Is checking out other women normal guy behavior or the behavior of a cheater?

Question

Just curious. I know that I would never check another guy out. It hasn’t happend to me but I think I would be sad if it did

GoodManDave · Accepted Answer

Personally, I think a guy noticing a beautiful woman or "appreciating" a beautiful woman is natural.

I think men AND women are kind of prone to look at someone attractive. I've been single for ages... I admit I look. I try not to be too obvious about it, though.

But being a JERK about it - being obvious, making comments to your girlfriend; that sort of thing, is NOT natural - and it's not cool. "Wow, I wish your tits were as great as hers..." is an ass comment, and that dude should be gone. It's not only "clueless," it's mean spirited. Yelling "AWOOOOOOOGA!" and "BOYOYOYOYOYOYOING!" and making vulgar moves is an ass move, single or not.

Now, WHEN in a relationship, I try to change the channel or not blatantly look for that sort of thing if it pops up on screen, or I try to ignore ads. We'd be watching TV, or walking by a large VS display - I'd look away. A Victoria's Secret commercial comes on, or a fitness commercial comes on, I'd quickly change the channel; I don't want that extra temptation. I'd try to make it easier to NOT look. Accidentally noticing a low cut gown and looking, as an accidental habit, from time to time, it happens. If that's an issue... then it will make a lot of problems...

I dated a girl who had a bit of a respect problem when it came to noticing guys when we'd be walking or sitting at a restaurant... Full on STARING... grunting. Crap like that. She could have looked for half a second, and not made it obvious, and it would have been way different than her panting and making little grunts and staring, or following with her head when a guy walked past (not just the eyes, but looking back). Not once in a while, but a lot. It didn't last long for many reasons, but that was something that was getting to be a problem.

Alaistair · Accepted Answer

I voted normal guy but that's situational, I Chek out people all the time, maybe I notice something about them or something about they way they present their selves appeals to me, I tend to do it in a manner that's not completely obvious. It's not an indication that I'm cheating on my significant other or that I'm a cheater in general. I do not take offence if my lady ends up checking out some guy she would often bring it to my attention and tell me that I like his watch or how tall/well built he is or something in that regard, I know she's not a cheater as well. Im fully aware of my own short comings and so my lady doesn't feel awakrd when discussing such things with me and if it's something she would like me to adopt she just says it out loud. She loves my full bead but once in a while she would say see that guy he's fully shaved would you like to try that, and if I'm OK with it why not, it does feel great when you shave clean after carrying around all that facial hair.

Sbgirl · Accepted Answer

I didn't vote because I think it is neither 'normal' or 'cheating'.

I have been out with my boyfriend and have seen him check out other women, but hardly ever fortunately. This mainly happened at the beach, with women walking by half-naked or topless. I can forgive that because they were in a state of undress and its an unusual thing to see - I mean it was in his face so I can't exactly blame him for looking, but when he kept looking back that was too much for me. It still hurt when I was in a bikini next to him and he did it so blatantly. I discussed it with him and he understood that it was hurtful for me, especially when he made it so clear. However, I knew he wasn't going to go cheat on me. He's been cheated on and knows the pain. Just looking at others doesn't mean you're willing to betray your partner.

However, I hate when people say this is 'normal guy' behaviour. I get that there is likely some biological element to it that they can't control which may cause them to have a look, but surely you can tell if you are gawking etc. Especially in front of your girlfriend I think that's disrespectful.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

People  look at things that attract our attention . Be it someone looks strange or someone that is attractive. Just as how if you hear a barking dog, you're going to look. Just as how if you hear running feet, you're going to look. Just as how if you hear a siren, you're going to look. See flashy lights, you're going to look. See a nice expensive car, you're going to look. They all attract attention & people look. It's instinctual. It's what kept our ancestors from being gobbled up by predators. Humans are a prey species (we don't have canines we are omnivores, we don't have claws, etc.) so we are more conscious of our surroundings. People that aren't are typically mug/assault victims, run over by traffic, etc., etc., etc.  . So it's natural for a guy (or gal) to look. If it becomes habitual. If the man (or woman) makes a blatant point of looking - a passing glance is normal. If the man (or woman) later comments did you see what that person was wearing, etc. Then you've a problem.

