Is checking out other women normal guy behavior or the behavior of a cheater?

[pink_and_inlove]

Just curious. I know that I would never check another guy out. It hasn’t happend to me but I think I would be sad if it did

Normal guy

Cheater

[Sbgirl]

I didn't vote because I think it is neither 'normal' or 'cheating'.

I have been out with my boyfriend and have seen him check out other women, but hardly ever fortunately. This mainly happened at the beach, with women walking by half-naked or topless. I can forgive that because they were in a state of undress and its an unusual thing to see - I mean it was in his face so I can't exactly blame him for looking, but when he kept looking back that was too much for me. It still hurt when I was in a bikini next to him and he did it so blatantly. I discussed it with him and he understood that it was hurtful for me, especially when he made it so clear. However, I knew he wasn't going to go cheat on me. He's been cheated on and knows the pain. Just looking at others doesn't mean you're willing to betray your partner.

However, I hate when people say this is 'normal guy' behaviour. I get that there is likely some biological element to it that they can't control which may cause them to have a look, but surely you can tell if you are gawking etc. Especially in front of your girlfriend I think that's disrespectful.

[GoodManDave]

Personally, I think a guy noticing a beautiful woman or "appreciating" a beautiful woman is natural.

I think men AND women are kind of prone to look at someone attractive. I've been single for ages... I admit I look. I try not to be too obvious about it, though.

But being a JERK about it - being obvious, making comments to your girlfriend; that sort of thing, is NOT natural - and it's not cool. "Wow, I wish your tits were as great as hers..." is an ass comment, and that dude should be gone. It's not only "clueless," it's mean spirited. Yelling "AWOOOOOOOGA!" and "BOYOYOYOYOYOYOING!" and making vulgar moves is an ass move, single or not.

Now, WHEN in a relationship, I try to change the channel or not blatantly look for that sort of thing if it pops up on screen, or I try to ignore ads. We'd be watching TV, or walking by a large VS display - I'd look away. A Victoria's Secret commercial comes on, or a fitness commercial comes on, I'd quickly change the channel; I don't want that extra temptation. I'd try to make it easier to NOT look. Accidentally noticing a low cut gown and looking, as an accidental habit, from time to time, it happens. If that's an issue... then it will make a lot of problems...

I dated a girl who had a bit of a respect problem when it came to noticing guys when we'd be walking or sitting at a restaurant... Full on STARING... grunting. Crap like that. She could have looked for half a second, and not made it obvious, and it would have been way different than her panting and making little grunts and staring, or following with her head when a guy walked past (not just the eyes, but looking back). Not once in a while, but a lot. It didn't last long for many reasons, but that was something that was getting to be a problem.

[Alaistair]

I voted normal guy but that's situational, I Chek out people all the time, maybe I notice something about them or something about they way they present their selves appeals to me, I tend to do it in a manner that's not completely obvious. It's not an indication that I'm cheating on my significant other or that I'm a cheater in general. I do not take offence if my lady ends up checking out some guy she would often bring it to my attention and tell me that I like his watch or how tall/well built he is or something in that regard, I know she's not a cheater as well. Im fully aware of my own short comings and so my lady doesn't feel awakrd when discussing such things with me and if it's something she would like me to adopt she just says it out loud. She loves my full bead but once in a while she would say see that guy he's fully shaved would you like to try that, and if I'm OK with it why not, it does feel great when you shave clean after carrying around all that facial hair.

[Anonymous]

People look at things that attract our attention. Be it someone looks strange or someone that is attractive. Just as how if you hear a barking dog, you're going to look. Just as how if you hear running feet, you're going to look. Just as how if you hear a siren, you're going to look. See flashy lights, you're going to look. See a nice expensive car, you're going to look. They all attract attention & people look. It's instinctual. It's what kept our ancestors from being gobbled up by predators. Humans are a prey species (we don't have canines we are omnivores, we don't have claws, etc.) so we are more conscious of our surroundings. People that aren't are typically mug/assault victims, run over by traffic, etc., etc., etc.
.
So it's natural for a guy (or gal) to look. If it becomes habitual. If the man (or woman) makes a blatant point of looking - a passing glance is normal. If the man (or woman) later comments did you see what that person was wearing, etc. Then you've a problem.

