I rejected her for being bi. Now she's crying?

[Anonymous]

So there was this girl met through a friend and she liked me. We started talking for a good week until she started to confess that she was bi. I really dont see myself lasting with a girl who is bi. When she told me her sexuality I quickly lost interest in her in a literal second. She noticed that my tone sounded as if I was disappointed (which was correct). She told me if something was wrong but I tried to act nothing was. It wasn't until she started pressuring me that I finally said that "im not interested in bi girls. When I rejected her she started bawling her eyes out to the point she could barely breathe. I felt bad that I tried calming her down but it didn't work. Now before you guys start assuming that I was hostile telling her what I really thought about her, I wasn't. I was being as honest as I can. Am I right for doing this or am I a jerk?

[Janatalks01]

Some of these comments are just wow.. it’s okay if you aren’t interested in bi girls. It’s just a preference and don’t let anyone shame you for that. It’s good that you feel bad after making her upset but you also have a right to stand your ground too. There’s nothing wrong with your preference.

[gaygod_19]

well, you were being biphobic towards her and the biphobic attitude is common among both straight and gay people. You better just explain to her why you don't date bi girls as well as asking yourself why you wouldn't wanna date bi people.

[zagor]

How is that being biphobic? If someone is a staunch Christian who won't date a Jew because they want shared beliefs, that doesn't make them antisemitic.

[gaygod_19]

@zagor being biphobic mean choosing not to date a person because they are bi, or as simple as holding prejudice against bisexual people. And the fact that person is bi doesn't necessarily means they don't share the same belief as you because sexuality isn't the same as belief. Your sexuality is how you were born and there's nothing you can do to change it. Plus there are millions of things you could choose to disagree with a person but in this case, you chose to disagree with their sexuality, it just doesn't make sense to me.

[zagor]

He doesn't disagree with her sexuality, he just doesn't want to be intimately involved with someone who has it.

Myself, I would find it hot, but only if she had the same taste in women as I do.

[gaygod_19]

@zagor "We started talking for a good week until she started to confess that she was bi. I really dont see myself lasting with a girl who is bi. When she told me her sexuality I quickly lost interest in her in a literal second. She noticed that my tone sounded as if I was disappointed (which was correct)."
That just shows that he rejected her because of her sexuality even tho he liked her at first. Tbh our society taught us prejudice and shapes us into ignorant people, and it's our responsibility to unlearn it.

[gaygod_19]

@zagor
"He doesn't disagree with her sexuality, he just doesn't want to be intimately involved with someone who has it."
no hate here, dude. But what you said just describes some form of biphobia. It's good that you don't have it, but you need to educate yourself more on this topic.

[zagor]

He rejected her because confessing her sexuality implies that she will continue to act accordingly in the future. Which means she would not be sexually monogamous. What would you call it if instead she said she was straight, but she planned on still fucking other guys sometimes, and he rejected her for that?

[Barbaric]

"Plus there are millions of things you could choose to disagree with a person but in this case, you chose to disagree with their sexuality, it just doesn't make sense to me."

Just because it doesn't make sense to you doesn't mean he's wrong. You probably have certain standards which make no sense to other people too.

[gaygod_19]

@Barbaric well so you mean biphobia is not wrong? is that what you're trying to say? Trying to make up excuses for being ignorant?

[zagor]

I think you fail to understand the meaning of "-phobic". Not dating someone of a particular whatever is not the same as disliking/fearing that group. There are people that I like that I won't date.

[gaygod_19]

@zagor he dislikes bisexual girls and it fits what you just said.

[zagor]

Not so. Not wanting to get in a relationship with someone is not the same as disliking them. I've have some very good girl friends who would never be my girlfriends.

[gaygod_19]

@zagor yes and you dislike those girls for other reasons. This dude liked her at first but later dislike her because of her sexuality. It's not the same thing.

[gaygod_19]

He literally said he didin't like her anymore because she's bi.

[zagor]

Again, you are associating "won't get in an intimate relationship with" with "dislike". I like my dog, I don't expect a sexual relationship out of it.

[gaygod_19]

@zagor yea well then let's say he won't get in an intimate relationship with her due to the fact that she is bisexual and the reason he thinks he won't last with a bisexual is because of his prejudice. If he decided to check his prejudice against a group based on their sexuality, maybe he will see them in a different way.

[zagor]

By that standard, since I won't have sex with men I must be homophobic.

[gaygod_19]

@zagor No u don't have sex with men because u are not gay or bi. It's not the same thing as not being attracted to bisexual women (when you are a lesbian or a straight male) only because she is bisexual and you think bisexuals will not make a good partner.

