I feel like I'm always the one asking my guy out...it's confusing?

[Anonymous]

I've been seeing someone for about 2 months and he seems genuinely interested in me, but I feel like out of the 7 or 8 times we have had a date or hung out, it was from me suggesting it and not him. We have very playful texts and he sends me messages to let me know that he is thinking about me but he rarely texts me to ask to see me, but when we are together, he is a total gentleman, pays for dinner, drives us places, and also makes the first moves to kiss and touch me. He told me 3 months ago when we were just friends, he's always been shy, so I think that's why I initiated inviting him over for dinner for our first date. Now that it's been some time, I was kind of hoping he would open up and take initiative. Has he gotten comfortable? Is he just not in to me? or is he just plain shy and I should be more patient with him opening up.? This man is like no man I usually date. I'm used to being pursued. Any advice? Do I just need to chill out?

[Myth024]

I have a tendency to be shy myself and regrettably am constantly afraid to make the first move. Mostly because I usually end up saying something really stupid. Now for me, if something works, don't mess with it. A routine and pattern is predictable and safe. Getting comfortable and feeling safe is more important to shy guys then most other types of guys. I also have a tendency to take things much slower then most other people. I'll let my guard down a little at a time as I get to know someone better and feel I can trust them. I think that for some shy guys, letting the woman take control in some areas relieves them of the pressure of making a horrific mistake that ends the world. I think the most important thing to keep in mind is this; how do you feel when your with him? Is he making you happy? Hugs might be a good way to tell how things are going. The longer the hug, the more he doesn't want to be away from you. You could also try sharing something small with him, maybe something from your childhood that is funny or interesting. Lead by example and it's possible eventually he will start to take a little more control.

Hope this helps. :)

[lovelylife]

That explains a lot. How long does it take for you to get comfortable, were you'll begin to initiate?Also when you like a girl, will you ask her out or does she have to ask you?

[Asker]

Thank you Myth024. What you wrote does help. I do know if he didn't want to hang out or go out with me, he just won't it. I think he's worth being patient with as well. In a recent text conversation it was clear to me that he thinks about me a lot. And he put it out there that he has a lot of free time this week to see a movie with me. He sends the signal like..."whenever you wan to go" type of way. Like he wants me to tell him when I'm free and then he'll jump so I guess I have nothing t

[Asker]

...nothing to worry about. I think I was just worried I liked him more than he likes me, and that may be true, but what I'm really sensing is that he takes relationships really slowly and is feeling me out and kinda testing my interest and loyalty. He's totally worth it though. He's a very good man and that's the kinda man I want to be with so I just have to empower the control he's giving me and just tell him the next time I want to see him- his actions and body language do tell me he's into

[Myth024]

The length of time it takes me to get comfortable depends on the woman. A lot of a shy guys decisions are based on fear. He's afraid that your going to reject him so he will make hints and suggestions to gauge your reaction. You could try treating it like a tennis match. He lobs the ball at you with some hints, then you can lob it back with additional input. In some ways he's giving control over to you and letting you decide if you want to keep it, or give it back.

[Anonymous]

mabye or mabye not he might still like you put not that much or he just likes to sit back and relax. so one day rent a nice movie no chick flick and watch it with him in the comfort of his own home.

[Anonymous]

He's too shy or not ready.