VIVANT · Answer

I don’t really think this matters. Humans look at other humans. You never notice anyone else when you are oit it’s impossible to not look at people. I look at people all the time and often they think
im checking them out and that’s awkward but honestly I’m just looking bc I like to see human beings I think this it’s very very normal 🧐🤷‍♂️ And the fact im not but they may think I am checking them out illustrates that it can look that way is just to illustrate you can’t tell what’s happening internally just by outward appearance.

hmm pay attention to how many times you notice a guy or girl when out— even for a moment. I think you will be surprised how often it is 😊

ManWithThePlan123 · Answer

Depends on their attitude towards it. If you clearly see them checking out another girl and they deny it, that's a problem. If he realizes what he did and tries to stop himself from doing it again, that's not as big of an issue. It's hard when you have to train yourself to stop staring when your hormones are telling you otherwise.

Mishan97 · Answer

Depends how he does it. It’s human nature to notice other attractive people and want to look at them, so once in a while if an attractive woman passes him by and he takes a quick glance, then I’d say that’s normal because I don’t think he was intentionally trying to be disrespectful. He probably did it without thinking. If he turned his head all the way around to keep staring at her and followed her with his eyes that’s different. I think that’s more intentional and extremely disrespectful to do in front of a partner. However it isn’t necessarily indicative of cheating but it does show disrespect and disregard for your feelings. If he does that a lot then it’s a problem. My ex was a jerk and would not only check other women out but make comments to me about how they are so hot and this hurt my feelings and made me insecure. If your man does this then just break up with him, I wish I broke up with my ex sooner.

Arabella_Rose · Answer

Listen I have been with 3 different guys who fell head over heels for me. None of them ever checked out other women in front of me. And trust me I kept a close eye on them. If your man stares at other women while you’re in a date, it means he doesn’t love you enough. If your man loved you enough , he wouldn’t even take an extra glance.

If you complain to him and he says “it’s natural”, you need to run for the hills

a man truly in love with the number 1 woman in his life would never do a thing like that on a date.

Lliam · Answer

I definitely check out beautiful women. I don't ogle or make it real obvious. I even admire a particularly cute bod when I'm with my wife. She understands. She will even point one out on occasion. One time we were on a ferry in San Francisco and a girl on a passing sail boat flashed her tits. My wife nudged me and told me to look. She's great.
I would never cheat. I basically think of a beautiful female in the same way I think of anything that's beautiful. I'm not ashamed of appreciating cute puppies, gorgeous landscapes, flowers or art. Why would I not appreciate the female form?

talulahbee · Answer

Totally normal. You don't just lose your ability to find other people attractive when u date. Only time it becomes a problem is if it turns to flirting or he's being disrespectful about it.

I used to joke with my ex if I saw a really hot girl be like "Omg, she's gorgeous, look at her!" and it would give him a way to check her out and know it's okay and I won't get mad. I guess it came down to security in the relationship in a way? I felt secure so it's no problem for him to appreciate good looking girls. At the end of the day he's with me. And appreciating good looks is natural.

Nawlins34 · Answer

Look, guys are going to check out women. That's reality. Women should focus more on the context involving the act vs. the act itself.

Is he literally staring at her?
Is he ignoring you or losing track of the conversation to stare at her?
Is he intentionally checking her out more than once in the same social event?
Is he taking action to better position himself to check her out?

As a woman, THESE are the things you should be concerned about, especially if he's with you at the moment they occur.

If he's doing this next to you in a social event, he's capable of doing worse behind your back.

Outside of this, trust your guy or finally admit to yourself that you have underlying trust issues.

Mystic_Nova · Answer

Completely normal. I'd probably be looking at the same girl (not bi or anything, I just like to look at people when I'm bored) and pretty people are pretty people, I'm comfortable enough to be alright with him looking, it's just a common human reaction.

TadCurious · Answer

Jay I make a distinction between checking out and simply noticing. Like in the pic for this question the guy is with his girlfriend and he's doing a double take to stare at the girl passing by. I think that's very disrespectful and inconsiderate towards your significant other. But on the other hand, throughout the course of my day I might see women whom I think are attractive. It's like being outside and seeing something beautiful in nature. But I don't think to myself "I really want to bang her and be with her." That's because I love my girlfriend and only want to be with her. Does that make sense?😀🙋‍♂️

bluetoblack99 · Answer

All straight guys will have impulses. Women have these too but they are infinitely more subtle (most of the time).

It comes down to how he disciplines himself. He sees a hot girl, the thought hits his mind. Does he look away? Does he stare an extra moment? Does he talk to her?

Cheating scumbags are usually pretty good on putting on a facade at the right moments. They might seem unlikely to cheat since they are often paranoid about getting caught. However most of them eventually get sloppy...

Just have a simple rule to live by:

You can look but you can’t touch.

I really don’t get why females get so hung up on this considering all things. I often see them being hypocrites about having major crushes on male celebrities. When they are out with their friends on “ladies night now” they will all openly talk about which guys is cute vs. who isn’t. Taken or not.