[SicilianSlice]

Gaygod. You are creating a mountain out of a mole hill. If he is not attracted to someone for any reason, its his reason. No need for name calling because you dont seem to understand or see eye to eye with the situation. It was a deal breaker. If anyone feels that there is more reason to it than that, is looking for an argument to prove political points. Not needed here

[Asker]

I did tell her why I rejected her. I felt bad for it but I've hear and seen plenty of things go very badly with bi girls that I was nervous about it. In my opinion it's one thing getting cheated on with another guy, but another girl? That tells me I was not enough for her to begin with.

[gaygod_19]

Tbh i know how you feel. I was dating a bi girl who claim she would never date a guy but then in our lowest points where everything was shit, she told me we would work things out but then got a boyfriend without any clear explanation. I told myself I wouldn’t date bi girls again but after dating many other bi girls i realize it was never about gender, it’s about who you love and who you trust.
You are enough, but if it’s not enough for them then too bad. Cheating is something we cannot control over and we just have to build that kind of trust and work on our self esteem before dating someone.

[RyanK9]

You asshole how could you.. Nah everything is good. You just said tge truth and that's it. But damn a Bi girl can be awesome, maybe she is into some 3way with another girl 🥺

[Felicityoyo]

Bisexual does not mean poly... it's not synonymous with having threesomes.

[RyanK9]

Thats why I said maybe

[Felicityoyo]

Most likely not. It's a stereotype

[Asker]

Dude threesomes are just disgusting in my opinion. Sex is supposed to be with two people in private. One person to focus on.

[RyanK9]

Ok dude.. You missing something. But everyone what they need

[V12NI]

You're right, no one can push you to date someone, but yourself. Being honest and straightforward is great in my opinion

[Wonderer89]

If it’s a deal breaker it’s a deal breaker 🤷🏻‍♀️ She has a right to be upset about being rejected later in the piece after being a little attached but you’ve done nothing wrong.
People can call you shallow or biphobic but you don’t owe explanations for what you personally find attractive and require of a person to want to engage in a relationship

[Felicityoyo]

Well... honestly there's no reason to reject someone just for being bisexual. Bisexual women are attracted to men so there's not really a valid reason to reject her based on that alone. Especially if you liked her before finding that out.

[Felicityoyo]

And before you say it no bisexual is not the same as poly. Being bi doesn't mean you want or need to have a sexual relationship with both genders at the same time or that you prefer threesomes. It simply means you have the ability to be attracted to men and women. That's it.

[Anonymous]

Of course you did nothing wrong. You can't choose to be attracted to someone you are not, just like she can't choose to be bi or not. But I'm curious why it's a turn off if she's bi?

[Asker]

I just have heard and seen things going bad with them. Divorce, ffms, cheating with another girl, you name it. I feel bad, but it's better being honest than to force yourself in a situation you know you dont want to be in.

[Lost_Spark]

She may have been Bi, but what if she remained exclusive to you and no longer had any encounters with women?

[SicilianSlice]

He lost interest... no point in playing "What If's"

[Lost_Spark]

Still food for thought. There is always a point to everything

[Asker]

Tbh I've heard and seen A LOT of bad things that went wrong when it comes to dating bi girls. Friends, family, you name it. Cheating, flirting and touching with the same sex without their bfs knowledge, and asking for ffms. If she were exclusive to me only then that's good, but the likelihood that she'll go for another girl later on is pretty likely in mine and my friends experience. I'm not saying all of them are like that, but a good chunk of them are.

[ItsTheNephilim]

That's just your preference, nothing wrong with that. Calm her down if you want to.

[Compassiondude101]

I could never be with a woman who thinks about woman the way a guy does it’s not as feminine to me. I want there to be a balance in the relationship. I date straight naturally born women that’s it.

[GreenGold1992]

Yes you were wrong and yes you are a jerk. So what if she's attracted to both sexes? She sounded like she was really into you, you could've had something special with her, you fool.

[AmeerX]

You did the right thing

[_SOARER]

Best to be honest
You did the right thing

[Fuentes]

U could've had a three some

[Asker]

Eww no. I just want it to be between us. Not some random person.

[Fuentes]

U ain't even gotta date her but two girls giving you head at once and doing shit and then after u kick them lose and never hit any of. them up again

[Dinosaursandanime65]

The bunnies cries being the wolves. And slatra

[Asker]

what

[Anonymous]

Get over yourself, she will.

[Twalli]

What do you have against bisexual girls?

[michael1469]

Dumbass

[Asker]

Ok, explain

[michael1469]

So what if she is bi? at least you still got a shot.

[Asker]

Dude I really dont wanna be in a relationship I know isn't gonna end well.