If your girl goes thru your text messages and emails, is she in the wrong, or is that stuff allowed? (Page 2)

Question

I've had a lot of friends who had big arguments start between them and their girlfriends because their girlfriends went digging thru their private stuff like text messages and e-mails and found something that made them suspect he was cheating, though it eventually turned out to be nothing in most cases.  My thing is.What right does she have to go thru this stuff?  Is nothing private in a relationship?  I don't care how long we've been together, the second I find out she's been going thru my shit, I kick her to the curb.  I don't put up with that.  It's just plain lack of respect.  Am I wrong for thinking this way?  Girls, what's your opinion on the matter?  and Guys, how would YOU feel if your girl went thru your shit and made a big deal out of something she found that turned out to be nothing?

ohjustrain · Answer

to me it shows a lack of confidence in your relationship. The only reason I can think of, (in her defence) is have you given her a reason to doubt her trust in you?

personally, I wouldn't even go out with a guy that I felt the need to go rummaging through

his personal stuff.

so no, it's not cool. at all. as long as you don't hold a double standard (doesnt sound you do)

i would be FURIOUS if my boyfriend went through my things - for no reason.

unless he KNEW I was cheating or something like that.

justthefriend · Answer

i don't agree with it, some girls do that because of insecurites, I've only done it once and that was because my BF's brother told me that he was cheating on me and to look into it, so I checked and he was. but personally I don't think it should b done

SergeantPain · Answer

if she goes through it without your consent its most definately wrong. without having privacy we would have really no business. and I really don't care if my girl goes threw my stuff because she won't find nothing but if ya act suspecious and dnt let her look...well either way she gonna start fussing

mixedmami87 · Answer

Well I won't lie I've done it before. My ex showed all the signs of cheating yet I had no physical proof. I see it as no one is gonna look out for you but yourself. So I helped myself to his phone. I found a lot of sexual text and info. I see it as if he screwing someone else and I didn't know I could of gotten an STD or worse.  He was screwing so many girls it was unreal. I was happy that I found out the truth. but I was also regretting it because it hurt so much and it really affected my trust with men. Now to this day if I feel there is some infidelity I'll just ask. But I no longer look in the phone. If its meant for me to know I'll find out in another way. So to answer ur question. it's just kinda 50/50. I don't think its a prob if you ready for what you might find and if you have nothing to hide then I would let her. Then that will show ur tellin the truth and she's just insecure.

Anonymous · Answer

You were right about not putting up with that. unfortuntely though I see that kind of behavior a lot in other girls I'm close to. I haven't the slightest idea as to why, but it seems for some women, when a certain point has been hit in the relationship or they feel any sort of change (weather it be real, or in their head) they search for an excuse as to what is giving them this feeling. reffering to jealousy, abandonment, or disinterest. there is however no excuse for anyone to go through your personal buisness like that. I have too felt the need to sometimes, but all it takes is a good reality check to realize nothing has really changed, and its just the fear of weather it will.

Anonymous · Answer

The ONLY reason I would go through a partner e-mail/text/voicemail, etc. is if I believed that he was up to something; and if I do, you better believe that I'vve already talked to him and let him know that I'm leary. If we're to this point, he probably knows that we're about to hit the point of no return.

halie · Answer

Weapon zero

first of all why keep secrets in a relationship it Will only back fire and things can end up badly.

if you are being faithful to your women then there is no need for her to go thru your stuff,but if you start acting strange around her she is going to start suspecting somting .

I know I did it with my ex and I was right , at first he was angry and told me that we won't work because I don't trust him you now all the funny words he then said I must change before we can try again we took a month space and you know what in that months time I found out he was still sleeping with his ex girlfriend so sometimes you guys do things that gets us suspensions going.

but best of luck my you get the right answer you are looking for

chao hallie

Jackiegurl · Answer

GIrls do not have the right to search through their guy's stuff. Just because you are in a relationship doesn't mean you lose all of your privacy. Besides, what if you were planning a surprise party or something?

iknowhoiam · Answer

I would never dig through personal stuff like that. Simply tell the girl that some things still are private, and if she has any doubt about anything - she should just ask you. A good argument is that every girl would FREAK if their boyfriend went through their personal things ;)

ItsMe · Answer

Who really text personal hardcore family business anyways? I know I dont. It's either over the phone, in person or not at all and I tell my boyfriend everything. they know it too.  :)

The-Nash · Answer

One of my ex's went through my phone and found out what she was getting for her birthday, and it ruined the surprise. My friend Matt was trying to help me figure out what she would like better in a text, and she saw it. So nah, I don't want anyone going through my phone.

