How mean would it be to tell him he's not boyfriend material?

[Anonymous]

Hi guys! i have a best guy friend of over 3 years. he's 33 years old. He parties like he's in highschool aka gets black out drunk every weekend. He sleeps around and flirts with so many girls. He's not really what i would consider boyfriend material. I love him as a friend and think he's an amazing person but he just has A LOT of growing up to do. Smokes pot every day too. He's recently confessed to me he has feelings for me and would like to date but I don't know how to tell him i dont find him boyfriend material. Many people think this as well. I'm 25 and more mature than he is. His whole life is partying and getting wasted and that's just not my thing. How harsh would it be to tell him I don't find that he is boyfriend material?

[GrayMatters]

Tell him your concerns. You don’t think he has a healthy lifestyle. He could wind up in a lot of legal drama with the pot smoking (and if he’s driving while drinking). Tell him you’re looking for a serious partner with whom you can build a life. Tell him he’s obviously not in the same place as you.

If he’s serious about you and knows well what he stands to lose, he may even change his ways. Sometimes it’s the kick in the pants that a guy like him needs.

[Intraluminal]

Doesn't sound harsh at all, so long as it's, "these things that you do are unappealing" instead of "you are unappealing."

[Poppymarie]

Not too harsh. It’s true. As long as you word it tactfully I don’t see anything wrong with it.

[Anonymous]

Just be straight with him that you cannot be with someone in that way that lives the way he does

[PrincessGrail]

You need to be honest with him.

[ItsTheNephilim]

That isn't mean at all.

[Hugemoth]

not mean at all