Thatsamazing · Answer

Uh, 1)   , 2) normal guy behavior, and 3) there's no such thing as "catching" him looking at other females, as though you have a right to determine where his eyesight goes-- you don't. He's allowed to look wherever he pleases, whenever he pleases. If you're so emotionally insecure and ass-backwards that you can't handle that, then please allow him to break up with you so he can find someone better.

chrissykerdock · Answer

i couldn't vote because neither choice applies... what it is... is disrepectful and i wouldn't tolerate that... what if we gawked at everyman they'd have a heart attack... i expect men to look but not gawk or make it so obvious... ok a girl is in a mini skirt it would be hard for a man not to look i understand that... and there's all kinds of implications when do that... but they should contain themselves.

Hangry22 · Answer

This is why I don't date. I would never check out someone else when I have a guy and I am insecure too. And guys will be guys

Starrr01 · Answer

I was somewhere with my mom not too long ago and she told me how a guy was with his girlfriend and was checking me out. Then a couple of weeks ago I was out to eat with my roommate and this guy was on a date with a girl and kept glancing over at me. I don’t think it’s cheating tendencies. Men are visual creatures. i can personally control myself if I was with my boyfriend but sometimes you can’t help it. If I saw a beautiful woman, I would look too!

mindNsoul · Answer

I dont know if it is normal or if it's a cheater like behavior. But I know that not all men do it. Only the ones with roaming eyes say every man does it but some are better than others in hiding it. But that's BS in my opinion. I don't find it disrespectful because I was lucky enough to not like such men in the first place.

Bananaman177 · Answer

Girls check out guys just as much, but they're total hypocrites about it, just like with everything else.

Anonymous · Answer

Normal! There are limits and good measure to everything of course but no man (or woman) would stop finding attractive people attractive just because they are in a relationship.
Not sure what kind of newborn snowflake wrote the "tutorial" in the image you pasted, but that is completely outside of reality.
When he is checking out other women you know he is getting horny and you should capitalise on that: Nothing wrong if he gains his appetite elsewhere as long as he will still his hunger at home!

Miley19new · Answer

Not cheating but also not nice.
Yeah checking out is def not cheating however it's disrespectful and every relationship should has its own norms. Me and my boyfriend don't do things which may make one of us feel bad about ourselves and doubt the other.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Well, I know I'm probably going to get some hate for saying this, but... if you're just dating someone and not even engaged to them yet, then you really haven't reached the point of full commitment. So you really can't blame someone for still wanting to check out the other options. (And if you're not even dating yet, then he's technically free to flirt with other girls as well.)

However,... In your particular case, he has said that he wants to marry you. So if that's really the true intention in his heart, then he shouldn't be checking out other girls.

kiimc7836 · Answer

Here's why that sucks...

My husband gets checked out ALL the time. Even my sister got naked in front of him and begged him to fuck her. He blushed and ran to tell me.

He once got tricked into an all girls party where HE was the only guy!!!

He left and told me!

WHO DOES THAT!!!

My husband finds other girls attractive. He's not dead. I'm THE MOST attractive to him.

So he doesn't EVER check out girls with me.

Which turns me on. I secretly want to watch him fuck another girl! And he says NO!!!

He's fucking weird!!!

btbc92 · Answer

It's called lusting and it's not normal. Just unfaithful men in the making, or guys who lack self discipline and control. Women do the same thing, but I stay away from it. Before you become influenced by it. It's has nothing to do wigh what is  normal.  But chosen  behavior . Let women do that in a relationship she would be seen as a whore and unfaithful.

Anonymous · Answer

are you crazy? It's 100% normal behavior and ALMOST ALL guys AND girls will do this. To me, it's only bad if you stare. You notice it, and then you keep looking. That's not cool. But to look briefly is human nature, and in no way does it imply a person will cheat.

Aiko_E_Lara · Answer

It's not our fault we have eyes and we can be interested at something. So how about if my girlfriend is shopping and checking on those stuff she find interesting, anyone can interpret it as she is choosing the stuff over her boyfriend. You may think it's going to be a terrible comparison because i'm talking about an object not another human but anyone can still be interested at another human being. And just because you're interested at something that doesn't automatically mean you are going to do it. You just have the attention that's all and it's only a problem to anyone if they're making it a big deal. And of course it is going to be a big deal if they actually act on it.

NameWidNoFace · Answer

I know if a girl is in love with a guy she won’t find any other males attractive,
but I think it’s pretty common within males to still find other females sexually attractive, even if he has a girlfriend,
it’s jus in our nature and dna, we were made to be highly sexual and visual creatures, and the female anatomy is one of the most beautiful, sexy, and attractive, we can’t help but still find other girls sexy even if we have a girlfriend,

what seperates is and makes a guy a cheater or not is will power, self control, and commitment to his girlfriend.