Kaybee517 · Answer

You are right! Period. Unless you have blatantly given your girl permisson to do so, your phone /email/texts are your business. It' s private. If a girl is snooping she's either insecure or doesn't trust you (whether it's with /or without merit).

mnb108 · Answer

I mean, there shouldn't be aproblem unless there's something to hide. . .but it should be allowed. I know someone who accidentally found texts from another lady & found out that her hubby was cheating with like 15 different women, just because he left his phone on the table. Your partner is supposed to be your best friend.

A_20Chick · Answer

Well if  she has a concern she should just talk to her boyfriend not go thou his stuff I have never dun that I always talk to who ever I'm dating at the time I would be mad if a guy did that to me and the same goes for other people theling the girl stuff that there guy is doing or has dun and they always go way to far on it girls need to just ask there guy and if you know him well you can tell if he's liing so but no one needs to put up with that

Gynacoolagist · Answer

Nah man its not okay, unless you did something to make her suspicious of her cheating. With me she is In a bad place to be doin that, I don't let my closest friends go through my phone. Id be sssoooooo angry if she had gone through my phone. Especially if I didn't know about it. Just don't give her a reason to though.

savannasky · Answer

she probally did go back. I am in the same situation and I finally left my crazy x and I am regreting it every day. last night we had it out pretty big and I wanted to leave so I got my cloths and my kids cloths and was trying to leave and he slashed the tires on my truck and threw all my cloths out. sometimes it is very hard to leave some one that you are close with and I am already to leave again and last night was my ticket and I dident get the chance. now I have to go back and I really don't want to. I think that the only reaseon I went back is because I dident feel like I could make it fin.

MzKelz · Answer

we are all def wrong...everyone should just mind there own business...ur girl shoud ask herself what she's doing wrong to make someone stray...

but then again people don't like others to be happy so most "girls" will see a guy happy and shoot and email that says...Hey sexY ...and the war is on...so I suggest if your in a relationship...stay away from technology!

Notsofabulous · Answer

I've been one of these girls, but I've also been cheated on several times. If a guy gets upset when I look through text it makes me believe I have even more of a reason to look, however, I've found if a guy is open to letting me read their text then I'm not as suspicious and don't want to look through them. It's a bad habit I'm trying to kick.

jenn_a_adams · Answer

I don't think there is anything wrong with a "spot check"... You have nothing to worry about if you have nothing to hide. The people I know that have a problem with being checked up on were found to be guilty of something.

djstizl · Answer

I'd be pissed! There isn't anything to hide, so if she wanted to know, all she'd have to do is ask. I agree with you, if that happened, see ya! I don't put up with BS like that. Life is too short to deal with drama.

elliegrl93 · Answer

Girls just want to make sure they are the only ones for you and if they do this something is obviously wrong in the relationship for her to feel insecure and feel the need to check your messages however she just might be nosey or a physco!.

cuttiepie13 · Answer

hi to be honest I don't think that is a good thing to do at all that means there's a lack of trust

and if you haven't been doing anything to make her feel like she has to then taht really is envading privacy and I don't blame you for feeling like that.

Jeep-V · Answer

its a violation of there trust unless you guys agree that its ok (which depends from people to ppl) you should trust your significant other enough to not go trew there stuff. if it bothers you so much you might just have a talk with them

Death-or-glory13 · Answer

my friend had some girl keep asking who was calling and went through his phone.

he asked her one thing, "do you pay for my cell phone? no you don't and until you do back the [expletive] up." she never asked again.

you cannot deny truth.

adat1408 · Answer

it's allowed if you did something like cheat on her.or something else that might make her want to look.but if you didn't do anything at all then she shouldn't

kissme-721 · Answer

That's ridiculous.

I'm a girl nd I would never to that to my bf.

I trust him.

Hey if he wants to tlk to other girls or w/e that's fine with me.

He is just tlking to her.

I think that thinking lyk that isn't rong.cuz if I went through my boyfriend messages nd got caught I would expect to b dumped.

THats rong they should just trust you nd respect ur privacy.

cacapisu · Answer

My ex was checking my phone and history regularly, she was just curious I think.I didn't mind, I had nothing to hide and I had full trust in her. Things got f***ed up when I tried to do the same to her. She got mad when I was looking at her phone or when I took a glance at the screen while she was on messenger. That was not fair...

iamranga · Answer

If my girlfriend went through my personal stuff I would be pretty pissed off. If she did that then I would see her as insecure and I would think that whatever trust there was has now disappeared.

wemma · Answer

it's not black and white with this crap.but basically yeah, she is. she should trust you, and not have to be jealous. its not in the wrong if you do it to her or there's a reason she would be checking. but you shouldn't let her do that.trust is important, and it sounds like she might not have it :[

idessie · Answer

well its wrong but if you don't have nonthing to hide then why not.

Confused614 · Answer

I would def flip. To me its not about trying to hide stuff its that fact that she can't trust you and assume your not hiding anything

BottomOfTheOcean · Answer

girls just want to be trusted to be able to do that. and we just also want to see what's been going on  thats all.

