Are guys not approaching girls now because of an ego issue?

[Anonymous]

I was wondering about the abundance of "I don't approach women" comments and want to know if this is one of the factors in why a lot of guys won't approach women anymore.

I feel like guys aren't approaching women because they feel like they are boosting a woman's ego while destroying their own. Like when a guy approaches and flirts with a woman, it will involve things that pretty much boost her self-esteem. Yet if she's not interested in the guy, she's still getting flattered, complimented, appreciated, and so on. But if the guy receives none of this back he may feel like he gave some of himself away while the girl just didn't care. So basically he just boosted a girl's self esteem and made her feel valuable, but even though some girls may approach a guy, it's so rare for some people that they typically don't get that kinda treatment. A girl wouldn't typically give out a "thinking of you" text unless they were already dating.

So with a guy putting himself out there in a potentially vulnerable situation again and again he may start to feel like he's just giving himself away while feeling like he's just getting hurt over and over again, which in turns causes him to start resenting girls, thus coming to this site making angry rants feeling so down about himself.

Now personally, this is the impression I am getting here and feel that guys are approaching women with way too much hopes way too fast over one simple conversation and skipping over getting to know the person. But am I right in assuming that this is how it's typically ending up for a lot of guys that end up reaching the point where they not only stop talking to women but even resent them?

What are your thoughts on this ramble?

[Anonymous]

I approach women. Heck I approached like 3 today and all 3 rejected me. One even wouldn't stop to talk, maybe she was having a bad day.

But I laughed it off each time. Once you get USED to rejections, you laugh it off and move on. That doesn't mean I haven't gotten numbers either.

I see a rejection as she just wasn't the type for me. And, that means it saves me time from having to spend more time and money on her eg. dates, events etc...

As for the guys that don't approach it's their loss. How do they expect a girl to be your girlfriend? Since a majority of women DO NOT approach men. So unless you approach you are going to be fapping it off everynight and keep the hand busy!

[washize]

I agree. I learned to approach guys fairly young. I was constantly told that no guy likes to be approached by a woman and that, she'll be seen as easy, needy, desperate, and crazy. The first guy I approached was when I was 18 on campus, I introduced myself, we had a great conversation, and I asked him out on a date. He told me he was gay and I nearly cried. But I laugh when I think about it now and so do my gay friends. Being rejected isn't the end of the world.

[washize]

I get rejected from some jobs, that doesn't mean I just stop applying for work. Everyone isn't going to like you, and they don't have to. You have a great attitude about life.

[Opinion Owner]

Hey it's awesome that you asked the guy out. it takes guts and you went for it. Sorry it didn't end in your favor. But maybe the next guy you ask out will turn out well. Or better yet, maybe a guy will grow a pair and ask you out.

[kheserthorpe]

That's always been true.

I think manners used to be more fixed, and that provided people with a better framework for initiating social interaction in the past. People used to be well trained on how to meet strangers, introduce themselves, etc. They could expect a certain response too, more encouraging or more terse depending on how it was received. Basically there were more 'rules' and rules actually make it easier. Nowadays there are almost no rules, everything is supposed to be casual and natural and for many people that's difficult, plus the range of responses you might trigger are much wider.

There are other factors, but I'd pick that one as a major one.

[blackadderreturns]

this is not a question, this is just the truth

i've been burned, I can relate to the bitter ones, can't say it's justified. what tends to happen is they feel that women are there only to serve a purpose, whether that purpose is to please or hurt them, they seem to forget that women are...people