it will never happen he verbally abused you to help raise his self esteem by slapping him. You not only bruised him physically but also bruised his ego. And the only way he knows to make himself feel better is to make you feel worse. you said you don't like being aggressive so why stay. YOU WOULDN'T SIT IN THE MIDDLE OF A FIREPLACE AND COMPLAIN ABOUT GETTING BURNED WOULD YOU?
All I can say is that WTF. I like your guts that you still want to marry the guy. After taking that slap if he marries you then he is a disgrace for being a man.
4
0 Reply
Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
he had it coming... but neway... as he felt disrespected because of wht you did he shud also understand that we he was doing disrespected u... he can't shout in public and say "hey you are not a virgin!"...as if it matters neway! you were not born on this earth gift wrapped for him to "take your virginity"...god!
just say sorry but explain your side too.guys have this thing.when they feel they have apoint against you they will glue themselves to it and forget all about what they did.
Sometimes men deserve it but for that, he did not...I could see if you truly loved him and then he cheated on you with your sister or best friend...Or really said some messed up sh*t...but be careful cus I know a lot of guys that will slap you back and them dump you on top of that... So next time be wiser about the situation...
I don't really think your relationship is going to last anyways. It sounds like both of you have way too many issues
5
0 Reply
Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
is he religious because he wants you to be a virgin? I mean, I get really mad at my husband for not being a virgin before me but I wouldn't say it in front of his boss. I feel like he should try to understand you more and your feelings, and then go from there. Then hopefully after that, you guys both try hard to understand each other more. Good luck
yes he is somewhat religious. the thing is, he had accepted everything about me way before he even got involved with me to begin with. then I gained some weight, skin went really bad, and so he would just pick on everything and emotionally&verbally abuse me. that has stopped and its been a couple months now thank god. he realized he should not have done it that way to get what he wants. well he stopped now that I have lost weight! anyway, I'm not 100% over that but I have found it in my heart to
forgive him and forget it and just move on with the relationship forward rather than backward. I do get scared and hesitate it he does it again one day, even a little bit but realistically I know he's way passed that stage. anyway this fight was my throw to begin with and he's still a little cold towards me as we speak. by the way we don't live in the same town, I just got back from seeing him (I see him once a month for usually 7-10 days.). last night he admitted he was actually happy I was leavin
because of this incident. he said he doesn't know if he can get over it, and he doesn't know if he can find it in his heart to love me the same way. and that hurts, because I do love him very much. sometimes I think I do love him more than he loves me in a way. he hurt me so much and made me pretend like nothing happened and we would still talk and act the same with each other, and now that I have slapped him its like its the end of the world. I should not have done that and I'm not proud of it but
its not as bad as the way he hurt me for a long time. and his boss was not standing in front of us she was about 8 metres away watching us but I know she heard since we were both very loud, and there was an echo in the plaza.
apologize and let him know that you will not cause another fight in public anymore. Tell him you will not hit him in public anymore. Those kinds of things, shouldn't happen between you guys in public. After that, help him to understand your hidden feelings about how he treats you bad and what you want to have change. Ask him if love is forever with him, for him to forgive you and move on. Good luck
well he has changed that's why he is angry and upset with me, is because he tried to keep me happy during those 10 days and I picked on some things and burst out in the worst way possible. I gave him a sincere apology, many times, and also said I wouldnot ever do what I did in public to him, or even in private. but he says he doesn't trust my word and he's just going to have to wait and see.
It does not sound like he loves you if he says those things to you and maybe you should get some pre marriage councelling if you really want to be with each other for the rest of your lives? There are some things you can not get over with ease and these may include verbal, mental, emotional and physical abuse.
he does not say those things to me anymore, but he used to. and we are passed that now, however sometimes I still have this little fear of it happening again you know?
@question asker, He will forever fear that you will hit him, and disrespect him again, as well. Just as you fear he will be mean to you. Trust is easy to break, but difficult to build.
what I did was no excuse for anything. I'm not proud of it. I did apologize many times, and I ment it. I'm giving him his space to think it over and feel like he does matter to me. its just when there was a time he was hurting me, for a long period of time, I still had to act like nothing happened and get over it. but now its the other way around except it was just one day and one incident, and he's reacting to it worse than my reaction to the way he hurt me in the past.
I think reacting that way would just make her seem more dangerous than if she had thought about it. I mean, you accidently kill someone, you can't just undo that. I'm exaggerating, but I think you see the point.
And you're forgetting that most people don't see how they are hurting others, but they clearly feel the pain inflicted on them.
you're not admitting you have a problem, and are thus blaming him for your "agressive"(abusive) behavior. you obviously still resent him for what he did to you.
so go to couples counseling...it seems long overdue.
