Why do most guys not put effort into their appearance?

[Flower7]

I keep seeing guys on here complain that women don't find them attractive. But it seems like they're not even trying to look their best. Why is that?

[Thomas__Shelby]

A majority of the answers you will get on here are going to be from guys who are have little to no experience dating and are likely just as incompetent in such endeavors.

This site, GAG has three kinds of people:

Those who are inexperienced and want advice in dating

... those who won’t take any and are too stubborn to improve themselves (they tend to complain a lot about the opposite gender),

... and those who are experienced and want to give advice.

Most of GAG’s populace (especially on the male portion) fall into the second group.

They don’t put effort because they don’t care enough about getting a girl, that or they have the misguided mindset that the right girl will accept them for who they are, no matter how ugly they are inside or out.

They don’t realize that small steps are required to self improvement, and many are so socially incompetent with women, even if they did look good it would hardly help them at all.

[Anonymous]

They don't relate to those efforts as things that make them attractive. They act how they want to see women act: No or limited makeup, casual clothes, just be fun to be around, low maint, not fat, etc. They don't intuitively feel that the efforts you feel they should go it are attractive things to them so it goes by the wayside.

Women have a mirrored behaviour but it just relates to different things. They emphasize things in the realm of career, education, being sexually experienced, status, etc. You can see a lot of women on here who will ask questions like "why can't I find a guy" and then preface the question with "I'm a smart and capable woman, I have a degree and a good career, etc, etc." The fact is that they just focusing on shit guys don't care about. But guys don't really care about that stuff in the same way. They only care about having those things it insofar as women care about it -- out of a need to appeal to women.

[Stockton]

I do believe that men try to look their best. The thing is we do not have the training that women do. Ever since you were small you have been taught what looks good and what doesn't. As little boys and into adulthood we are told that if we show any interest in that then we are not real men. So when it becomes appearent that women like a guy to look good we set out on a mission to solve that problem. Do you see the issue now we need to solve a problem that's not a problem and one that doesn't need to be solved that's why you can always tell a guy who is single compared to a guy who is in a relationship. Just a short answer hope it helps

[Bandit74]

I try not to look like a complete slob, but I don't put in a ton of effort.

Why?
I don't feel like it would make a big enough difference to be worth the extra effort/money. It's not like by getting fancier clothes or cutting my hair differently I am suddenly going to have girls throwing themselves at me. From my perspective the traits that separate the guys that women lust after and the ones who are invisible are usually things you can't change ie height, facial structure, skeletal structure and hair density.

A guy who is under 6ft, with a mediocre face and a receeding hairline is never be a girls top choice no matter how much money he spends on his clothes, haircuts, etc.

And a guy who is tall with an attractive face and a full head of hair will have a line of girls waiting fuck his brains out even if he dresses like a slob and has unstyled hair.

[ecfresh]

We grew up our whole lives being told it’s what’s on the inside that counts. Over and over again women (even on GaG) say personality is what matters, so physical appearance doesn’t matter. Hearing that story it’s one reason guys don’t pay attention to fashion and focus more on being a good person

[cetm_]

Prolly because low confidence, maybe because beauty steriotypes automatically disqualify many guys even at their best because is not enough of maybe because the whole dating and social approach puts so much pressure over some guys that stay foggy in appearance is the extension of the anxiety...

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I think guys and even like myself we get into a gutter
where we can care less about what we wear , we keep
our hygiene clean and wear clean clothes but just warm ups
i don't like jeans or pants and i wear Athletic shorts 24/7
so who knows maybe i would put a little more in if i found
a girlfriend , we are all depress and broken mentally.

[linds34]

A lot of guys are taught that it's not manly to care about your appearance, wear fashionable clothes etc.

[Flower7]

Do you think they should care about their appearance more?

[winterfox10]

Many guys figure that it's highly unlikely that any woman would be interested in them, even if they did put in effort. Just to be real with you, dealing with women is really depressing most of the time... you have a major uphill battle with this stuff

[Dolemite510]

I’ve found it’s an such arbitrary line with women and each of their individual preferences of men’s looks that guys should not care what women think and do what they want instead. If you put in too much effort it comes off as cocky or douchey and if you don’t put in enough effort your a loser lol

[Jjpayne]

It's a fair question. I'd say at this point not enough resources or reason... I'm kind of a hermit crab at the moment...

[Fitgamer27]

I put effort in and feel like I look great. Still no woman for me. So.

[Thomas__Shelby]

Yeah show off that armpit hair

[Fitgamer27]

Hell yes I will.

[Kinogo]

some might be trying but then again, not much fashion choice shops give for men?

[ronaldo75]

Because women today look like shit. That's why. If you won't put effort into looking good OR if you think being "cute" is slathering on a pound of makeup then why should I make an effort?

[COMMODOREII]

I hope i look presentable. Im usually trying to look good.

[jointhemiles]

We don't want to get influenced or attracted because of external factors

[Anonymous]

Wearing lifts only get you rejected and laughed at.

[Shy_Steve]

We do not want to look too femine or gay.

[soleil2666]

They are told to be themselves.

[Flower7]

By who?

[Thomas__Shelby]

Themselves lmao

[soleil2666]

@Thomas__Shelby Doesn't all popular (so, American movies and psychology) advice tell you to (just) be yourself and just do it (and all that 'look how rich we are by selling' shit)?

[Thomas__Shelby]

They are explicitly telling us to be ourselves yes (to make us feel better of course), but are implicitly telling us that you need to dress well (look good), and adhere to certain “machismo” behaviors if you want to get girls.

I also don’t know what you mean by ‘look how rich we are by selling’.

[soleil2666]

@Thomas__Shelby Oh, and the wisdom of American (Latino) machismo - pure wisdom. Created by an IQ of say - 12? Very smart - if your mental age is 6. Amazing, even.

[Thomas__Shelby]

I don’t know what you’re on about mate

[soleil2666]

@Thomas__Shelby America admires itself for being rich - and being rich by selling shit to people. Shit those people don't even need.
Machismo is plain idiotic. Only Latinos from the ghettos are macho, or into it.
How hard are those two simple statements to understand?

[Plitty-Tank]

Men are more in tune with nature, unlike women.

[manmeat]

biology men attracted by looks women by status

[Flower7]

No, women like looks too. Trust me.

[manmeat]

ok what do u look for in looks on men?

[manmeat]

whats your thoughts on this post then

Are woman not biologically designed to date people for appearance? ↗

[Flower7]

I like guys who are clean-cut. (No long hair and not much facial hair). I like them to be in shape, not overweight, preferably with some muscles. I like him to dress neatly, not too much baggy clothes. I like him to dress a bit conservatively. I also want him to be taller than me. And I like an attractive face.

[Flower7]

As for that post, I would still notice whether a guy was attractive or not, no matter how long I had been with him. I would never become immune to his good looks.