So my boyfriend keeps calling his girlfriends on Instagram beautiful, stunning, pretty, gorgeous souls and all that bullsh&$%
I try not to react, but it does bother me that he has a bible of compliments for other women but not for me... is like if he goes simplistic and blank when it comes down to me, that’s just on social media because when we are together, he compliments me but still in does it in a insecure way. Wtf guys, is this even normal?
Why does he compliment other women but has trouble complimenting me?
It's harder to give a compliment when you really mean it. Telling a friend they are beautiful is easy, because you're just encouraging them, their reaction doesn't matter much. Telling a girlfriend the same should come easy too; but it can also become difficult, as we're self-conscious with the added seriousness of the compliment.
I do! I wear what he likes most of the time, and he does compliment that I look beautiful, but he does it in a awkward way... I don't know I’m so confused?
Hard to say now. He compliments you but he also compliments other women. I mean I personally don't see much wrong from my perspective. In any case the special attention "must" (strong word for this example) belong to you.
Ditch him. My EX complimented other girl all the time but never ever me, unless it was in a sex situation. He's a piece of TRASH. I'm so glad I'm not wasting my life with him anymore.
You're his girlfriend and he has girlfriends on Instagram? 😲 Hon, I think you're with the wrong man! That is not normal (or it shouldn't be). He doesn't have to compliment you - he already has you (especially if you're having sex with him). He doesn't have to "win" you over - he's already won your affections {as far as he's concerned}. If your boyfriend (and I use the term loosely 😒 ) tells you what he calls the women on Instagram, he's possibly trying to get a reaction out of you. (He might even have the characteristics of a trouble-maker.) If this is the case, please do yourself a favor, hon, and read the free book found at: www.smashwords.com/books/view/787446 If your "boyfriend" ;) has a lot of the characteristics listed in this book, you might want to re-evaluate your relationship with him.
Of course it bothers you - you have every right to react. I'm sure (if he cares about you) he wouldn't like it if you had boyfriends on social media and kept complimenting them, calling them gorgeous souls, etc.
Ya might wanna kick him to the curb - just sayin'. ;) Good luck, hon. 🌷
Maybe he is shy with women he cares about? I struggle with that a bit, I can be much more confident around women I don't care about because if I say something wrong then I can find a new one, but if I really like her then I am much more careful with my words and compliments, trying to come up with something more personalized, like mentioning that I like a new haircut, or complimenting a change in style, maybe it's just for me, but a lot of answers I give are one word answers that don't really reflect how I feel, If a girl asked me how she looked and I simply replied "stunning" then around 85% of the time I am lying in an attempt to dodge/avoid the answer. The other 15% of the time it's the only word I can come up with because I am actually stunned lol. Compliments like that just seems fake to me, beautiful, stunning, pretty, gorgeous, they all mean the same thing, and they all mean almost nothing since the definition of beauty changes depending in who you ask. It's like calling a piece of art "thought provoking", its a generalized compliment that says nothing about the painting or the artist. I can call anything beautiful, just as I can call anything thought provoking, because the definitions of these words vary from person to person.
It happened me with an ex. He did that. It was because he knew how invested I was in the relationship and he wasn't sure of commitment so he tried not to "call my attention" too much and tried not to keep too much in touch either. He in other words didn't want to keep "feeding" the flame of love. Of course that was an experence I had, i don't know your situation well and he was kinda wishy washy.
4
1 Reply
Asker
+1 y
He is damn sweet when we are together, I just don’t get his attitude of complimenting other women but has a hard time doing it with me in Instagram or fb. I don’t get it! 🤷🏻♀️
I'm sure he does care about her more than other women. Some women are very secure with what they are to their man that they don't get upset by their man complimenting other women. I'd ask questions if he was only complimenting one of his lady friends online. That to me would be a problem. But since he's not trying to hide it, because he knows his woman can see what he likes. That tells me he's not complimenting them with the thought of being flirty or thinking it's something that would upset her.
