I found this to be kind of true but I'm still new to the topic, are there exceptions? Is it true for everyone?
Share your thoughts and experiences!
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+1 y
It's very interesting to see many different opinions here!
And I'm not saying the opposite is true as well, a man can treat his girlfriend/wife like a princess even if his mother was abusive, focus on my core question please xD
And thanks for all the answers ♥️
How a man treats his mother shows how he will treat his woman, agree or disagree?
What if his mother was abusive during his childhood so he doesn’t answer most of her phone calls or doesn’t like spending time with her because he’s in a much happier place as an adult and it feels threatened when she comes around?
Nothing is black and white when it comes to people. Nobody is “simple”. We’re all complex individuals.
My mother is schizophrenic and I didn’t understand what that meant until my late teens. Up till that point I went through a lot of what most would consider abuse. I watched kids get picked up by their loving mothers everyday at school and wished I had that.
My relationship with my mom today is a 7.5/10 at best. Not as great as I wish it would be but I’ve come to terms that I’ll probably never get that motherly love every boy needs from his mother. Most of the time when I spend time with her it’s chaotic. So I limit that time.
But if you think that defines how I treat “my” woman you’re wrong. I’m the total opposite with lovers. I actually had to learn how to pick out “good” women because I used to attract a lot of toxic women. I promised myself I’d marry a woman who’d be the mother I wish I had with our children and it’s my dream to be a great husband/father.
Quotes likes these are very ignorant. Not everyone has the same story. How can you give them all the same conclusion?
There's some truth to this. A man wants to recreate his relationship with his mother in childhood, as an adult with a woman (+sex). Even if the relationship was abusive.
But on the other hand, as an adult, a man needs to detach from his mother and father and create his own relationship, that should evolve constantly and ultimately reach a better state in some way. You need to grow as aperson and the best way to do it is theough your relationships.
The grown relationship can turn out to be opposite to the one he had with his mother, but it doesn't have to be. Something has to be added, discovered.
Or else, why have a relationship at all if not to try and create something better than you are used to. The woman will still be a different person. No woman will be exactly like the mother. So if he will respect her desires, a change is guaranteed.
Somewhat agree. I believe that it's a big reflection as a man's mother is his first solid male-female relationship that he has, and for most should be his closest. But I know and have seen abusive and neglectful mothering, but have come to know core loving and respectful men. I feel if the man's mother is absent in his life, a better indication is to see how he treats others and the people in his life as a whole, if he treats them with kindness and respect, in turn he'll more than likely do the same with his woman.
Generally. I mean, I knew a guy whose mother was pretty much a piece of shit, and I don't blame him for hating her.
I think it's more accurate to say that a guy who treats other people in general with dignity and respect is likely to treat his partner the same way. One that doesn't, probably won't.
I also have to disagree. I was raised well, to respect my elders, say please and thank you... else I'd be spanked. (Not that I mind it these days 😂) Though I love my mum and dad. I don't have a great relationship with them. I joined the army and moved away, I didn't keep in touch because 1) I didn't want them to worry about what I was doing and where I was deployed. 2) I believed it was the right thing to do at the time. I've left the forces and now speak to my parents again, but it's not like a parent son relationship. We are not close. We send cards for birthdays and Christmas, we message once a month to check in but that's it.
On the other hand. I am the same respectful gentleman that my mum raised me to be. Any partner is treated like a princess and I'd not dare to raise a hand. I'd rather break it than strike a woman. I cook and share the chores as well as work full time and pay for any partners " Treats "(hair, nails etc).
Sometimes mothers can be toxic. If I’m over at a guys house and the mother is yelling over everything or needs constant attention despite me being a guest in their home then I would understand slight visible annoyance. Same thing if they’re an addict or have another addiction like hoarding. Those kind of chronically toxic people don’t deserve violence but they have not earned respect.
One time a guy’s mom was kind and gracious and left us alone. She went downstairs just to ask us if we wanted dinner and the guy got all huffy and rude. That was a turn off.
Not really. My mother was abusive so I'm not particularly inclined to interact with her. My step mother was absolutely the least nurturing person I know, again, the way I treat her (not bad mind you just not particularly affectionate) is not the way I treat my girlfriends (whom I'm probably "overly" affectionate with because I lacked that in my childhood (complete cuddle whore, literally cuddle all the time. My ex was convinced I loved cuddling more then sex (I don't know if I would go that far, but its probably on par)).
Absolutely disagree from experience. I think it can however give you some insight into them as a person or your future with them. My dad was a great son and provided for my grandmother until the day she died. But it was always clear to me at any age that my mom and my sister and I were his priorities. If we needed something, we would receive it rather than go without because his mother needed something. But he actually worked hard all his life so no one needed anything. But my late husband was a classic mommas boy. She was in control and he did things for her more out of obligation than love. So even if the kids and I were in need, she came first which I’m sorry in my opinion, you choose to have make a family that family takes importance over the one you were born in.