Anonymous · Answer

It's not cheating. If you think it's cheating, you need to reevaluate your self-worth. People that think this is cheating are the same people that think porn is cheating. There is nothing wrong with checking someone else out. Women are funny sometimes. Lol. Let me lay down some scenarios.

Scenario 1:
If you are at the mall with your man and you are walking together and a cute girl walks by and he does a head turn to check her out... that isn't cheating... BUTTTTT it's disrespectful.

Scenario 2:
Let's say your man is in the mall alone and a cute girl walks by and he does a head turn to check her out. There is nothing wrong with that.

I just think it's highly disrespectful to ogle someone when you are with your partner. People admire nice bodies, so people are going to look when they see one.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

It's like an involuntary reflex with us. It doesn't mean that he wants to cheat! We see other attractive women every day. The opportunity is there; if he wanted to cheat, he probably would have already done so.

Anonymous · Answer

Apparently I'm the only one that doesn't find this normal. If you're in a relationship and head over heels in love with your girlfriend, and she's the most beautiful person for you in the world, then why do you need to check out other girls?
It shows me you don't love her enough, or that you compromise.
I've never trusted guys and never will. They're always in look of flashy, shiny new car.
And no, I don't accept compromise, because I have dignity

Reaperbot666 · Answer

it is almost human nature to take a quick glance for both males and females. when they notice someone or something they might like. because it fuels fantasy and desire a bit to some degree. happens when you watch any form of media. you just often don't notice it as much. however if they stare for to long at someone or something. in a more public setting that could be an issue.

oddwaffle · Answer

It's normal. Men will always do a full examination of any and all potential mates regardless. It is a genetic condition. They will do it, often, at random times, for no apparent reason and even get a hard-on when they don't want to.

Women also do the same too and probably in groups. They will always examine any man they see as a potential mate. Sometimes consciously and sometimes unconsciously.

LEYvh · Answer

Noticing someone else because of their attractive features is normal, we have eyes to see. That being said, if he drools over them and doesn’t listen to you while he’s doing it, that’s disrespectful and someone who doesn’t understand that shouldn’t be in a relationship.(:

Derekk · Answer

I don't believe that you would never think of another man sexually that wasn't your boyfriend. I've never met a woman that didn't check out other guys or watch porn or whatever. Then again, I'm older than you. And 19 yr olds often don't even know what good sex is.

jadspop · Answer

It's normal. Girls do it to weather they admit it or not.. weather or not your with someone dissent change if another person is visually pleasing... It's your actions that count... Though... There also something to be said about respecting your partners wishes... So even if he sees an attractive woman... He dosent need to "check her out" infront of you...

ZackBan · Answer

Absolutely normal. A healthy mind is also slightly horny from time to time.
Looking is normal and in fact necessary.
Now making a pass at a woman while dating, even a small one, that's cheating.
Don't let anyone tell you otherwise, humans have enough self control these things don't slip on their own

JackSmy · Answer

When he is single, yeah, checking out the others is NORMAL!!
In a relationship, the others don't even catch my eye, unless she is wearing something that the lady I am with would look AMAZING in!! Those times, I look, and she looks too, and sometimes she likes it, other times not so much!

Marcuslrh · Answer

It happens all the time specially when guys are out with friends specially single friends you can't avoid it because they are checking women out and get you to look so you can't win even if you actively try and avoid looking because you are happy in a relationship and not looking for anything

jshm2 · Answer

Bruh... unless you are claiming to be psychic, you have no idea what that guy is thinking about, when looking at anybody.

Also, for all you know, he could be secretly gay, and just putting on an act "checking out" girls to lead you on. Maybe for a bet he has with his friends.

You have eyes to look at people, just because you are insecure about yourself, does not mean you restrain and demand exclusive validation from others.

SwanHale · Answer

My dad did it all my life. And my parents have been happily married for 36 years and my father has never cheated. Just is up to the women if she lets it bother her or not. It’s unrealistic to think just cause your married they all of a sudden ONLY find their wife physically appealing to look at. That isn’t fair to you or him to think that.

Liam_Hayden · Answer

Sorry, but most straight men are going to notice girls they find attractive. Just remember that admiring beauty is not the same as wanting to purchase it.

morimeme1 · Answer

I'd say it depends, to a certain degree it's natural, in order for that not to happen at all they would have to go blind cause other women are everywhere. The issue starts when he does it blatantly on purpose and in front of you.