Anonymous · Answer

My gf of 4 years has recently started snooping. at least i noticed it now. She went away for a week and i noticed on my gmail activity a nj ip, and it was her parents house.

anyways, I've never had anything to hide. i love her more than the world itself. but this is rather disturbing. it makes me ponder, how often? Do you even trust me?

its a tough call. Id honestly say she has no right, and nor does he to snoop. When your married, thats a different story. But for a peace of mind, privacy should be respected. I will never read her emails, or her phone. simply because i do trust her, and I really dont wanna read about her girlfriends and what they do with their spare time. no offense ladies, at all. You get what im saying.

its all about respect!!

aardvarkwarbears · Answer

No way, if somebody went through my stuff like that I'd kick their ass to the curb. Just because she's your girlfriend doesn't mean PRIVATE doesn't apply to her. If she thinks your cheating she should talk to YOU about it, not go behind your back.

Anonymous · Answer

your absolutely right I mean just looking at like the first text as a joke is alright and even then that's  really only cute before your dating.  but going through the whole phone...and email?!? that's just weird

keisha8mnb · Answer

if that is truly your girl why do you care if she goes thew it you should have nothing to hide I mean I c it like dis if my boy gets mad  because I'm readng his text messages that means he got something to hide now I can c if she was responding to your text messages  that's a diffeent story  but she is just reading it

kairon156 · Answer

never share your password and if you have your computer rember your email password turn it off so she won't get into it.  look into her purse and see how she feels it's pretty much the same thing to me.

whit7 · Answer

don't get all worked up about it because then she'll think you have something to hide. If you don't want her going thru ur private stuff you should tell her, don't let it get into a fight but just simply say "can you please not go thru my stuff?' if she thinks ur hiding something show her, she'll trust you and she'll nev do it again

aidsleen · Answer

well you have  your right to think like that I personally don't mind there's nothing remotely untrustworthy on my phone anyway and if she pulls me up on it ill sort it out

self1 · Answer

I think its really wrong, I wouldn't want anyone to do that to me, including my boyfriend.

Anonymous · Answer

I wouldn't ever do that to my guy. And I'd expect the same from him.

libbygirl101 · Answer

well sometimes I do that really its kinda a girl thing well where I live it is lol but I just ask about it and know I can trust him to tell the truth but getting mad at her for this will make fer think your hiding something. . .

secretsmiles · Answer

um creepy I have never understood why a girl will go all sherlock on her man i totally agree

cazzy · Answer

I totally agree with you! If anyone did it to me I would be seriously piss. I would never do that to anyone and would fully expect to be DUMPED if I did.

Everyone has the right to privacy. Its the same as reading someones mail. It's just WRONG

SnowAngel01 · Answer

If the dude is upset about his lady going through his e-mails or texts, he obviously has something to hide.

Anonymous · Answer

DEAL WITH IT! If you've got nothing to hide then this shouldnt bother you!

Anonymous · Answer

Not at all! If you allow her, good. but other wise not... you do to her the same think to see if she likes it.

laina16 · Answer

if I look through a guys phone its because I really like him and I want to be sure that he's all mine, I would never go threw a random guys phone, he has to be special... take it as a compliment=]

niki-rae · Answer

sometimes people think that the basic rules of respect in a friendly relationship don't apply in a romantic relationship, but people are wrong, they do. so if you don't let friends go through your messages, don't let her.

chunkylover69 · Answer

It would piss me off if I found out, but I might do it myself - if I thought she was up to something. One of those hypocritical moments.

Anonymous · Answer

I feel like if you had nothing to hide, even something little than it shouldn't be a big deal for a girlfriend to go through your phone. Knowing that they have nothing to worry about after looking through texts & emails will show your girlfriend your the faithful type and will help them feel more secure and have better trust knowing you have nothing to hide from them.

Anonymous · Answer

She doesn't have the right to go through your stuff, esp if you aren't allowed to go through yours. You are totally in the right to "kick her to the curb" when you find that she has gone through your private stuff

KoiaVette · Answer

Anyone who is ThaT suspicious of you clearly cannot trust herself. It's not about you it's about her insecurities watch out and be careful.

stilles · Answer

I think it's rude she doesn't respect your privacy, but if there is something to find.. well that's another matter.

iformshadears · Answer

I would cut a bitch! :D

desiree38 · Answer

if there isn't trust, you have nothing! i have a mother-in-law that does that.

Sassybitch123 · Answer

When your in a relationship she has every right to go thru your stuff just like you would have every to go thru hers. If you have nothing to hide 6you should have no problem with her going thru your stuff.

andycap · Answer

She's totally wrong to be doing it.

Anonymous · Answer

dont forget to pick the best answer

Anonymous · Answer

That's a wrong thing she did.

If your girl goes thru your text messages and emails, is she in the wrong, or is that stuff allowed? (Page 2)

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.