[brennanhuff]

Well that happens if someone has something interesting about them, that you;ll look at them. But honesty as a guy, even if it's glance. We will look at an attractive woman differently than a non attractive woman. And I hear women say "well I'll notice a pretty woman" It's funny the difference for straight guys. I'm secure that I can acknowledge if a guy is handsome. Niners Jimmy Garrapolo is a good looking guy. But if a dude that would be seen as very good looking walk by me and my girl, I'd hardly notice and the reason is very obvious. Pretty, or hot girl walking by, especially if she got a nice ass in like yoga pants. I wouldn't be a jerk and turn my heard, but I'd definitely notice her. I and men, our attention is very selective where it's mostly sexual related if we're looking vs women who seem to look at anyone that is pretty. Women sure have freedom from their hormones or at least compared to guys.

[VIVANT]

I don’t really think this matters. Humans look at other humans. You never notice anyone else when you are oit it’s impossible to not look at people. I look at people all the time and often they think
im checking them out and that’s awkward but honestly I’m just looking bc I like to see human beings I think this it’s very very normal 🧐🤷‍♂️ And the fact im not but they may think I am checking them out illustrates that it can look that way is just to illustrate you can’t tell what’s happening internally just by outward appearance.

hmm pay attention to how many times you notice a guy or girl when out— even for a moment. I think you will be surprised how often it is 😊

[VIVANT]

Lol illustare got on there twice

And I was asking not telling you , if you look at other people while out 😊

[ManWithThePlan123]

Depends on their attitude towards it. If you clearly see them checking out another girl and they deny it, that's a problem. If he realizes what he did and tries to stop himself from doing it again, that's not as big of an issue. It's hard when you have to train yourself to stop staring when your hormones are telling you otherwise.

[pink_and_inlove]

Why the hell are guys like this? I would never do this to my boyfriend the fuck.

[ManWithThePlan123]

Well if you really want me to go into the genetics and brain activity of it I can lol

[pink_and_inlove]

Please explain i don’t understand why are guys like this? Is it because they find the girl more attractive than they’re girlfriend thank God I've never been through this because I’m already an insecure person I’ll get sad as hell lol

[pink_and_inlove]

If a guy says that you’re the only girl that is attractive to them are they lying?

[ManWithThePlan123]

Alright so basically when it comes down to it, a guy's brain is usually looking out for multiple partners because that's common in the animal kingdom. Whether it a guy or a girl in a species, most are looking for multiple to have the greatest number of offspring. If this competition didn't exist, every species would be like a panda bear, which are too lazy to have sex lol. So in humans, guys are looking for multiple partners, usually. There are situations where a guy could think a girl is more beautiful, I mean we can't all have our top picks either because again you would run into multiple partners everywhere. I would also argue if a guy says you are the only one he finds attractive that may be true. Most guys when they start dating a girl realize that they like being in a relationship more than just trying to have sex with every girl they come across, which can be complicated in itself. Did that help answer some questions?

[pink_and_inlove]

Yeah I guess but guys that want more girls than the one that they’re with are assholes honestly but stating for a second isn’t the worst thing

[ManWithThePlan123]

I'm just saying it is human nature. The whole point of consciousness is that you are able to fight that nature. If guys don't, then you have a problem. So while I agree they are assholes, you can't blame them too much for their inability to fight against it.

[pink_and_inlove]

Are you talking about checking girls out or cheating? Because if a guy cheats he’s scum lol that’s a fact

[ManWithThePlan123]

No no I'm talking about checking girls out. If anyone cheats they are absolutely the worst.

[pink_and_inlove]

I guess I find it understandable now lol or at least more understandable

[ManWithThePlan123]

That was my intention. I wasn't saying you should start letting your boyfriend stare at other girls or anything lol

[pink_and_inlove]

Thanks for telling me because I could’ve had a break down from crying or something if this would’ve happend 😂 but now I’m mentally ready

[ManWithThePlan123]

Glad to hear it.