I have to disagree. you have some mother who treat there children like crap all the way through there adulthood and once as they are grown. a mom will try to hide under the covering she is your mom and she can do no wrong... THATS FALSE... my mom treated me like crap in my adulthood and still does. but the women I choose to be in a relationship with. i am not going to let how my mom treated me effect how I see my future mate. and I will share with my future mate and tell her my mom treat me like SH## and dirt on her shoes. she is not supportive or caring and always criticize anything I do and doesn't show the same love she gives to my other brother and sister.. it's hard but I won't let it effect me and my future mate. some mother's raise there daughter and do a poor job of raising there sons
I disagree with that theory for the following reason. I was born into some very dire circumstances, one of which was my disability, the other being my dysfunctional, uneducated, violent parents. As a child I was brutalised by both parnts, my mother was much worse of the two, I was sometimes neglected and tortured too. I was raised in a loveless home where I was always living in fear. I still sometimes have scary flashbacks. I have nothing but hate for my mother, I have long since severed my ties with her, I will never make amends with her. However in my relationships with other women, I have never been violent to them, nor have I been oppressive to them; though I have had arguments with some women where I have insulted them. Hence why I disagree with your theory that the way a man treats his mother is a good measure of how he will treat his girlfriend/wife
Not true. I’m a very affectionate lover. I rarely if ever talk to my mother since she used to beat the shit out of me daily and scream bloody murder and starve us.
So no, not true lol. My mother fucked me up and fucked my life up. She doesn’t deserve my love.
Not necessarily, we don't know what his mother is like. But how he treats people in general, yes. Of course when you are in love it's all rainbow and sparkles but you can't stay *in love* forever. Butterflies will eventually fade away, which is normal and it doesn't mean you love the person less, it's just different kind of love where you start being aware of the flaws and it can be tough. So many people, not just men, will be great in honeymoon phase, but once that is gone they'll be back to their normal self, and if his normal self is shitty, you're screwed.
I beg to differ. I have a good friend whose mom is very unfair to him and biased against him. My friend is literally a good man in general. He distanced himself from his mom and seems to no longer want communication with her though he always prays for her well being. On the other hand, he treats his wife & children extremely well. They consider him a hero in their lives.
Some guys are super affectionate with their mothers, but cold toward their lovers. Some men have terrible relationships with their mothers and treat their women special. Some guys treat both special. Every guy is going to be different.
Women need to stop believing that crap and Steve Harvey needs to stop selling it.
Not always. My father was affectionate and was raised as a ''yes mom'' generation. Yet, he still treated my mother awful at times. He hit my mother in the past during arguments.
It just depends on both how you're raised and your own personality.
For the most part this is very true. There are exceptions of course. Some Mothers don't deserve Respect and Love from their Children and sometimes a Man may treat his Mom like a Queen and turn around treat his Woman like Shit... But more often than not this statement is true!!!
Not really. His mom is different than his partner. A man can treat hid mom good, but think any other woman 8s just for sex, or there mother is a bitch and he hates her, but he treats other woman good. I can see it as an insight, but I'm not gonna rely on it.
My mother (died yesterday) always told me to act as if she was watching me from over my shoulder. I haven't always lived up to her standards but I've always tried. I've messed up things with good women because of my attitude and behaviors in the past well enough to know to leave the attitude and bad behavior out of my life and relationships
Yes, yes, yes! Grew up in such a household to know. Anyone who says no, never experienced it and I pray they don't. If you see a bad reaction from somebody your dating, get out before you do something to get them upset and they treat you the same way.
that's just it i grew up in an abusive household where i was abused by mother physically and mentally emotionally and verbally almost everyday and the physical abuse was really bad. so there are exceptions to this rule there always are. so if this saying is true then how a woman treats her father will be how she treats her husband same rules apply if you don't allow exceptions
Usually yes. But in truth, it's how the parents treat their children and raise them. mostly. But some people are just like that. If you fail to see that then the main issue is getting counseling so you won't pick up those kinds of people or attract them.
Not even close. At least not for me. I'm not going to give a long life story but all I can say is that my mother is abysmal. My dad left her because of that and soon I'm able to go live with him. I honestly cannot stand that woman, also the reason my father moved out. I've had relationships and I do not treat my girlfriend anywhere near the way I treat my horrid mother.
Think of it this way, if a boy see his mom as his angel but his whiney, angry wife is a monster or a needle in his eyes then yeah...
This involves in-law relationship problems. Sometimes husband and wives have difficulties in satisfying their elders due to stress, circumstances, financial status and kids' future. Or even just divorces. It's a problem and it's conflictive.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
Completely disagree. This is coming from an asinine and very false assumption that all mothers are good. Not true. Not true at all.
I was raised by a neurotic, emotional abusive and sometimes physically abusive mother. She has never apologized for ANYTHING she has done to me. But my dad apologized when I was 25 for beating me as a kid. Truth is I never had any grudge against him. I know he wasn’t the type to enjoy cruelty. Also being a man I intuitively understood why he got angry.