MrSmoothi3 · Answer

I think it is natural to be attracted to hotter girls. That is something you cannot change. It would be weird and clingy if you did not look at other girls. But looking at other girls is definitely a sign of a cheater. Its a matter about evaluating the limits.

nodnol32 · Answer

I think its natural for the eyes to automatically have a glance or perhaps look at someone attractive. I'm sure sometimes even for women in a committed relationship might not be able to keep their eyes away from a good looking man passing by. If you truly love your SO, you'll think of them even when you see an attractive person. Its not conclusive whether checking out a person is normal or the behaviour of a cheater since everyone is different.

Worshop · Answer

An ass is an ass, tits are tits. If a women wears revealing clothing, mens eyes tend to veer towards those areas. Men are just naturally attracted to those things. As long as he doesn't initiate physical contact or talk to her in a sexual manner, i'd say it's fine. To be honest, even if they're just wearing jeans or a normal shirt, i catch myself having some occasional glances. If you're uncomfortable with it, just talk to him about it. It won't necessarily mean he'll stop though.

rachel776 · Answer

girls listen to this - it is normal, let him do it, or he will sneak around with other girls and do more than look at them

Bratsondanielle · Answer

For guys it's simply a reflex action. Sexy bitch walk by their head turns automatically. Nothing to do about it and it doesn't mean that he don't want you

wetputhy · Answer

I think it’s normal to look at somebody and admit they’re attractive, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you want a relationship or anything with them! It’s normal, but you’re kind of a dick if you openly do it often or if you do it in front of your s/o

Anonymous · Answer

I feel like looking is normal. People look at stuff all the time. But I think staring is rude. A glance is normal, and even to just look and appreciate it briefly is normal. But to stare blatantly or to keep eyeing the woman is showing that he wants to talk to her not just look but wants her attention. If he continues to look at a woman while with me it is rude

Anonymous · Answer

is looking at other womens purses and shoes normal female behavior? I think we are ALL striving for "stimulation".. it's free catalyst to stimulation... except for monks who are fully satisfied in all moments of life.

and thus muslims cover up the women so other men don't look. Jewish hide their women at home.

I cannot help women with their shoe envy...

Redstang88 · Answer

Well most of us will try to avoid being obvious, but yeah we all do it

iFarted · Answer

It's unrealistic for any individual to not find another attractive even if they're taken. Doesn't matter if you're a girl or a guy... attractive people are attractive.. don't lie to yourself or to your SO. Finding another person attractive other than your SO doesn't mean they'll cheat, don't let an insecurity get the best of you.

Dougzy · Answer

everyone notices other people that are attractive that nature. It`s when they act which is the, no, no, when I walk down the street I really doo notice women with their men giving me a quick eye flick. or the 1000 yard stare as they walk past quite flattering.

SjE78 · Answer

it's normal tbf however when it starts becoming more a case of moving beyond just looking and actually making more direct and physical plans then you need to dump that guy's ass straight away cos that behaviour is more a sign of you getting replaced

whybnormal · Answer

If a girl catches his eye and he glances her way that’s very normal as guys a visually stimulated. If he glances more than one or for an extended roof of time (say more than 5 seconds) he’s letting his mind go too far.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

If I had a girlfriend, I would not be checking out other Women/ Girls?

PaganWarrior · Answer

It's only natural to look. Long as it doesn't go past just looking. Women look at other men too. They'd be lying if they said they didn't.

Jemini_Crocket · Answer

It's normal to look, staring is bad but if he looks, you call him upon it and yet he denies it... that's a problem. He should just apologize for it and then it'd be fine.

jgibsonian1986 · Answer

It's normal for a guy to have an urge to look at a woman or check her out. It can even be so that he will glance before he notices and looks away. The difference is in weather he chooses to control himself or not

Tamera952 · Answer

Normal guy behavior. To what extent, or how obvious, varies wildly.

Mauiman · Answer

Come on it's natural. Women do it too. If someone grabs your attention you're not being honest if you don't at least take a peek and see what they are all about that they would grab your attention. It doesn't mean you're a cheater at all. You're just human

RingOfFire · Answer

It's normal. It's in our DNA. Millions of years of evolution. When I was walking around with my girl, and saw a hot woman, it took every ounce of effort I could muster not to look. It got so bad sometimes I broke out in a sweat!

MountAverage · Answer

It's normal  people  behavior. Women check out men, men check out women. I can't even imagine being so insecure that I'd have a problem with my partner checking out other men. And if I was, I'd get myself help.

Is checking out other women normal guy behavior or the behavior of a cheater?

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Is checking out other women normal guy behavior or the behavior of a cheater?

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