I’m an over thinker. This happened between me and my boyfriend once and it’s still bugging me?

Anonymous
So, I tend to over think. I have this fear of being abused, even though my relationship is not abusive. My boyfriend is a great guy, we both have our flaws but love each other and stand by eachother. I’ve been dating him for 3 years and am going to therapy. My therapist tells me “no, You’re relationship is not abusive.” Even though I ask him every once in a while. I’ve told him (my therapist) every little thing that has happened between me and my boyfriend, and he still stands by what he says, mostly bc he also knows my boyfriend as a person and patient. He even knows about what I’m going to share rn, but I still wanted to get an outside opinion. So we were in a beach house once and were sleeping on a mattress on the floor. I’d been up for longer, (he recently had waken up) and was still a bit groggy. I then crawled across the mattress, reaching out for my laptop that was on the couch next to us, and I accidentally was resting my knee weight on my boyfriend’s thigh skin. He went “oww” and then proceeded to make contact with his foot on my boob. It was by no means a kick (didn’t hurt either) but it also wasn’t a touch or nudge. I could still feel the touch of his foot afterwards. It wasn’t pain at all, more like a phantom touch, as if the sensation was still there. I don't know, I saw it as something mean so maybe my state of mind was influencing. I told him that he did that on my boob and he responded “I know.” Looking upset. After a while we talked about it and he mentioned it was kind of a reflex because of the pain. He wanted me off his thigh and he reacted that way. He said he would never do something to hurt me, even less intentionally, so it kind of slid off the radar after. My ocd has been flaring up lately and my mind has been bringing up bad memories, this is one of them. I just hear my brain going “he hit you.” But... he really didn’t. It’s just really stressing me out and I don’t want to think of my relationship as abusive over that moment.
I’m an over thinker. This happened between me and my boyfriend once and it’s still bugging me?
7 Opinion