Do guys care about girls' feelings?

[sunsetdreamer]

Hi friends! :)

So I just came out of a toxic relationship with this guy... I loved him so much and did everything I could to make him happy and to respect him. But whenever I shared something that concerned me, in a very understanding way, always using ''I'' statements, he became very distant and bothered. Now, since this went on for about more than a year, I finally took the courage to break up with him, since I completely lost myself. I had waited for him to finally start acknowledging my feelings, but he never did, so breaking up was the only thing left for me to do.

However, I hear this a lot from guys around me, who seem to joke a lot about 'girls and their feelings' like it is the most tiring thing on earth. Now don't get me wrong, I know that some women take this to an extreme, but what about gentle and sensitive souls like myself? Because of my experience, I really wonder to what extent guys care about girls feelings.

I am not trying to be harsh, but like I said... I just experienced this way and am very afraid to upset a guy once more. :( Also, I kind of lost my hope about finding a guy who will not get tired of my sensitive side. Like, I am sorry I feel a lot, but I love you and you're my hero but I just feel awful at the moment. How to deal with this? Can someone please share their own experiences on guys and their thoughts on girl's feelings? Thanks!! :)

[lightbulb27]

I've been in this. You being very sensitive probably picked someone who is not very sensitive and possibly on the narcissist side of things. If that's the case, then they were intentionally abusive vs, just not attuned to your feelings. Id wonder if you chose him sub consciously because he's really a broken person and you wanted to care for him... that wouldn't be a conscious thing but more sub conscious.

In general, we do care, but we don't care the way you do nor are we able to feel your feelings the way you do. We process it differently. It is possible, he just wanted you to be happy and didn't know how to handle bad or sad feelings.

You have to be conscious of whom you are attracted to and if you see a repeating pattern of painfully opposite personality, then you need to work on yourself and why (that is rooted in your childhood)

You are sensitive, not everyone is. you likely have lots of empathy, maybe intuitive. not everyone is nor knows how to handle that. There are guys who are better experienced to handle this... but will you be able to identify and be attracted is the question.

[sunsetdreamer]

Thank you very much for these insights! :) I indeed think he was on the narcissist side, and I do think that I unconsciously wanted to care for him.. I really hope I will be able to identify healthy character in the future, but since he was my first boyfriend I just don't know what 'healthy' is for men haha, which is why I asked :)

[lightbulb27]

I see! Think of this in terms of a range... some people have more empathy and compassion and sensitivity. I can match you to someone on GAG who is very sensitive and romantic and empathic, your age;) I'd say majority men don't understand womens feelings at all, however, society/testosterone is shifting so maybe the younger ones get it more. Certainly ones whove grown up with sisters and see the sensitive side.

The issue then is whom you draw... which will likely be opposite, and whom you select and can filter out. That would be your sub conscious "selector".

good job seeing this early..!

[Waajon]

My wife and I celebrated our 4 year anniversary two days ago. I'm 23. We've been through a lot, and the one problem we had was communication. I had some mental health problems and was away from my wife, home, and dogs for about two weeks last month. The one thing we talked about when I got back was that we caused our own problems by not being there for each other. We were in the same room, but we weren't "present", if that makes sense. If he doesn't listen or seem to care then I would say you made the right decision by leaving. You can't have just the lovey dovey parts or a relationship and not the deep, emotional segments. If you want it to work, you both need to be open to the others feelings and opinions. It's not about if you two just get along, relationship are a team effort. You both have to put in the time to caring about the other, and the easiest way to do that, is communication. You're very strong to prove to yourself that he wasn't good for you, and I hope you the best when it comes to finding someone that will care about how you're feeling!!!❤️

[chriscdi]

just cause you ran into one rotten fish, doesn't make the rest of them bad cause just like the ocean, many different kind of fish with different ways of living, you just ran into a shark, now i know not all men are bad cause i have friends that care about their girl and they seem happy together, then i see other of my friends who treat their girl like shit, just be more cautious when dating missy, follow your heart, i know you'll find someone better, let this just be an obstacle that you are gonna go through and move on, it would take time of course but with patience and hope, you'll reach your destination.

[Riley013]

Hella

[Anonymous]

you gotta realize something about guys. they'll listen to your problems but they don't want to hear women bitch whine complain and moan about some other guy they're seeing unless it's a pussy ass beta male who either wants to date you or get in your pants. real guys don't give a rats ass about you whining about another guy. anything else they'll listen and put up with but the moment you start going on about how so and so treats you like crap and how you wish he was more like you bullshit that's when a guy will tune you out because guys will sit there and think if you wish so and so was more like me then how come you're not dating me. its because you women don't like nice guys or pussy ass beta guys. just don't go around whining about your male problems because guys don't want to hear that shit. they'll listen to everything else and tolerate everything else except that

[sunsetdreamer]

Okay thankyou great perspective! Sounds like you experienced that but that behaviour is indeed just annoying..

[perfectchaos]

We care a lot about girls feeling but for guys its tiring and so if you hear jokes about that its us blowing off steam. We also do a lot more tough love stuff them emotional and so it may come off as cruel and emotional to some people. I had an ex that had a fight with her boss and it this big long story. I told her she needs to call her boss and fix it before it gets worse. She thought I was being mean when I was telling her how to fix a situation. I was right and she got suspended and I still wasn't allowed to say told ya.

[ecfresh]

Yes we care just as much about feelings and emotions as girls care about them. But we have been taught to be strong, that means suppressing our feelings. But when we fall in love and she lets us know it’s safe, we can be completely vulnerable and let all our feelings go. That intimacy where we can shed all inhibitions and show her how passionate and how deeply our heart pines for her is an unbelievable feeling. We want to hear all her feelings but even beyond that feel empathetic so we have the strongest connection we can have. To me that’s love and when in love 2 become 1.

[ItsTheNephilim]

You did the right thing in breaking up with him. There are lots of good and bad guys out there. Just be cautious with your pick and try your best. If it has to work out, it'll. Relationships are meant to bring you happiness, not to drag you down. Good luck!

[Trooper205]

It greatly depends on the Guy. If You ask Me, I care SO MUCH for my Girl, and it HURTS when She's hurting. She'll vouch for Me on this: I often ask Her how She's doing.

[sunsetdreamer]

Thats great thankyou! :)

[BestUserName100]

Nope not if they bring way to much drama into your life. No way.. Get them the f out of here and they ain't never coming back.

[sunsetdreamer]

Like I said.. I am not talking about extremes here

[magiusX26]

many of us actually do. but like most questions on here, not all

[Shamalien]

my dick would be a lot wetter if I didn't

too bad im a big softie :3

not my dick tho... he's a big hardie

[sunsetdreamer]

Haha okay that comment doesn't match with your age sir ;)

[Shamalien]

that's cause im 25 lol

[Anonymous]

Yeah there are plenty of guys who care about girl's feelings. However you never noticed them because you friendzoned them all.

[JamesBlackDragon]

Some guys care some guys don't some guys will pretend to care if it keep getting them pussy

[coffeewithcream]

Not one bit.