You guys are on a bit of an even plane now - he's working on himself and your getting a touch erratic. That's fine, you guys are on level. You both just need to work on it all. He'll come round in time, as will you. Good luck =]
I wish you would put an update on here. I think he treated you like crap. I hoped you left him. He is clearly verbally abusive to you. I'm glad you slapped him. Now stay away.
Guys are way stronger so if a man hit her he'd probably send her to the floor, or out the window lol...while if a girl hits a guy she's not doing any damage unless its his ego...
Wow this thread is depressing. The number of women who condone spousal abuse is truly frightening. If a man hit you, you'd not tolerate, yet you really believe its OK for you to hit him? This double standard is sickening.
I would never be with a woman who would disrespect me like that, any guy who tolerates that kind of behavior has no self respect. When did all the women become so violent and self-centered?
-If you are desperate to make him trust you or love you as he did before, maybe show this question to him to show you how you feel about it and how serious you are about not letting it happen again.
-And maybe it was your way of dealing with the way he treated you all that time
If I'm being honest I don't think either of you have acted more worse than the other so talking about it may help
1
0 Reply
Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
If you were my girlfriend, I would've slapped you back immediately. No offense.
Actually, you can hit girls, if they strike you first. Haven't you ever seen Father Goose, with Cary Grant? She slapped him, he slapped her back, then they got married. Hitting back gets it out of your system, so you can move on, lol. :)
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
27Opinion
it will never happen he verbally abused you to help raise his self esteem by slapping him. You not only bruised him physically but also bruised his ego. And the only way he knows to make himself feel better is to make you feel worse. you said you don't like being aggressive so why stay. YOU WOULDN'T SIT IN THE MIDDLE OF A FIREPLACE AND COMPLAIN ABOUT GETTING BURNED WOULD YOU?
All I can say is that WTF. I like your guts that you still want to marry the guy. After taking that slap if he marries you then he is a disgrace for being a man.
he had it coming... but neway... as he felt disrespected because of wht you did he shud also understand that we he was doing disrespected u... he can't shout in public and say "hey you are not a virgin!"...as if it matters neway! you were not born on this earth gift wrapped for him to "take your virginity"...god!
just say sorry but explain your side too.guys have this thing.when they feel they have apoint against you they will glue themselves to it and forget all about what they did.
so when a girl nags I have the right to slap her good to know
i didn't know you were haunting sites to get confirmation on whether you can slap girls or not. how manly and admirable...
hmmm. I think your answer tells a lot more about you than it does about "guys."
That was a bit sexist.
Sometimes men deserve it but for that, he did not...I could see if you truly loved him and then he cheated on you with your sister or best friend...Or really said some messed up sh*t...but be careful cus I know a lot of guys that will slap you back and them dump you on top of that... So next time be wiser about the situation...
I don't really think your relationship is going to last anyways. It sounds like both of you have way too many issues
is he religious because he wants you to be a virgin? I mean, I get really mad at my husband for not being a virgin before me but I wouldn't say it in front of his boss. I feel like he should try to understand you more and your feelings, and then go from there. Then hopefully after that, you guys both try hard to understand each other more. Good luck
yes he is somewhat religious. the thing is, he had accepted everything about me way before he even got involved with me to begin with. then I gained some weight, skin went really bad, and so he would just pick on everything and emotionally&verbally abuse me. that has stopped and its been a couple months now thank god. he realized he should not have done it that way to get what he wants. well he stopped now that I have lost weight! anyway, I'm not 100% over that but I have found it in my heart to
forgive him and forget it and just move on with the relationship forward rather than backward. I do get scared and hesitate it he does it again one day, even a little bit but realistically I know he's way passed that stage. anyway this fight was my throw to begin with and he's still a little cold towards me as we speak. by the way we don't live in the same town, I just got back from seeing him (I see him once a month for usually 7-10 days.). last night he admitted he was actually happy I was leavin
because of this incident. he said he doesn't know if he can get over it, and he doesn't know if he can find it in his heart to love me the same way. and that hurts, because I do love him very much. sometimes I think I do love him more than he loves me in a way. he hurt me so much and made me pretend like nothing happened and we would still talk and act the same with each other, and now that I have slapped him its like its the end of the world. I should not have done that and I'm not proud of it but
its not as bad as the way he hurt me for a long time. and his boss was not standing in front of us she was about 8 metres away watching us but I know she heard since we were both very loud, and there was an echo in the plaza.
apologize and let him know that you will not cause another fight in public anymore. Tell him you will not hit him in public anymore. Those kinds of things, shouldn't happen between you guys in public. After that, help him to understand your hidden feelings about how he treats you bad and what you want to have change. Ask him if love is forever with him, for him to forgive you and move on. Good luck
well he has changed that's why he is angry and upset with me, is because he tried to keep me happy during those 10 days and I picked on some things and burst out in the worst way possible. I gave him a sincere apology, many times, and also said I wouldnot ever do what I did in public to him, or even in private. but he says he doesn't trust my word and he's just going to have to wait and see.
