Two reasons. First, because I want my girlfriend and my children to feel safe and protected and them seeing my crying is not apt to make them feel reassured. Second, with so much turmoil in the world, those people are most virtuous who show regard for their fellows by keeping their own tumult to themselves and do not spread it to others.
In the first case, it so happens that I cried one time - I won't go into the reasons - and my number two son, then 6, happened to see it. It upset and alarmed him. Nothing good can come of that.
Sometimes, I will cry with my girlfriend. (We have lived together for 11 years and have three children. We don't want to be married.) I cried when our children were born - out of happiness. There is something happened in my past the memory of which can still bring me to tears.
In those moments, in the privacy and intimacy of our relationship, I might share that with my girlfriend. She is always kind and understanding and she holds me and makes me feel safe and reassured. I love that in those moments, but because I love her I treat that as a gift and not as something that I should take lightly or routinely.
In that, then, I restrain myself. I love her and don't want to take her love and sympathy for granted by blubbering every time I get sad or worried. One restrains oneself out of respect for those one loves.
As to our children. They are little. They need to learn first a sense of strength and self-control and to avoid the all too pervasive sense of self-pity that absolutely suffuses the culture. Secondly, they worry when those they look to for security, comfort and protection seem vulnerable. There is, then, nothing to be gained by taking that sense of strength and security away from them.
To be sure, sometimes they may see that. Sometimes, in the privacy of one's family, tears of sadness or happiness may flow. However, making that the exception and not the rule should be the rule.
Beyond that, when Calvin Coolidge's son died of blood poisoning he had contracted - of all things - playing tennis on the WH lawn, the President's only words were, "When he was suffering he begged me to help him. I could not." As the columnist George Will has written, these were the words not of a passionless man, but rather of a man who would not parade his grief for public consumption and who would not spread around him the turmoil he felt.
As a general rule, a good lesson there. In the age of social media and populism, when the public is all too apt to place a premium on feeling over thinking, and when the sense of whinny self-pity is all too pervasive, the image of a man mastering his emotions is cathartic. Self-control is a virtue far too seldom practiced.
That is why men - though less and less - hide their tears. To be sure, there are moments when I fail my own standard. However, insofar as I can those moments are private or shared only with the woman I love. Because, in the end, it is all more than just about me.
When I start to cry, people around me start to worry and may end up crying in the process which I wouldn't want them to do! The feeling of your tear drops coming out of your eyes, the emotional pain you feel at that moment and feeling like the world around you falls apart; it's so emotionally unbearable at times that I try to withstand from crying unless I'm at the lowest point of hopelessness and depression. The only people I feel comfortable crying in front of is my girlfriend and my mother because they both have seen me at my worst moments and were so supportive that I couldn't ask for more caring people in my life! To everyone else, I hold it in usually during a funeral or if an intense moment happens, then I let it out alone in a quiet, seclusive place to be left alone and drown in my sorrows until I'm ready to go out and be my normal self again.
I'd imagine most men would hold in tears because they've been raised that way to avoid showing weakness and/or they don't want to trouble others in the process with being emotionally vulnerable. I hope society will change their point of view on this so that men can feel more comfortable exposing their emotions and giving them the chance to be expressive without feeling ostracized for displaying signs of weakness.
As I mentioned on another question about this, of which there seems to be so many today, it's partly because we're just naturally less likely to cry. Most guys aren't going to cry at some mushy movie the way women would, and that's all down to hormones.
It's also partly because much of the time women encourage a guy to open up, and I mean like really encourage it just as with all these questions and comments, and then they run off when he actually does.
They completely contradict all that they've said. Most guys have experienced this at some point and obviously want to avoid that. It's funny because women like those are the main reason why guys don't open up, and they're also often the same women to call men stupid for not doing so.
There's an idiot who mentioned "shmoxic masculinity", but in reality most of the time when guys cry they actually comfort each other I find. We know that we don't cry that often, so when a guy is crying there's probably something seriously wrong. This "not looking weak" thing actually is more a fear of judgement/abandonment from women than from men, and it's usually based on experience.
All the guys in the comments saying crying makes you weak... I'm so sorry you are so insecure that feel like you need to hide your emotions to prove to others and yourself that you are tough. That being said, I have to go on testosterone in a year or so, and while I've been reading up on it and talking to other guys who needed to go on T, I learned that once you are on T, it's harder to produce tears. You still get sad and everything, it just takes longer to actually cry, which I found interesting. And answering your original question, I normally don't cry in front of people because I know I make weird faces and my nose runs a disgusting amount. But if it happens it happens. Everyone needs to cry sometimes. Life is hard and I'm not gonna make it harder on myself by imposing rules about what emotions I'm allowed to feel and show to others
Very simply, in most circumstances, crying would result in a loss of respect - forever - in the eyes of a lot of people. Sure, the death of a loved one or something of similar gravity will be given a pass, but anything less will often be met with stifled laughter and eye-rolling.
