Quiet, shy guys, would you be comfortable with a girl pursuing you like this?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been working with a guy for several years. At work he’s so quiet, he doesn’t say much at all to anybody. We usually just say Hi and Bye. But I’ve always had a crush on him. I spoke with my coworkers and they (guys) said that if I ever wanted to date him, i would need to make the first move because he is too shy. I’m not usually shy but he has that affect on me. I finally asked for his number & asked him to go to the movies. He said yes so we went and we talked for an hour after. Then I saw him at work and I just smiled and said Hi like usual. His shift is always over when I come in so I only said bye after that. I texted to ask him out again the next week and we ended up doing the same thing but we had dinner also. At dinner, i kept dodging his eye contact and said “you’re so handsome and your eyes are beautiful”. He made a joke and said you’re not too bad looking yourself. About halfway through the movie, i noticed the arm rest between our seats was moved up so there was no space between us. I asked if i could lean on him, he said yes. We haven’t hugged or held hands. My coworkers think he’s never had a girlfriend before, but I didn’t ask him. I’ve had plenty of boyfriends. I’m 21, he’s about 30. He hasn’t texted me first at all. But when I have texted him to make plans he responds literally within two minutes. When I say he’s quiet I mean really quiet. I am the first of our coworkers to ask him out or see him really outside of work. I don’t notice that he takes a very long time to respond to my questions in person and sometimes he ends up with no response at all. When I asked him like what he likes to do he started to think about it, so I was waiting for his response, but he never said anything. When I ask what he wants to do, he leaves it up to me. I won’t see him at work until Sunday, but I already miss him. Should I wait until then to talk to him or should I keep trying to spend more time with him? If this was you, how would you be feeling or reacting?

[TDCTD]

If he hasn't had a lot of girlfriends even more so recently he is definitely enjoying your attention, but too afraid to take any action himself of fear not to scare you away somehow and ruin everything, definatetly try to go out together again, but try somewhere outdoors if possible, even better if there are less people around.

[Asker]

That makes sense. I’m really outgoing and he might not realize how much I like him even though I am hella nervous on the inside.

[drsatan]

As a shy guy myself who has never made the first move with a girl, thank you for putting so much work and effort into useless bastards like me 😅.

Do you think you should keep trying to spend more time with him? You've put a lot of effort in so far. Do you think he could be worth more?

[Asker]

That’s sweet I’m almost intimidated by quiet guys because I think he must be really thoughtful and kind. On the other hand I talk a lot and laugh constantly, I never want to seem crazy or over the top to him. I definitely think he’s worth it. I don’t want to mess it up either & annoy him by asking him over and over again when he doesn’t ask me.

[drsatan]

Just be your honest self.
Talk to him and invite him round as much as you feel you want to. If he doesn't want to, it's down to him to say. It's best that you show him what you're really like and how much attention you would like to get from him now than spring it on him later or just suppress yourself so you don't feel fulfilled.
It will go one of three ways.
He won't mind and you get to spend more time with this guy and hopefully get to know each other more and more

He will tell you you're being too intense and you can work out a compromise where you are both happy and know each others needs and boundaries

He won't like it at all and, it wasn't meant to be. Better to find out early so you can move on quicker.

[worldscolide]

Keep trying to spend more time with him. Right now he is likely nervous as hell, scared, happy... Lots of things at once. He responds quickly via text because he is waiting by his phone for you.. Definitely keep trying to talk to him.

[Asker]

I will! I was losing my confidence because he hasn’t texted me but I won’t give up just because of that.

[worldscolide]

I know it can be disheartening but keep plugging away, eventually he will come out of his shell

[sersss]

It's good to know there are such wonderful girls out there. But beware! This relationship can get really weird...

[Anonymous]

It would be a dream come true if a girl I was attracted to, pursued me like this

[Anonymous]

so you have asked a guy out before?