It does not sound like he loves you if he says those things to you and maybe you should get some pre marriage councelling if you really want to be with each other for the rest of your lives? There are some things you can not get over with ease and these may include verbal, mental, emotional and physical abuse.
he does not say those things to me anymore, but he used to. and we are passed that now, however sometimes I still have this little fear of it happening again you know?
@question asker, He will forever fear that you will hit him, and disrespect him again, as well. Just as you fear he will be mean to you. Trust is easy to break, but difficult to build.
Wtf? Your trippin how is girls slapping guys such a big deal? Your fine, he should stop being a wimp lol
i agree wholeheartedly...
I so agree
Apologize profusely. Make sure he knows you slipped and reacted without thinking. You got offended, but that doesn't mean what you did was okay.
what I did was no excuse for anything. I'm not proud of it. I did apologize many times, and I ment it. I'm giving him his space to think it over and feel like he does matter to me. its just when there was a time he was hurting me, for a long period of time, I still had to act like nothing happened and get over it. but now its the other way around except it was just one day and one incident, and he's reacting to it worse than my reaction to the way he hurt me in the past.
I think reacting that way would just make her seem more dangerous than if she had thought about it. I mean, you accidently kill someone, you can't just undo that. I'm exaggerating, but I think you see the point.
And you're forgetting that most people don't see how they are hurting others, but they clearly feel the pain inflicted on them.
by getting help.
you're not admitting you have a problem, and are thus blaming him for your "agressive"(abusive) behavior. you obviously still resent him for what he did to you.
so go to couples counseling...it seems long overdue.
You guys are on a bit of an even plane now - he's working on himself and your getting a touch erratic. That's fine, you guys are on level. You both just need to work on it all. He'll come round in time, as will you. Good luck =]
I wish you would put an update on here. I think he treated you like crap. I hoped you left him. He is clearly verbally abusive to you. I'm glad you slapped him. Now stay away.
If he hit you how would you react?
Worse than him probably
lmao...ddduuhh. because men aren't suppose to hit women... BUT women have total right to do so though :).
Na mister LoveToxD, that's a pretty f***ed up idea, go get some more life experience.
Guys are way stronger so if a man hit her he'd probably send her to the floor, or out the window lol...while if a girl hits a guy she's not doing any damage unless its his ego...
Still it doesn't make it right, no force is needed
lilwhimpy... you don't understand a sarcastic joke wen you see one.
let him get over it already...he shouldn't say things he thinks he can get away with.
Wow this thread is depressing. The number of women who condone spousal abuse is truly frightening. If a man hit you, you'd not tolerate, yet you really believe its OK for you to hit him? This double standard is sickening.
I would never be with a woman who would disrespect me like that, any guy who tolerates that kind of behavior has no self respect. When did all the women become so violent and self-centered?
I agree with Zenspace, it's wrong both ways, when did women become more equal than men?
why did you slap him if he was telling the truth? or are you a virgin?
He had it coming. Everyone who witnessed it agrees, trust me.
Just because he said she's not a virgin anymore... meh, I have my doubts.
Considering it is not really that big of a deal.
It's not his place to say.
hitting people is wrong, especially in public in front of their friends and boss. He messed up, but she over-reacted to it.
you don't need someone who puts you down! the one you marry should LIFT YOU UP!
EXACTLY
-If you are desperate to make him trust you or love you as he did before, maybe show this question to him to show you how you feel about it and how serious you are about not letting it happen again.
-And maybe it was your way of dealing with the way he treated you all that time
If I'm being honest I don't think either of you have acted more worse than the other so talking about it may help
If you were my girlfriend, I would've slapped you back immediately. No offense.
and your an a**, you don't hit girls you jerk.
Actually, you can hit girls, if they strike you first. Haven't you ever seen Father Goose, with Cary Grant? She slapped him, he slapped her back, then they got married. Hitting back gets it out of your system, so you can move on, lol. :)
lmfao "you don't hit girls you jerk" how about you don't hit anyone you bitch
F*** YEAH EQUALITY!
OMG!
You slapped him in public. That's wrong...
yes its wrong, and I'm not proud of it. just thinking of what I can do to prove to him it won't happen again and so that we can be as we used to.