Having feelings for my close friend pls read and help?

[zauyy]

My close friend is from school, he is a junior and I knew him because I once had a crush on him. We are very close, not strings attached. I tell him my relationship problems, all the entanglements and he does too. I also now have the guts to tell him that I used to have a crush on him 😂. But we haven't really gotten the chance to catch up in rl life.
We talk to each other everyday and we flirt a lot. I played along and he did too. I used to tell him to stop fooling around in case I catch feelings again and sadly i did. One night, he acted as if he was trying to ask me out, he told me that he wanted to run away and live together. I knew then that I had already fallen, again. But topic changed.
The next morning he acted like he didn't say anything the night before. I got sick of him fooling around so I told him my true feelings and that I wanted to talk less becoz he didn't really feel the same. I was afraid of getting hurt. He said if we were to move on to the next step, there'll be a time when we have to break up and he didn't want to lose me and our friendship. I felt happy yet sad because that's all we'll ever be, so I decide that we stop talking everyday and act like real friends because real friends don't talk to each other everyday and all night. He agreed but he hit me up again the same night, I was kinda pissed coz we already agreed to stop. He was angry at me because I've changed. The next day I felt bad, so I decided that we might be able to keep the friendship and that I'd be able to control my feelings but everything feels so awkward. I wish I never talked about my feelings at all because I miss how we used to talk and it's hard to go back to the way we were because he feels bad and he doesn't want to hurt my feelings. I feel awkward and he's gon be unable to share his relationship problems with me anymore and share me everything and that's killing me. I feel like I'm bothering and making him uncomfortable. But I miss him.

[btbc92]

I'm sorry but your very selfish and your only hurting yourself. This is no way of trying to offend you, but I am not going to sugarcoat it for you because there is a lot of red flags and wrong with this whole picture:

1. When you knew the first time you crushed on him, you should have told him THEN. Not later. THEN. You didn't do that. Now not only did you string him along in a fake friendship, you doing this to yourself.
2. Your 2nd mistake is flirting with him and allowing him to flirt back. Your playing games with your emotions and then blame him for something you started.
3. Both of you from what I see is guilty. That is not a friendship. He owes you an apology for that. You can't move forward with this because there is nothing to move forward to.
4. I'm also sorry to say, you don't what a real friendship does. "so I decide that we stop talking everyday and act like real friends because real friends don't talk to each other everyday and all night." Healthy friendships DO talk every day and all night. Friends love each other. Friends value each other. They won't hurt you on purpose. They apologize. They forgive. They let go of the past. They care about your wellbeing. Look at Wikipedia's definition of friendship: "Although there are many forms of friendship, some of which may vary from place to place, certain characteristics are present in many types of such bonds. Such characteristics include affection; kindness, love, virtue, sympathy, empathy, honesty, altruism, loyalty, generosity, forgiveness, mutual understanding and compassion, enjoyment of each other's company, trust, and the ability to be oneself, express one's feelings to others, and make mistakes without fear of judgment from the friend. Friendship is an essential aspect of relationship building skills." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friendship

Your 'feelings' for this guy is toxic and it has to go. Because you hurting yourself. You deserve better, and he shouldn't even be invited in your heart or life again. BUT remember, you helped escalate this because your young and because of your immaturity. So I won't entirely fault you because of that and lack of experience. But for future reference, do not do this again. Leave this guy alone as a 'friend', find BETTER FRIENDS. And move on. Because now you seeking his attention due to emotional attachment, and it's starting to become emotionally, mentally, and psychologically abusive. I will overall say it is a big misunderstanding, but at its core, it is TOXIC. For your sake and wellbeing, MOVE ON.

[zauyy]

Thank you. I do have attachment issues. Now I am regretting that I even opened up to him which is bothering me all the time. But it's because I wanted him to stop flirting with me. Do you think I made a bad decision in being honest and trying to push him away? Ik I made the right choice in pushing him away because he was no good for my mental health. I've never confessed before and this is my first time and I got rejected even tho it hurts my pride saying this. We still talk tho, should I try and talk things through? Tell him that it was like a moment of weakness? And that he shouldn't take it serious or something?

[btbc92]

Stop talking with this guy and let him go. You barely know this kid, that is to be expected. In the end, he is fooling around with YOUR emotions. I am glad you realize you have attachment issues. But this is something better off settled with a counselor.

[DaddyFapper]

Hit him up and explain. Send him this. Talk to him and tell him ALL your thoughts. It'll help

[Emanon_18]

Give yourself more time before opening your heart and feelings for him