Most men will endure just about anything rather than lose that kind of respect.
For wives and girlfriends who have seen their man cry, that shows the depth of his trust and connection with you, because if he didn't trust you deeply, you would never see that.
Showing no emotion means you give the enemy nothing to attack.
Men are often under attack or surrounded by enemies, we are competitive, we have rivals, we have to be defensively responsible at all times. That starts with being able to control your face, control your speech, and control your emotions at least enough to not project any weakness to your enemies.
Because that's the society they grow up in. It puts pressure on them to always seem "strong", which leads to a lot of psychological problems for them. Hence the significantly higher suicide rates in males.
There's actually a very accurate name for all of this, but most guys on GaG throw a temper tantrum whenever they see that term, because in their oh-so "rational" triggeredness they believe it's an attack on their manliness. It rhymes with shmoxic shmasculinity.
Men try 2 hide their tears. Cause men are not suppose 2 cry. They are taught 2 hold it in. Don't show ur weakness. A tear can be a sign of weakness some people think. Others don't realize a tear for some men. Can be a sign of rage about 2 happen. By the way it takes a real 2 cry and show his feelings. Instead of hiding it and holding back.
I don't. Maybe it's the time I grew up in, or how I was raised, but I've never felt compunction about crying in public, and I've never been shamed for it. Not that it happens all the time, but this is a trope I just don't see personally. Maybe all the other guys are just that good at hiding it.
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Anonymous
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Men don't hide their emotions because they want to. They do it because they know they will be judged negatively if they do, by society in general and by women in particular. Women say they want guys to show their emotions because they think they are supposed to say it and because it's is the politically correct thing to do. But women find it awkward and unattractive when men do it. They can say it's OK, and they can even try to tell themselves it is OK, but it's really not. It's really that simple, and it's never going to change. It's just a fact of life.
We just don't cry as often as women do. I think this is a big part in becoming a man. When I was 12 I cried when my goldfish died. I don't think I've cried since then, didn't even cry at my grandfathers funeral. There is just something admirable about a man that can keep it together in any situation, that's one thing in my dad I always looked up to
Because we as men have it ingrained in our minds that crying is a sign of weakness and only certain things permit the shedding of tears.
Crying for other reasons outside of the death of a dog/lover/best friends, nut shot, intense pain, or a sports event for an underdog team winning it all is typically seen as unmanly
To all men that will read my comment! Please cry! Cry wherever you want. Don’t be ashamed of crying. Crying is something natural. It’s the fucking society who has constructed this idea that oh men shouldn’t cry or else they’ll be perceived as weak. Please don’t follow this shitty idea. Personally I think men look way more attractive when they cry and when they show emotions. So cry your eyes out infront if everyone! It’s okay! We’re all humans!
In 2009 the German footballer Robert Enke killed himself. He had had personal issues he didn't talk about in public. Some time later another German footballer, Andreas Biermann, cried in public by talking about his own mental struggles. His career suffered as a result and he killed himself in 2014.
They don't. They just don't have them like you do. Feelings and emotions is a woman's realm. That's not to say men don't have them, but it's just not the same. So, you really want your man breaking down into tears every time you do?
This question reminds me of a Jeff foxworthy bit. Where he says his wife said to him " honey tell me if i start getting fat". And he said " ok honey you tell me if start turning retarded. A guy isn't going to tell a woman she's fat unless he's stupid and he isn't going to cry visibley unless he is also stupid.
We are very often discouraged from it. We were indoctrinated to not show any emotions. ESPECIALLY crying!!! So we hide it away and let it out alone in our man caves. If we don't, we'll become depressed, inactive and/or suicidal instead.
Because we don't want to be called a bitch or be laughed at. Most of the time that's what's gonna happen, especially if you cry in front of people you don't know.
I dont ever feel enough to cry I just get over it by listening to gangster rap. Lately women on here are so obsessed with wanting men to cry and be emotional its weird these are the new penis questions
Men should only cry after losing a love one or in extreme circumstances Any man who is quick to cry has problems Also who likes a weak man? Men should be strong
I have a practical reason.. I hate the after effects of crying. It hurts like hell like migrain level of pain in my head after crying.. so I dont cry..
Most get taught that males doesn't cry. suck it up. toughen up. Not necessarily from the parents, from the environment how others behaves with the same gender or get teased to get in to the line of the majority should be.
cuz they burn when you eat to much salt or cuz the onion makes them water joking but usely guys do this so they dont seen weak in a girls eyes cuz girls want a guy who is strong an doesn't let even pain make him cry
Honestly it is physically difficult for me to cry. I've had pets, good friends, and family members pass and not a single tear. I always feel guilty that I can't cry for loved ones.
Because it's not seen as the masculine thing to do. If you cry in public, then you're seen as a weak little sissy who would back down in a fight, and would be an easy victory.
I don't feel comfortable crying in front of most people, it's also seen by others as a sign of weakness. Personally I advocate for guys to talk more about their emotions with out becoming overly emotional.
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