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If your girl goes thru your text messages and emails, is she in the wrong, or is that stuff allowed? (Page 3)
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Yes the girl is in the wrong if she didn't have permission.no one has the right to go through someone elses emails or text messages.how ever tempting it may be.if it were fliped I promise you the other person would be pissed at the act and the accusation of cheating.
No female has a right to go thru their man's shit. and I'm sure if tables wer turned theyd be all pissy. imyself would be hot if my man went thru my shit. if a woman thinks her man is cheating on her she should just confront him. that's how grownups do.
I agree with you completely. goes the other way around too
Like they are going to admit they are cheating when you confront them. Sometimes you have to find out for yourself.
personally I would NEVER do that to a guy. If I wouldn't want him going through mine then why would I do that to my boyfriend. So my answer would be NO.
hope it helps. just know you aren't the only one in the world who likes privacy. and if a girl asked to look or looked at you myspace or whatever then make her let you see hers. Its only fair right?.lol anyways that's how I feel.
So it is ok to look as long as there's mutual agreement? You show me yours and I'll show you mine kind of thing?
For me I wouldn't want to know because I am going to be in a relationship with someone who I trust and hopefully they would trust me.. I have nothing to hide. but I do think that both having the chance is better than one. I don't plan on ever finding out though.
I agree, it is a lack of respect. I know I wouldn't want my guy going through my e-mails or anything (not like I'd have anything to hide, it's just the privacy thing). Plus, you might misinterpret something that you find when snooping. It's just better left avoided in my opinion.
What's an example of something that might be misinterpreted? I can't think of anything.
Well, I'll use my ex as an example. We were hanging out this one time and he got a text from his one friend who needed help. I got curious and I was watching him scroll through his texts, and a LOT of them were from this girl Alyssa. I'm sure if I would've gone through and read them all, I would've suspected something (to me she always seemed a bit too flirty with him). So yeah. That's really all I can think of. But you never know I guess.
Well that's not misinterpreted because you didn't read them. The texts may have been perfectly clear if you had read them.
As I said. You never know.
I don't think it's right to do that. I think it's very very wrong to do that in fact. If you are in a relationship you should have the trust and the self confidence to not want to go through the phone of the other person. If you can't trust them with their emails, texts and whatnot than there is not a lot of hope for the relationship.
This is a very touchy subject because a lot of guys give girls reasons to be suspicious. I think its a complete violation of personal space but if you want to keep trust in the relationship then sometimes it may be helpful. I would feel wronged if it was done to me but I wouldn't be totally opposed to if asked.
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i totally understand how you feel, I've had girlfreinds who have done that, and my crush even stole my phone one day and looked through it, I don't get why girls are so paranoid that we would cheat on them, if anything constantly looking through someones private info will ruin the relationship. However once you get married nothing is private, but before that girls need to calm down and not think a message between freinds is some kind of secret love messages.
Massive respect dude for you attitude.
I agree fully. I have a right to privacy. Doesn't matter if I have nothing to hide or not. If my girl doesn't trust or respect me before we shack up, then what kind of a bitch is she going to be when we do? No thanks.
That depends if you have given her a reason to not trust you. If she's just suspicious in nature, explain that you love her and are committed to her and that you don't appreciate her digging into your things.
The thing to keep in mind is that the minute a guy is suddenly possessive over phone, internet, etc then the girl goes into defense mode and is on the hunt looking for who you're cheating with. It's a natural insecurity that stems from jealousy. If you've given her a reason to not trust you in the past, and you really want the relationship, then pony up, show your phone...be open and honest for a few months and build the trust back. Swallow the pride and show her you love her by resting her insecurities and allowing her to focus on loving you again.
If you haven't given her reason to think you are cheating in the past - then, if you love her, make an appointment for some couples counseling and help her work through her insecurities.
I think that it depend on the situation. If your just being nosey then it is wrong. But my husband gave me a reason to be supicios. He would stay in his car for an hour talking on the phone. If he had nothing to hide then why did he not just come in the house and talk. In my opinion this gave me a reason to check his phone records. I found out that he has been sending numerous texts to two women. 1700 last month and he is already up to 2200 this month. He also spends quit a lot of time talking to one of them when ever I am not around.
I've done it before but now I think that it's wrong and I wouldn't do it again. I kinda figure that if I don't trust the guy I'm with then I shouldn't be with him. If I felt something was going on I would talk to him about it and trust that he's being honest. Why would anyone want to stay with someone who they don't trust?
its an invasion of privacy, its wrong, and should be dealt with in a strict manner
girls, how would you feel if we went digging through something personal of yours, like for example your purse, youd feel pretty violated right?, well no difference here
Any girl who does that is in the definite wrong. There should be privacy in relationships, and that's an extreme violation of it. I fully agree that it's wrong, because everyone has secrets that don't need to be brought up. One of my exes always asked to go through my diary, and got pissed that I wouldn't let him.
The point is, the right to privacy is protected by the constitution, and there is no excuse for that kind of behavior.
No one should get away with going through private messages.even if it's impossible to stop that with today's technology, anyone who does that is more blameworthy that the person who cheated or whatever.
I agree, if she goes thorugh your private material, you should dump her.
Well, the fact that they're doing it shows there is a basic lack of trust in the relationship. Regardless of whether or not that lack of trust if unfounded it's something you just shouldn't do. Communication is far better than any amount of sniffing around behind someone's back.
Its not lack of trust really...its more insecurity and jealousy
I think you are absolutely right. She was in the wrong for going through their stuff. If she felt that she needed to check up on them by going through their stuff then she shouldn't be with them because that shows that she feels she can't trust them. If you feel that you can't trust someone why stay with them?
She's in the wrong! I'd never do it, a) I can only stay with a guy if I trust him and if I suspect there's something going on then the relationship isn't going to work very well, and b) you just don't do it, it would be none of my business and I'm not that bothered! Talk to her, if she's insecure, reassure that there's nothing going on that she has a right to know about, if she still feel the need, the relationship is just not going to work.
If you don't want her going through your texts and emails, simple solution, don't let her. Say look that's my phone my email, you have no right to be looking through them. And then if she says why, is it because your cheating on me, then say no I have some personal family stuff going on that doesn't concern you, and if you don't like that tooo bad! And there you go simple as that.
Yeah, she definitely has no right looking through your personal stuff without your consent. There has to be some sense of privacy in a relationship; you're allowed to have your own life, as is she. If you on the other hand, thought you had the right to look through her personal shit then yes she does have a right to look through yours. But in this case, she owes you your privacy.
to me it shows a lack of confidence in your relationship. The only reason I can think of, (in her defence) is have you given her a reason to doubt her trust in you?
personally, I wouldn't even go out with a guy that I felt the need to go rummaging through
his personal stuff.
so no, it's not cool. at all. as long as you don't hold a double standard (doesnt sound you do)
i would be FURIOUS if my boyfriend went through my things - for no reason.
unless he KNEW I was cheating or something like that.