That's kind of true of both men and women. No one likes someone who's desperate to show their interest in you because it comes off as needy. There needs to be pushing and pulling to build and maintain interest. Too much of one and you'll come off as desperate or disinterested.
If a girl seems disinterested in a guy and he was never interested in her, then it won't do anything for him. But if he was already interested in a girl then appearing disinterested will either a) make him lose interest and go for another girl b) make him think about her more but ultimately give up and move on, or c) get him to pursue her until she shows interest and then move on to another girl because he won the challenge.
The flip side of it is if a girl shows interest in a guy and makes an actual effort, then d) he'll get more interested in the girl more than he was e) he might think about the girl, if he wasn't already, and weigh whether he's interested f) he'll lose all interest in a girl because there's no challenge
The problem is girls think that all guys fall into category f if she shows interest, but that's not true. All guys will be one of the six categories depending on whether she shows interest in the guy and how she shows this interest. I imagine girls can be similarly categorized.
For instance, with me if a girl I'm interested in doesn't show interest in me, then I fall into category b, not c. if I'm interested in her and she shows interest, then I'll fall into category d if I wasn't previously interested in her and she makes an impression on me, then category e
The only way I could fall into category f is if she shows me a side of herself that turns me off. And if she becomes disinterested to "try to win me back" then maybe I'd move into category e. Maybe. Depends on how attractive she is.
Only the narcissists and players fall into categories c/f. And if a girl is trying to attract those guys, then she needs to re-examine her life choices.
Well, I hope I’m not the only one but if anything I’m less interested the more she’s uninterested in me. Conversely, the more she’s interested in me and giving positive vibes, then the more I’m interested in her naturally. I understand what that statement is referring to, but I actually don’t believe it applies to the majority of people in reality. I understand that statement to mean the following, “We want what we can’t have,” but perhaps this is an over simplification of this entire ordeal. There’s a mystique and allure with what we feel we can not obtain or what is difficult to obtain, but I think it’s more complicated than that especially when talking about intimacy and dating in the real world. For example, if a man is interested in a woman he finds attractive but she doesn’t feel the same then he can very well still be attracted to her because her physical appearance didn’t change and most men are governed by certain biological inclinations that make them focus on a woman’s physical over everything else. So, this man might still be interested in having sex with this woman despite this woman being uninterested in him. Now, had she been interested in him, then he would’ve been more elated and excited most definitely. On the women’s side, it’s most likely different.
I think they are. Some men can't accept that the woman they're after is not interested in them.. They 'd doubt themselves and that drives them to prove otherwise thereby taking the challenge of chasing you around. They assume that your indifference is your game of playing hard to get and pursuing you gives them thrill of conquering. Some men also wants those that they can't have. They pursue you out of self-fulfillment and satisfaction. But once they have you, the challenge is over, that's when they start stepping back. I'm not stereotyping but it's most likely the case especially if they aren't t really into you or the idea of getting into a serious relationship just yet.
I won't say men are into women completely uninterested, but I also feel like some resilience from the woman makes him want her more, unlike a girl who immediately says yes which can sometimes come off as seeming desperate.
Never play hard to get. But put some value into yourself, have some standards and actually BECOME not-so-easy to get.
I'd like to say that putting value in yourself can also lead to knowing who you want to romance and why, which makes dating make a lot more sense (I assume).
There’s an underlying truth to it for sure. Men love to pursue and chase. They want to work to earn her attention. When she acts uninterested, he has the opportunity to do that. Men want what they can’t have easily.
Pfft. Those are the men, who have no self respect and are desperate for beautiful pussy anyways. We normal men simply walk away and seek someone, who will reciprocate.
In all seriousness though, She can reciprocate but she cannot make herself seem easy. Lower value men might initially like that idea since they don’t get a lot of attention from women, but the minute a woman comes off as easy to obtain, he starts to sense neediness and desperation on her. She can be interested, just not desperate and there’s a very fine line there.
For me there is no such a thing as a clingy woman in those terms. I would love it to have a woman loving me and caring for me. Such a woman is a mans most precious gift.
Imagine he comes home damaged from the battles or a long working day. A caring woman isn't clingy. Such a woman is our source of rejuvenated life. A man not seeing this is going to miss it or either lose what he got used to.
A caring woman mends his wounds, relaxes him and asks him how he's feeling. A man calling this clingy is not valuing his woman or maybe women in general
There’s a difference between caring and clingy. If she’s throwing herself at a man without vetting him first, that’s clingy. If she’s bending over backwards for him without him having to earn her affection first, that’s clingy. A woman can only reciprocate if he’s offering value first.