He's complimenting you in person so he probably doesn't feel he needs to do it on social media as well. Also it's easier to be more confident behind a phone than in person.
Now if he wasn't complimenting you at all and only women online then that would be a problem. But he is.
@Unit1 women make the mistake of thinking that men think like us. I bet you if she brought it to his attention that he compliments these other womens photos online but not her photos online he would tell her because I tell you in person. To me that's much better than liking my pic online. I just think it comes from insecurities.
I really loved your response. Because what you said is very true. I too prefer being told in person. But then again, one would benefit from watching their actions rather than what they say.
Wait, I'm a little confused so humor me. What are you in, a polyamorous relationship? I don't understand this crap about his Instagram "girlfriends". What are you to him, because you seem like chopped liver? If it were me I'd be kicking this clown to the curb because no one treats his S/O like that. And no one should accept that kind of treatment unless they are super needy and have no other options - like maybe he is the last man on earth or something.
Ask him! But whatever you do, do not make it sound like you're blaming him. Make it about yourself. Say that you noticed that he compliments other girls online, but that he compliments you way less. Say it makes you feel insecure even though it's probably nothing, but you felt like you needed to share that feeling with him and ask him if how he feels about this.
There’s long list of things I love about my girlfriend, but I can’t tell her all those at once. It will come off as overkill and seem insincere. So maybe it’s what he wants to say to you but can’t.
All I know is you won’t catch me looking at other women or complimenting them. I only have eyes for my girl.
I think it’s fucked up whatever the reason he does that and if my girl was doing that... I’d dump her before long.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
He probably likes you a whole looooooot more than all these random girls he likes pictures of because he is with you for a reason and you are special to him but he should only be complimenting you and mean it to
i still think what he is doing is messed up..
If i was in a serious relationship I wouldn't compliment other guys, especially not if my partner was going to see it.
Like oh my God look at his face he's sooo handsome, Oooe he has nice abs and chest
Damn look at those eyes... so beautiful...
Nope, it ain't happening if I am in a relationship with someone because all those compliments would be about my man not other men.
@Monalisa77 Omg obviously i will think they are good looking but i'm not going to rub it in my partners face and tell him. That's just stupid. Besides Im gonna make sure im attracted as fuck to my partner so why should any other guys looks even matter to me anyways? Sure there is always going to be hot men in the world but I wouldn't tell my partner about hot guys... if i hangout with my girl friends and we talk about celebrities then I would talk about who i think is handsome or good looking but im not going to like other guys pics on social media and comment things on it if im in a relationship. Period.
It’s possible he’s shy complimenting you in particular since he holds you higher in his head compared to other women. You can always tell him how you feel but if you don’t feel comfortable doing that you can always ask him in a non confrontational manner why he does this. Like make it sound like your joking around or don’t care as much as you do.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
Sounds like a narcissist. Tell him how you feel if he laugh at you or keep doing the same behavior leave him.
Even if he did compliment u what the fuck are you doing with a man complimenting other women like that? U know why he doesn't,? Because u have no self worth. Ur a tissue to him
I wouldn't even stay with a man who compliments other women constantly online lol and can't even do the same for me. You should definetely talk to him about it cause that's not a normal behavior in a relationship.
he has instagram girlfriends? i would not be ok w that and you shouldn’t be either. he obviously doesn’t appreciate you, his ACTUAL girlfriend, over these instagram girls. you could do better.
Maybe he prefers to slap your butt, holding your thin waist in his rough and strong hands while kissing your neck until you get goosebumps? It think such compliments say more than thousand flattering words
I have the same issue and it’s because I actually care about my friends’ opinions of me, whereas if I compliment a stranger I don’t know them as well, so their opinion doesn’t matter as much to me
I've learnt the hard way that if he's complimenting women online then he obvisouly doesn't give a fuck about you. An to any girls that disagree, just wait and see. 😉
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