How to tell my mom she's pushing everyone away?

[Anonymous]

No one likes being around my mom because she is extremley negative and controlling. (my brother moved away and won't talk to her) I usually just walk away or go to my room etc. But I feel like I should be there for her, because no one else is. But she is extremley passive about what it is she wants. I'll give an example of last night.. We were watching a movie that she went out and bought because I recommended it, she didn't like the movie and started getting angry at me for having her buy it. When she left the room I put on a movie we would both like, but started the 3D version, when she got back she started to complain about it being in 3D and I told I was just testing it out. She then said "Fine I'll go on your computer!" and ran to my room. (Her computer is broken) I honestly don't mind her using my computer (which I paid for myself with money from my job) but I can't stand how she acts like a child. I didn't let her use my computer and instead I just went to my room, (with out slamming the door), I know that doesn't help, that is passive agressive as well.. I try so hard to be calm and understanding, I even try spending quality time with her like cooking together or long talks or give attention to her collections (she's a bit of a "hoarder") I'll say things like "ooo what's that?" "where'd you get it?" she could spend hours talking about her collections(fossils, jewlery, stones, figurines, antiques, etc.) I don't think her problems are with me but with her relationship with my dad and things from her past. I love my mom but how do I deal with her not saying what she wants? Leave? tell her its not OK to do that? Sometimes I think I'll leave but never come back, that example I gave was extremley minor.. there's times where she's attacked me, or destroyed my property. I refuse to get police involved, I am an adult (18) so I can leave.. forever... But I rather work it out because I can't afford to move out and I do love her. How do I tell her and in a way that she can't agrue back? Or say "If you don't like it move out!". I just want peace in the house, That shouldn't be asking for too much.

[evilred23]

sounds like she really is going through alot, although so are you. but I think she needs you more than you realize it. don't be afraid to speak out about it, specially to someone you can trust ( referring to aggressive/ or physical aggression from her) . But.. I think she just needs someone to be there for her, to really listen. maybe take what you have written here as a guideline to what you need to say to her. write her a letter.. using all this, don't forget to tell her how much you love her, and support her. it will be important to know she has you in her life, but she also needs hear what you feeling,as she is just as important in your life. try use the letter as base for communication between you two, maybe from get her to seek help, you can get a family member, or even someone you trust to help her to go too. she needs to first accept her past regret and embrace tomorrow openly, or she may lose everyone who really cares for her (you) .. although you say you are legally a adult, you still are very much a child, shouldn't have to consider these things. it is very important that yo and your mother have a strong relationship because I no doubt you will need her in your life ahead. stay strong, don't give up.

[Anonymous]

Just love her and be sweet to her, karma will reawrd you:)