Do you often experience something similar: do you prefer a guy to approach when the two of you are alone?

Question

Inspired by JustNeedToKnow... Ok so I’m mainly asking girls, but If you’re a guy, you can state if girls do either of the below to you as well. I personally would prefer a guy approach me when we’re both alone.

But this has often been the case

#1 If he approaches, its while I’m with fam or friends. And then if I turn him down, he’d ask out one of the female fam/friends right in front of me. Like What a joke and of course they’d say no.

#2 If he approaches me while he’s with his friends, then it would just make me uncomfortable. Feels like an unwanted gangbang waiting to happen. And then if I turned him down, then one of his friends would ask me out. Like this is some ass backwards shit. And worse, would be if I actually was interested in his friend because I now have to say no.

I’m not against anyone shooting their shot and I mean hey, I don’t mind approaching them either. But i truly feel its best when its one on one. (Unless he’s 40+ or old enough to be my dad because he shouldn’t be approaching me at all). #FeelFreeToList

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

Approaching her when she is alone is the best way to go so she doesn’t feel awkward around her friends etc.. putting her on the spot , but it also depends on the surroundings as well , If she is at a bar or a concert then I guess it doesn’t matter because everyone is mingling so it’s easier to strike up a conversation with her, and get her attention , but all and all it mainly comes down to the timing and if she finds me attractive or not it’s always a 50/50 chance so it’s better to take the chance then not take it at all is how I look at it , people can be straight up Assholes and I can’t stand people that are that way , when they are rude right from the start , there is no reason for it , we don’t walk around with signs flashing above our heads saying what are relationship status is or what we are into , so I am never rude to a girl that has the courage to walk up to me , whether I find her attractive or not , I am still polite to them , the only way I would become rude is if they didn’t take no for an answer , But other than that their is no reason to be rude to someone that took a shot at you , people that are rude need a wake up call and realize their shit stinks as well. I shake my head when I witness other people getting turned down rudely by someone right from the start , especially if they didn’t say anything that was to creepy, , it just shows how fucked up people are in this world , people will complain and bitch to their friends that so and so had the nerve to approach them , how dare they think they had a chance with me , but if someone attractive approached them and said the same exact thing oh that’s completely fine , people need a wake up call and realize we are all a human race that have a lot of similarities, maybe this world would be a better place

nawtee_me · Accepted Answer

That is why when I usually approach a girl it is in a bar and it is to ask her to dance. If we dance once or twice then I will ask her out and usually while on the dance floor.

AddylynnNightingale · Accepted Answer

This happens. With the first case I find it a bit disrespectful. You basically tell my friend that she's second choice. Of course they're going to say no, Mister HumpItAll.

The second one feels like it's a game to them. One guy approaches you and you see or hear them laughing in the corner. Are you cheering him on? Laughing at him? Is this a bet?

Agape93 · Accepted Answer

Had the first happen a few times, but I shut down the other one before he even tried.

ShadezMcgee · Answer

If you are a man, women approaching is rare. One of two things will happen if she is out with friends.

Either she will try to get free rounds of drinks ks for her and friends and leave the man who paid for them out to dry, or she lingers around him to ask questions and talk. If she does the latter, then that is the green light for us to see what is up.

Otherwise if with friends, they aren't there for meeting men. They are out to look good and have a good time with their girls.

There were some instances when I was younger in college that a couple of women boxed me in at the bar and chatted me up, but it was moreso to get drinks out of me. A few were outright sexual harrassment/assault.

Smoothing · Answer

I think a good amount of guys would prefer to approach a woman when they are alone. Unfortunately not everybody in the society shares that notion or feeling. I find it more comfortable approaching a girl alone but I have experienced incidences where a girl likes me but never gives that opportunity for us to talk.

So if you think you are alone, this, you are not. I share exactly the same opinion as you.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

I agree with the 1 on 1 thing, but moreover, I don't want a stranger to shoot her shot with me unless its online and she knows from a profile i made what I'm like, and I'm not going to approach women I don't know either.

I feel like the whole "approach me" method in general is crap, I'd rather date a female best friend.

kellytheman · Answer

Yeah it easier and less awkward when friends or your fam is around. I try not do that or see if she is with anyone like a group of her friends. Also I had one guy had the gaw to ask the girl I was training at work for her number and I was like dude she is working not try to hook up with you besides she was already involved with someone.

Loveisgirthy · Answer

Never shot my shot but I've worked through a room of people to get to talk to one who caught my eye before. It's a slower steady process but just straight up hitting on someone feels too player to me. I like the steady climb. But if they're in a group or not doesn't exactly change the approach to me. Wouldn't go down the line of women they're with though wtf. Only seen that happen in prank videos. It's a joke at that point.

Sparkie460 · Answer

When I was dating years ago I always approached girls when they were by themselves. I didn't want her friends to wonder why I picked her instead of them. I never used any common pick up lines, I always made it personal

RavVid · Answer

I've always taken an alone approach. I have never seen a girl approach a table of guys and ask guys out till one says yes.

Pink2000 · Answer

I #1 hasn’t happened to me but #2 has and I ended up getting both friends numbers. I didn’t think about it like that at the time but they definitely intended on taking turns..

MysticDevice · Answer

Not exactly, but we had this creepy old guy come up and start hitting on our female friend right in front of us. With no regard for personal space. We weren't happy lol.

Mark987 · Answer

For a man to approach you when you're with family and friends takes a lot of courage. I also agree with what you say.. 1 on 1 is so much better and easier.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

@dizzydesii I totally agree with you. And I haven't OFTEN experienced something like that. Though it has happened once or twice.

Dranana · Answer

Honestly I'm confused... cos I don't care whenever he approaches me🐧. Any approach is fine by me

ZenJen444 · Answer

Mmmm I don't know I had a guy approach me in front of my gfs by himself. I liked it showed be was confident.

Phoenix98 · Answer

Never been in a situation where a woman has approached me like that so I couldn't say.

Abdulwahh · Answer

Ok so now i know ill shoot my shot when we alone 😉

innerman · Answer

I dnt want no guys approaching me

computer_nerd · Answer

i agree with you

Celticwolf78 · Answer

It's better to be alone to make it more passionate

Do you often experience something similar: do you prefer a guy to approach when the two of you are alone?

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