobody else wanted her.

I met the girl I love a couple of weeks before her 35th birthday; I wouldn't change her age, even if I could, because I love her just the way she is now.

Anyone who is serious won't care about age, because you want to grow old and grey together anyway. But to understand "the wall" or "birthday cakes" or "leftover women" it comes back to fertility - we still somewhat look down on those that squandered what is perceived to be their prime years.

There's also the thing where men gain value as they age; mainly because we should have bought a house, a car, gotten a better paid job, etc. A 30 year old woman goes for a 30 year old man, but he's probably looking for someone that's 24-26; that same guy would have jumped through hoops for the same woman when they were both 25 though.

Is it wrong? Maybe. It's a fact of life, though; if you want a good guy, you probably need to get him before he's old enough for younger models to be an option, or you'll have to get him pre-owned (divorced/widowed).

englisc · Answer

I think you've misunderstood what's meant by that.

It's a comparison of single women, with men looking to find a woman to marry and perhaps build a family with. Not married women.

A woman is most attractive in her early 20s. If a man is looking to have mulitiple children, it would be better for him to go for a woman in early 20s than to go for a single woman in her 30s as her fertility is already on the decline. He may have to date her for a year or two also before having kids, in which case she's even closer to becoming infertile.

There's often a reason she's not been snapped up by then too. She probably makes bad decisions in partners or is heavily career-focused. Being single up until then, she's probably had more partners than a 20 year old. More baggage. Probably a dumb feminist. Not the kind of woman most men want as mothers for their children, attractive men with options at least.

This is why there are many women who focused on their careers into their 30s complain that they can't find marriagable men - the men they want don't want them, the only ones available (the guys who in response to this will say "I prefer a woman 30+") are the ones they don't want.

It's not that men lose love for their wives in their 30s and favour younger women. Because if the couple have a few kids already, and she's been a good wife, loyal, a great mother to the children, then she has more value to him than any 20 year old.

So really, it just means that you're best to find a good husband sooner rather than later, and ignore the feminist bullshit idea that you should ignore your biological clock and say "fuck what men want". Unless you like cats.

hellionthesagereborn · Answer

No, only women who have devalued themselves are viewed as not valuable after thirty. What devalues after 30 is sexual appeal, now for a woman who has created a family, is a mother is a wife and has actively worked for those things, she is going to always have value after 30. Its the women who sleep around, who want "excitement", who jump from guy to guy up until they are 30 then want to "settle down", those are the ones who have no value after thirty. Its quite logical really, if she has only practiced being a sex object (by being promiscuous partying and thrill seeking), she has not bothered developing herself beyond this, to be a person worth respecting beyond the sexual aspects, ergo once the sexual aspect starts to fade and stop being as appealing she is no longer valuable. If all a man has is his looks and that is all he capitalizes on, all he develops, what happens when he looses those looks? He becomes nothing because that was all he ever was. Same goes for women who only capitalize and develop their sexual aspects, once you lose those aspects or they start to fade you are easily replaceable because you have not created anything else for people to care about.

Cask23 · Answer

Women are valued for their beauty and fertility.

A women in her early 20's is in her prime fertility and beauty.

Think I'm joking? This is straight from Wikipedia.

"A woman's fertility peaks lasts during the twenties and first half of thirties, after which it starts to decline, with advanced maternal age causing an increased risk of female infertility."

At age 35 a women is considered a high risk pregnancy.

See the picture for risk of a down syndrome child based on women's age.

This is why older guys who want children date younger women.

In the context of marriage and having children at a reasonable age, women do no become chopped liver. Usually marriage provides the structure to support children to adulthood and the mother becomes invaluable to the family structure.

However, if you are single and in your 30's know your going to be hitting the wall soon. Your going to become less and less desirable to the dating male population.

in my opinion - This is the biggest disservice Feminism is doing to young women. It is giving a message to pursue career and delay marriage/children for as long as possible. Most women who go this route don't realize it till it's to late and her beauty/fertility value have declined to the point she can only get 2nd and 3/4th level pickings in the dating market.

Anonymous · Answer

It's a fertility thing. Risk of pregnancy complications increase after 30 and risk of genetic fects increase after 35. So if a single and is 30 and wants children he has to find someone compatible and he may not quickly find someone above 30 who clicks with him quickly.

Assuming he find someone who's say 31 dates for 2-3 years, so now they're 33/34 and then gets married. They have a year, becfore pregnancies increase in risk to get mucky. If they want to enjoy a year or two of marriage before having children she'll be between 34-36 years old. So a man looking for children will look to someone 5+ years younger than 30.

There are also other guys who wanted to sleep around in their 20's but never got the chance due to various factors and are now looking to younger easier to impress women to sleep with. By the time a guy reaches 30 he should have his own place, a car, and assuming he was working hard in his 20's a stable career life. These are things some women his age were looking for when he was in his 20's. So he may go back to date 20 something year olds.

Some women do use their 20's to have fun, sleep around and just enjoy life. Then by 30 some become people who aren't successful in life, and being in their 30's some guys aren't interested in a woman who don't have their life together. Though if this isn't the case if a woman does have her life together then a guy is looking for a partner. A lot of women get a large list of demands and to be honest that does turn guys off (especially if the list is ridiculous).

Also if a guy is looking to settle down in his 20's and there is a woman who is more promiscuous and not interested in him or settling down, then if he loses interest in her or her type over time she shouldn't be surprised (assuming he's not promiscuous). This guy may be looking for younger women to settle down with and marry.

Then there are other guys who are just misogynists and date younger while slandering women out of bitterness.

