Having feelings for my close friend pls read and help?

zauyy
My close friend is from school, he is a junior and I knew him because I once had a crush on him. We are very close, not strings attached. I tell him my relationship problems, all the entanglements and he does too. I also now have the guts to tell him that I used to have a crush on him 😂. But we haven't really gotten the chance to catch up in rl life.
We talk to each other everyday and we flirt a lot. I played along and he did too. I used to tell him to stop fooling around in case I catch feelings again and sadly i did. One night, he acted as if he was trying to ask me out, he told me that he wanted to run away and live together. I knew then that I had already fallen, again. But topic changed.
The next morning he acted like he didn't say anything the night before. I got sick of him fooling around so I told him my true feelings and that I wanted to talk less becoz he didn't really feel the same. I was afraid of getting hurt. He said if we were to move on to the next step, there'll be a time when we have to break up and he didn't want to lose me and our friendship. I felt happy yet sad because that's all we'll ever be, so I decide that we stop talking everyday and act like real friends because real friends don't talk to each other everyday and all night. He agreed but he hit me up again the same night, I was kinda pissed coz we already agreed to stop. He was angry at me because I've changed. The next day I felt bad, so I decided that we might be able to keep the friendship and that I'd be able to control my feelings but everything feels so awkward. I wish I never talked about my feelings at all because I miss how we used to talk and it's hard to go back to the way we were because he feels bad and he doesn't want to hurt my feelings. I feel awkward and he's gon be unable to share his relationship problems with me anymore and share me everything and that's killing me. I feel like I'm bothering and making him uncomfortable. But I miss him.
Having feelings for my close friend pls read and help?
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