Why are smart women struggle to be as successful in love?

[Luna1998]

I have been told many times that I need to act like im helpless sometimes, be more weak, ask guys for more helps, and stay low to be able to attractive for men. Because men like to be around girls with "feminine" energy. I work hard and study hard to get myself and my family a better life yet its not what guys wanted?

I was taught to be able to do lots of things by myself, i rarely ask for help cause i think im able to find the faster and easier ways than just sit and wait. I dont stay quiet when i have questions or when i feel like something need to be done, many said because i behave like that, thats why i scare men away, because im good on my own.

From personal observation and experiences, girls my age around me that are attractive would be the petite, pretty, and lots more feminine. Which is a good thing tbh, sometimes just a pretty face is enough, they dont need good grades or life skills.

Is it true that guys dont like smart and tough girls? Not physically tough i mean. Do i need to really change more?

[potatoiswhoiam]

Do you want to attract guys in general or you want to attract someone who is gonna be right for you? If you want the latter, which would be ten times better than just wanting the attention and validation that you're worth of love, then maybe being patient is gonna be worth it. You don't wanna become someone you're not just for someone to like you. There are plenty of guys who are gonna find you attractive. There is someone out there for everyone. If you had bad qualities, you have to change them yeah. If you're rude or lazy or entitled, then I would have said, yes, you expect too much, guys wouldn't wanna be with someone like you. But you have a distinct personality and there's nothing wrong with that. Flaunt it and be proud of who you are. If a man feels intimidated by your independency and/or is "scared away" by you, would you actually want him? Don't think so.

[AsDaGask]

I think the bigger issue is that smart girls gravitate towards smart men, and only realise too late that the smart guy was actually a narcissist.

[Luna1998]

Super agree 😂

[jmstarling]

I agree with that, too. Intelligent people are often the least confident, and most people are attracted by confidence.

[Bandit74]

I think it can potentially scare guys off but also I think girls who are smart and tough tend to have higher standards and as such will have a smaller percentage of guys available who meet those standards.

Also in regards to intelligence its more than just whether you're smarter its also how its perceived which is determined by your attitude and also face/voice. Like if you're arrogant, condescending and have a resting bitch face or harsh voice that will turns guys off far more than just the intelligence gap.

On the opposite end I had a crush on a girl who was in my opinionfar more intelligent than me but I still liked her because and thought she was feminine because she kind, humble, easy to talk to with a soft voice and playful demeanor.

[Red_Arrow]

I do not know the percentages, but lots of men match up with smart women. Look at professional women (medical, engineering, etc.) and it seems most are married. Your problem, according to what you have said in the past, is a lack of self confidence. I think if you would accept how interesting and desirable you are, you will find guys really looking for your love. And I hope that comes soon for you. You deserve to enjoy love!

[Luna1998]

I probably get tricked and played with my feeling lol

[Red_Arrow]

I hope not. Have confidence but also think clearly. Lots of guys would love you, just pick the right ones.

[Bratsondanielle]

Lol I cut down firewood and shoot the occasional predator who hunts my chicken and after that I check the oil and coolant on the truck and my sexy boyfriend loooovveees me all over the place. He can have any girl he wants but choose me

[Luna1998]

Im jealous! He is lucky to have you

[Bratsondanielle]

And visa versa I assure you

[Anonymous]

at least you planned for your family.
You got much better chances.
I don't even want to ever get pregnant. So my chances are 1% to be successful in love.

Men only want obedient woman, caring and who will produce babies so that they can control her, make family and feel like a boss.
Ironically they want a smart woman but also don't want a woman who will see right through their BS and call them out for their cheating, being manipulative or sneaky.

[Opinion Owner]

Men want weak, dependent woman with beautiful face so that they can control her and THREATEN to divorce if she doesn't follow him. PLEASE DO WHAT YOU'RE DOING. You are perfect and that's what toxic men are scared of - not being able to control you.

[pizzalovershouse]

No it just has to do with the way your body language an facial expression is if i have a facial expression like nothing other than happy or in a good mood people are not saying anything to me an the body language goes with it so thats what we present or if we look like a slob or wear clothes that make us look a certainty personality then both sexes get treated that way

[I-C3_ME]

Change? No, all the things you said are really attractive to me. Hell i might even prefer a woman like you then a stereotypical feminine girl

[Luna1998]

Thank you😊

[berserk945]

It can be a turn off if a girl is to much of a fenimist and refuses help from a guy. Now i do like a girl that can handle herself and doesn't always need my help and can get down and durty. However one thing that guys are wired for is to feel useful and protect their girl and family.

[Doflamingo1]

It might have to do with your standards. I don’t really know much about you, as you don’t say whether men actually hit on your or not.

The answer to your question is no. If a man is attracted to you he will approach you.

[Sergian]

Oh darling you will find someone someday trust me, and he will be worth it

[Luna1998]

Thank you 💗

[Sergian]

You are welcome babe❣

[TadCurious]

Luna I don't think you should change. The things you describe about yourself are very positive and admirable qualities.

[Avicenna]

No, the problem is usually that Expectations are to high thanks to hypergamy.

[jasco]

well i don't think smart women have to struggle in getting a boyfriend i think its there standards and where there looking

[240771damog]

No matter what guys think or how other girls act don’t change who you are!

[Juxtapose]

I'm a man but I don't want submission. I just want someone who I can connect well with.

[Anonymous]

No I like smart women. No reason to change yourself for love. If you aren't yourself when they fall in love with you are they really in love with you?

[Flower7]

Because lots of guys have low self-esteem.

[bklynbadboy1]

No that's not you problem your problem is you want love but your not open to receiving it

[Tstrbrainer]

No no no, don't change. Be a strong and independent woman

[Kelly6]

Because they get very picky
I guess

[TheFlak38]

"smart women" the joke

[Anonymous]

Because of lack of time, they're always busy.