Anonymous · Answer

Anyone using the word thot, is already a fucking manchild and can be dismissed out of hand when they say anything about a human in their 30's or older.

Women are valuable at any age. it depends on the woman, not how many times she's gone around the Sun. The things that are valued, change. Young women? Great breeders. Older women, great housemakers. Yeah yeah, feminism. 40 years of feminism can fuck right off in the face of millions of years of evolution. Women can work and have a career.

Middle aged women are valued as housemakers and mothers.

Older women than that? Often the matriarchs of extended family units.

Women can find value at any age and through a changing role, just as a young man starting a career can be very different from the man who eventually retires. Things change.

wc444 · Answer

It's the concept known as Sexual Marketplace Value (SMV). To put it simply, men view women as sexual objects and women view men as success objects.

When a woman is young and attractive, her SMV is high. As she ages, her SMV declines. Think of a piece of fruit. Would you rather have a firm, juicy plum or a wrinkly, dried out prune?

Conversely, a man's SMV tends to increase with age. This is because, his financial success, and his ability to provide security and stability increase as he gets older. In this case, think of a man as a bottle of wine. Would you rather have wine that was bottled last week, or some that has matured for a decade or more?

This is not to say that older women and young men have no value in society, because they certainly do. However, in terms of appealing to the most basic desires of the opposite sex, SMV is an undeniably large factor.

mrbobz · Answer

I think it's an age relative thing. If your under 20 a 30 year old woman looks old.. But to me 30 is young. There are a lot of aggressive male types on here so, you can expect some degree of hatred towards women as well.

For me personally I found I check out women 5 years older or younger, is a 40 year old I seen recently I wouldn't kick out of bed for eating crisps!

As for younger, yeah sure a 21 year old girl might look nice too, but then my brain goes... Ugh they are young, they are going to do your head in. Older people have learnt more from life, been beaten longer by it and are more "okay" with things. I think younger people have greater expectations... I don't know it's hard to explain... I guess as you get older you mature mentally as well as physically, and when your muscles start aching more, and your brain just wants a beer and to switch off after work, a young excitable mind is not the answer

Obi_Juan_Kenobi · Answer

I would say women past 30 aren't chopped liver. But thats just me. How other guys feel I can't tell. Personally I think women get more serious as they age, so a 30yo woman is already mature enough and knows what she wants and what she likes or not. Therefore i would consider her a wife material. Of course there are also other factors which make a woman a wife material or not.

ForteExe · Answer

Men don't devalue women past 30. After 30 women lose their value because they begin to lose their fertility. Men don't make women lose their fertility after 30, it's a natural step in a woman's life. Don't lay this at the feet of men. Also, just because you're no longer able to have children doesn't mean you're worthless as a human. No one believes that. As far as being a woman is concerned, your ability to have children is your most valuable characteristic. Without that there's little reason why I'd think "I need a woman for xyz". Don't make the common mistake of conflating your worth as an individual and your worth as a woman.

lightbulb27 · Answer

BS! I think women are better 28+... a lot of growth occurs prior to that in who they are. Granted, I think always better if possible to start relationship young and grow so she is less damaged by society, but 30s+ is fine. some of this may drive off demographics, and I don't have that data handy.
I'm older... am I chopped... sushi?

MarketData · Answer

Not gonna lie to you, there is some decline in physical attractiveness from... well I'd say from mid-30s, then at 40 you're washed up. Just nature taking its' course. In past centuries very few people lived beyond 40 so it was never an issue.

Ripper_E · Answer

If by devalue you mean not attractive, I have to disagree because there are women in their 30's, 40's, 50's, and 60's that I've found attractive. I don't use the word thot. If I want to call a girl a ho, I'll just say that. Don't get me wrong, like with any age bracket, there are women in their 30's that are trash, but that isn't because they are in their 30's.

s2firestar · Answer

Let's face it. Most women do not old well and definitely not gracefully.

And, as a man, why would I resort to older women, when I can get women in their 20s? Why would I waste my finest years fulfilling older womens' dreams (who, by the way, most likely lived their life to a rather fullness in their best years) who now demand attention, when they are done with screwing around?

Oh. And triggered much? Well, the world is a cold place. Get used to it.

BeMuse · Answer

They don't. But if you want a free ride on your youthful looks from someone, you do have an expiration date. Some women are complex and continue to grow in depth with age. Other focus on make up and fashion thinking that’s all that matters and then get mad when it doesn’t seem to work anymore after a certain age.

jessture · Answer

No different than women dismissing men who aren't taller.

BananaGrey · Answer

Where you get that ridiculous notion from. I know plenty guys
my age that refuse to even consider dating a woman under
thirty-five. They're mainly settled,
financially independent and secure and mature in the way
they view and deal with issues.

jimmy2 · Answer

No not at all. We can't control our years. Not all men are as you said. I was married for 36 years till she passed. I would love a 40 year old. We all are beautiful in the eyes of the boulder if we are male or female.

murdanyc916 · Answer

what are u talking bout? women over 30 are in their prime! a nice milf with a full set, little meat, money, kids grown or chose none, got their lifes figured out, and you can tell why their last man left them (alcohol, drugs, crazy, etc.) by looking at their image/face.

its women UNDER 30 that devalue themselves, us men just agree.

example : a woman wears a thong and leggings when she's 400 lbs and 20 years old then complains that she looks "fat" yet has no shame of hiding up. then a man sees her and throws up and gets accused of devaluing her.

see?

Holistic · Answer

That's because you're on this website which doesn't represent the real world. Rarely anyone thinks of middle aged women as old thots.

Why do men devalue women past 30?

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