[Mishan97]

Depends how he does it. It’s human nature to notice other attractive people and want to look at them, so once in a while if an attractive woman passes him by and he takes a quick glance, then I’d say that’s normal because I don’t think he was intentionally trying to be disrespectful. He probably did it without thinking. If he turned his head all the way around to keep staring at her and followed her with his eyes that’s different. I think that’s more intentional and extremely disrespectful to do in front of a partner. However it isn’t necessarily indicative of cheating but it does show disrespect and disregard for your feelings. If he does that a lot then it’s a problem. My ex was a jerk and would not only check other women out but make comments to me about how they are so hot and this hurt my feelings and made me insecure. If your man does this then just break up with him, I wish I broke up with my ex sooner.

[Gagname]

You’re a very balanced person

[Arabella_Rose]

Listen I have been with 3 different guys who fell head over heels for me. None of them ever checked out other women in front of me. And trust me I kept a close eye on them. If your man stares at other women while you’re in a date, it means he doesn’t love you enough. If your man loved you enough , he wouldn’t even take an extra glance.

If you complain to him and he says “it’s natural”, you need to run for the hills

a man truly in love with the number 1 woman in his life would never do a thing like that on a date.

[Lliam]

I definitely check out beautiful women. I don't ogle or make it real obvious. I even admire a particularly cute bod when I'm with my wife. She understands. She will even point one out on occasion. One time we were on a ferry in San Francisco and a girl on a passing sail boat flashed her tits. My wife nudged me and told me to look. She's great.
I would never cheat. I basically think of a beautiful female in the same way I think of anything that's beautiful. I'm not ashamed of appreciating cute puppies, gorgeous landscapes, flowers or art. Why would I not appreciate the female form?

[talulahbee]

Totally normal. You don't just lose your ability to find other people attractive when u date. Only time it becomes a problem is if it turns to flirting or he's being disrespectful about it.

I used to joke with my ex if I saw a really hot girl be like "Omg, she's gorgeous, look at her!" and it would give him a way to check her out and know it's okay and I won't get mad. I guess it came down to security in the relationship in a way? I felt secure so it's no problem for him to appreciate good looking girls. At the end of the day he's with me. And appreciating good looks is natural.

[Nawlins34]

Look, guys are going to check out women. That's reality. Women should focus more on the context involving the act vs. the act itself.

Is he literally staring at her?
Is he ignoring you or losing track of the conversation to stare at her?
Is he intentionally checking her out more than once in the same social event?
Is he taking action to better position himself to check her out?

As a woman, THESE are the things you should be concerned about, especially if he's with you at the moment they occur.

If he's doing this next to you in a social event, he's capable of doing worse behind your back.

Outside of this, trust your guy or finally admit to yourself that you have underlying trust issues.

[TadCurious]

Jay I make a distinction between checking out and simply noticing. Like in the pic for this question the guy is with his girlfriend and he's doing a double take to stare at the girl passing by. I think that's very disrespectful and inconsiderate towards your significant other. But on the other hand, throughout the course of my day I might see women whom I think are attractive. It's like being outside and seeing something beautiful in nature. But I don't think to myself "I really want to bang her and be with her." That's because I love my girlfriend and only want to be with her. Does that make sense?😀🙋‍♂️

[bluetoblack99]

All straight guys will have impulses. Women have these too but they are infinitely more subtle (most of the time).

It comes down to how he disciplines himself. He sees a hot girl, the thought hits his mind. Does he look away? Does he stare an extra moment? Does he talk to her?

Cheating scumbags are usually pretty good on putting on a facade at the right moments. They might seem unlikely to cheat since they are often paranoid about getting caught. However most of them eventually get sloppy...

Just have a simple rule to live by:

You can look but you can’t touch.

I really don’t get why females get so hung up on this considering all things. I often see them being hypocrites about having major crushes on male celebrities. When they are out with their friends on “ladies night now” they will all openly talk about which guys is cute vs. who isn’t. Taken or not.