My mom on the other hand is a different story. She believe that the commandment “honor your father and mother” is all she needed to say and do whatever she wanted.
3 years ago my dad moved into my place for 2 weeks after a real bad fight for my mom. He let it slip that she once hit him over the head with a mag light flashlight.
After hearing that I have never spoken directly to my mother again. Does that make me a “bad guy” to women I’m dating?
Disagree. It depends on the mother. Mine sexually abused me then abandoned me at age 3. The grandmother that raised me was emotionally abusive for 30 years until I finally stood up for myself. Im respectful... but I think how a man treats strangers, children, and a waitress shows more. A guy should be judged by how he treats the girl
Not necessarily. My mother spent her life running away from me and her responsibilities, leaving me to chase her in tears. Thankfully, none of my girlfriends did this to me.
Reasearch shows that men look for the opposite of their mothers if they are on bad terms and same if theyre on good terms. As opposed to women. In other words if theyre on bad terms chances are the way he treats her is opposite of the way he will treat his woman, assuming he treats her bad based on the bad terms theyre on.
I disagree. Everyone is different and dont abide by the same stereotypes. I think a mans childhood and early adult friends have more influence then how they treat there mother. On top of that, I am a perfect example of how wrong this is. My early years I was a manwhore.
I have to disagree kind of. As some people said here, it depends more on what he treats EVERYONE like, so it's only accurate to an extent because a mother is part of that "everyone". You should actually look at how he gets (and got) treated by everyone before judging based on what he does now, there is often a story to be heard.
Well.. my mom ain't hoeing around so yeah imma treat my mother different than a lot of girls who are around me but when there are quality women around I will treat them with the respect they deserve ya feel? Like y'all girls gotta work for this respect besides the basic human respect of meeting a stranger
One time I heard of a guy in my country who was dating a girl. Around him she was always pleasant, kind, and affectionate. Then one day he paid her an unexpected visit at home and found her treating her mother shabbily. It was an instant dealbreaker for him.
True for most men I've been with. One in particular showed it's not always the case. He was lovely, always helping his mum out with shopping, looking after his siblings, assembling furniture etc. But he treated me like dirt.
Not really true. He learned coping skills and expectations when dealing with women from his mother, but most people are able to adapt to a new personalities and adjust their expectations when "real life" gets in the way.
Yes, I agree. A boy's first female role model is his mother. She endured at a minimum delivering and raising him to adulthood, despite ALL hardships. In addition, most mothers ALWAYS love their son NO MATTER WHAT and will SACRIFICE THEMSELF for their son!
So, why shouldn't a son owe a debt of respect and gratitude to his mother? Why shouldn't a son treat his mother as the Queen that she is?
If a man loves a woman then he should and will treat her as he treats/treated his mother.
I don't think so. I treat my mother with love and respect, but to me, my girlfriend is the most important person in my life. If I could remember to eat on my own I would have minimal contact with my parents. In fact my inability to remember to eat is why I still live with my parents.
Nah i don't find this to. be true reguardless of how much we love or hate our moms the love is always there it's the women who held as for 9 months and took care of us as newborns... But when another woman comes around she's nothing like that bond the mother created so. i highly doubt that can be seen as the same either ur a good person or your not
I dont think so, I know many guys that are a mama boys etc but when it comes to dating women they are aweful and sexist. I would say they copy the dad how he treats his wife
Usually. If he has “bad mommy” issues he’ll likely treat his woman likes she’s the devil too. My rule of thumb is is avoid men who don’t get along with true parents.
This is often true, but I have also seen where a guy treats his mother great, so great, that he takes his mother's side whenever there is a disagreement between his wife and his mother.
It truly depends, but in my cause I'll use myself as an example. I've had some trouble with my mom, nothing too serious but enough for me to move to my father. However my point is that I never treated women any worse, if anything it made me realise that they are more important than we realise. As I have come in my feud with my mother, I do have a bad relation to her, but I don't treat her bad, nor do I treat women badly.
I think a better way to put this is if he treats his girl like a princess then he was raised by a queen 😊
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
Yeah but I didn’t quite agree with how my mom and dad lived as a married couple. My mom and I don’t see eye to eye on many things and I think that’s just human nature amongst children and their parents. Doesn’t mean I don’t care about them I’ll help them regardless and as they get older I should take care of them.
I think it's TRUE. Based on how my boyfriend treats me, I know he treated his mother like a queen. Even his sister he holds in high regard and that's one of the things I love about him
Yes can be true. A guy i used to know treated his mom like shit and used her for everything. He ended up doing the same thing to his wife. He was such a peace of shit
I treat my mother with respect. she's getting old. When she comes to visit me I treat her well. I get things for her. I even cut her toe nails for her. I mean look how many diapers she's changed on me when I was a kid.
I'm fairly sure that there is an exception somewhere, but if a guy treats all people including his parents with respect, odds improve that he will maintain this behavior throughout his life.
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