@MzAsh I usually agree with you, but here I honestly don't. There isn't a single man in the world that will reject a good looking, well presented and educated women just because she said "Hi" first. It depends a lot on how things are done. For example, me and my wife. Yes wife I already got married! =D She actually chased me for a while, but she did it discreetly, not by saying "Nice ass". There is a difference between being desperate and just playing the game. We don't get turned off if girls make the first move as long as we enjoy what follows. I think this is valid for women too. A guy coming to hard will make you flee in the opposite direction.
nope, personally the person who posted that sounds to me like they have had a bad experience with a guy and is judging all guys with the same brush as those who she had experience with... though with that being said, some guys yes... a guy who my first LTR girlfriend went out with who cheated on her, wasn't interested in her until he found out she was in a relationship with me, he did everything he could to get with her even tried to pull the 'try to make me jealous' card so it could effect us on a deeper level.. he lost interest in her the moment he saw his attempts were failing
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
No that's not true, at least not for most adult men, teen guys for some reason sometimes go for girls that are hard to get, but that's probably because they like the chase and it gives them a big ego boost when she gives him attention it makes him feel like he's more special than the other guys. It's the same reason why teen girls like "bad boys". They feel like they are special when he pays attention to her because he is cold and mysterious to most other people. Most people grow out of that phase when they become adults. As an adult male, I don't like women who play games, it shows her immaturity.
All men are different, you can't generalize them all. At least for me though, its cool and different to have a girl come on to me or pursue me, at least in the beginning. At a certain point though, when a girl is pursuing me it starts to feel like unwanted attention and makes me cringe, but mostly this is due to the fact that they are a lot more into me then Im into them and the fact that they're trying so hard can be a turn off. Sounds confusing, but to sum up the point I'm trying to make, when a girl is obviously interested its perfectly fine, but at a certain point it can get weird if they seem TOO interested and it makes me want to run away lmao
I think this is more the case of a woman projecting what she *wishes* men would be like, than what they really are, most probably in order to justify her own behavior.
Most men prefer women who seem very interested, rather than the other way around. There is a caveat, though, women who seem interested in *a number* of guys, those won't be "liked" as much.
I am legit friends with hardley no one because no one shows intrest in me. So lmao wrong. If someone intrested in me why would i be towards them. And people never stick around nor get to know me. So i never do with them and if i tried nothing would happen they just forget me.
When we’re young a lot of us like a little challenge or chase. Then you realize as you mature that people who aren’t interested in you aren’t worth your time, and just because they’re not interested doesn’t mean your undesirable.
Those who figure it out quicker usually have longer, healthier relationships.
I find it's the other way around some woman only want you the moment your taken or when they see you out and about with others they start really showing interest out of nowhere again if a woman acts disinterested with me okay bye was worth a shot on to the next
Depends on the guy remember most are idiots and clueless about anything outside there circle of interest but yes to answer in some cases that is true but not in all just like with any stereotype not everyone in the group will fit the stereotypes just all woman are mean bitches when they time of the month... but not always
No its not true its just perception and it seems that way, works the same way for women too.
I think that it has to do with how we act around people we like. When we dont have the worry of 'do they like me' we come across as more confident and genuine which in turn makes us more attractive.
Yes, and most women also like you when you seem uninterested.
People like to chase things that they cannot have. If a guy or girl liked you, you would find them less attractive because of their initial availability but if you aren't seemingly interested it sparks curiosity and they wonder why doesn't this guy jump over hoops and bend to my every command like other guys and is he a faggot
so uninterested behavior creates a chase and an aura of mystery which is intriguing
Not for me. If a woman seems uninterested than I generally just don't notice. In fact, she would genuinely have to be a little bit more than obviously interested in me in order for me to take any notice of her. This isn't meant in any kind of way to be offensive towards women. It's just me, I really don't get things the first time. Unless you come up to me and tell me face-to-face I will continue to remain ignorant of your feelings towards me.
No, no MAN (Important) likes someone who is uninterested in them that's nonsense, Mystery can be attractive, if you are uncertain whether they like you or not, but don't be afraid to express that you've got feelings, you don't need to play games to get someone to love you.
What I think the author means is that guys find it a turn off when a girl immediately responds to a guy's attention/interest towards her thus making him think she is an easy pray who likes attention. But if she igmores them all, and pulls the "hard to get" card, than the guy will try again and again to get her to notice him and respond to his attention/interest. This law will always hold true.
Girls that are uninterested in me, I keep walking away from them. Been there done that, nothing but a waist of time and fustration chaising girls that are uninterested. Uninterested in me, I'm uninterested in uninterested girls. Uninterested = Uninterested.
I loathe girls playing "hard to get." If they act disinterested, I will not waste any more time on them. Too many quality, genuine people exist, who are willing to be frank about their emotions. Petulent games are best left to middle school.
@Unit1 I never knew girls to flirt with boys at that age. By middle school, puberty had set in for the majority, and the girls played the game, confusing and confounding the boys, while the girls mocked the boys.
This os true, and goes both ways. But only to a degree. Everyone has a "i want what i can't have" streak. But most people are still perfectly capable of wanting something they already have too. You don't need to be unavailable to attract men. At most, it's a useful, occasional tool.
I don't think that's really true. You'd have to have some outstanding quality to want them to chase you if you appear uninterested. There are lots of women out there. Why not just be genuine?
I think she's been rejected once too often for coming forward If I knew a girl was interested in me I would jump at the opportunity More often than not that's not the case and guys crush/suffer in silence so ya she's right technically speaking
I know a lot of women believe this to be true. I can only say for myself it's not true at all. The first sign of disinterest and I'm done completely. She needs to show me lots of interest.
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