[Thatsamazing]

Uh, 1) The term "cheating" is erroneous and stupid, and no one should use it. ,
2) normal guy behavior, and
3) there's no such thing as "catching" him looking at other females, as though you have a right to determine where his eyesight goes-- you don't. He's allowed to look wherever he pleases, whenever he pleases. If you're so emotionally insecure and ass-backwards that you can't handle that, then please allow him to break up with you so he can find someone better.

[NameWidNoFace]

2 people disagree that your allowed to look wherever u want,
The world is retarded

[Thatsamazing]

@NameWidNoFace Yes, many people who use this site are morons.

[NameWidNoFace]

Lawl

[Mystic_Nova]

Completely normal. I'd probably be looking at the same girl (not bi or anything, I just like to look at people when I'm bored) and pretty people are pretty people, I'm comfortable enough to be alright with him looking, it's just a common human reaction.

[chrissykerdock]

i couldn't vote because neither choice applies... what it is... is disrepectful and i wouldn't tolerate that... what if we gawked at everyman they'd have a heart attack... i expect men to look but not gawk or make it so obvious... ok a girl is in a mini skirt it would be hard for a man not to look i understand that... and there's all kinds of implications when do that... but they should contain themselves.

[Hangry22]

This is why I don't date. I would never check out someone else when I have a guy and I am insecure too. And guys will be guys

[pink_and_inlove]

It hasn’t happend to me yet lol

[007kingifrit]

if you give up on dating over stuff like that you sure are easy to deter. yea men will be men but just accept them the way they are

[Hangry22]

@007kingifrit I do accept men for the way they are. But I have my insecurities and I don't think some guy is worth the emotional exhaustion my brain would have to go through.

[Starrr01]

I was somewhere with my mom not too long ago and she told me how a guy was with his girlfriend and was checking me out. Then a couple of weeks ago I was out to eat with my roommate and this guy was on a date with a girl and kept glancing over at me. I don’t think it’s cheating tendencies. Men are visual creatures. i can personally control myself if I was with my boyfriend but sometimes you can’t help it. If I saw a beautiful woman, I would look too!

[mindNsoul]

I dont know if it is normal or if it's a cheater like behavior. But I know that not all men do it. Only the ones with roaming eyes say every man does it but some are better than others in hiding it. But that's BS in my opinion. I don't find it disrespectful because I was lucky enough to not like such men in the first place.

[mindNsoul]

Just to clarify I'm talking about the type of look that is very lustful long and creepy.

[Bananaman177]

Girls check out guys just as much, but they're total hypocrites about it, just like with everything else.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/vGMfkyhe6kEhttps://www.youtube.com/embed/cVGe5ty1Ad8

[Anonymous]

Normal! There are limits and good measure to everything of course but no man (or woman) would stop finding attractive people attractive just because they are in a relationship.
Not sure what kind of newborn snowflake wrote the "tutorial" in the image you pasted, but that is completely outside of reality.
When he is checking out other women you know he is getting horny and you should capitalise on that: Nothing wrong if he gains his appetite elsewhere as long as he will still his hunger at home!

[Miley19new]

Not cheating but also not nice.
Yeah checking out is def not cheating however it's disrespectful and every relationship should has its own norms. Me and my boyfriend don't do things which may make one of us feel bad about ourselves and doubt the other.

[Jamie05rhs]

Well, I know I'm probably going to get some hate for saying this, but... if you're just dating someone and not even engaged to them yet, then you really haven't reached the point of full commitment. So you really can't blame someone for still wanting to check out the other options. (And if you're not even dating yet, then he's technically free to flirt with other girls as well.)

However,... In your particular case, he has said that he wants to marry you. So if that's really the true intention in his heart, then he shouldn't be checking out other girls.

[kiimc7836]

Here's why that sucks...

My husband gets checked out ALL the time. Even my sister got naked in front of him and begged him to fuck her. He blushed and ran to tell me.

He once got tricked into an all girls party where HE was the only guy!!!

He left and told me!

WHO DOES THAT!!!

My husband finds other girls attractive. He's not dead. I'm THE MOST attractive to him.

So he doesn't EVER check out girls with me.

Which turns me on. I secretly want to watch him fuck another girl! And he says NO!!!

He's fucking weird!!!