Is it bad that I'm mostly starting conversation with my crush although he carries our conversation?

[Anonymous]

He seems to like talking to me. His answers are decent and sometimes even long. He uses a lot of emojis and he jokes with me.

I'm just sad that I have to be the one to text him first.

[Well_Wisher]

I can related and tell you exactly how the guy actually feels. I have been in that situation, I dont know whether she has a crush on me or not but she is the one who 90% starts the conversation but I am the one who carrier the conversation. I really after a point feel boring to carry the conversation. Her replies shows that she is totally into having long conversation but she dont put that efforts to make conversations long enough. So I would recommend you to not just start the conversation but when you feel that conversation is getting bit boring or he is out of stuffs to speak you take the conversation ahead from that point. Trust me nothing would make a guy like you more than something like giving him your time and you enjoying to have long conversation with him.

[Asker]

Why won't u initiate conversations with her?

[Well_Wisher]

To be honest I really like to have conversation with her but sometimes it makes me feel not to initiate the conversation as I know that I have to carry the conversation. She would just be talking regular and same stuff all the time so to make it interesting I have to lead everytime. But please don't get confused I and don't like to have a chat with her. I actually like when both of the person equally involve or sometimes its 30-70 situation. But if its always you who have to carry I would take a step back and wait for her to initiate and show that she also wants to have a conversation.

[Asker]

Tbh I have also carried the conversation and ask him question.

[Well_Wisher]

If that the case then you don't need to worry. If he carries the conversation even after your questions are over or you stopped talking trust me he like to have a chat with you. I really think that if you really like him, you should confront him. Maybe he think the same away you feel. You can perfectly find the percentage of he liking you back as you are the one who experiences his messages and no one better than you can tell how much he is involved in having a conversation with you.

[Asker]

So it's possible that guy likes a girl but for some reasons won't text her first?

[Well_Wisher]

Why not its completely possible. I bet there are more people like me. I have been many times pointed by my best friend that I never initiate the conversation. She asks me why is it so but as always I never had a appropriate answer. The think is I never want to bore the person unless the person is willing to be bored LOL. Jokes apart I seriously don't have any answer to this question but definitely I only initiate conversation when I really have something to say or I need some help.

[Gooblegobble]

He probably likes you a lot but is in his own head and probably thinks you don't want to talk to him. Every time you start a conversation he is surprised and happy that you still remember he exists. Just let him know how you feel.

[Asker]

Interesting... I actually stopped messaging him which I shouldn't probably have done...

[Gooblegobble]

Guys don't talk to someone if they don't want to. He probably wants to reach out to you, but is worried that since you already stopped messaging him, that you're done with him. It's a self fulfilling prophecy, really. He thinks there's no way someone like you could actually like him, so he's afraid to pursue you, but through that fear, he actually makes you lose interest because you think he is uninterested. If you open up to him about it, he will likely come out of his shell. If you don't want to deal with that shyness, then he will probably never contact you again anyway, so you're good.

[Asker]

So if he didn't want to talk to me he wouldn't bother to reply to me?

[Gooblegobble]

If he responds with like one word replies and isn't showing any interest in you as a person, he is not interested. If he is actually having a conversation, but the only problem is that he won't initiate, he likes you, but is shy. That's how I am, at least. I'm really shy and suffer the same problems as this guy, it seems. People that I'm completely in love with think that I don't even like them because I'm apparently unable to show my interest until I know for sure they like me too.

[Asker]

So u too would'nt initiate conversation with a girl u like if ur not sure that she likes u?

[Gooblegobble]

The more I liked her, the less likely I would be to initiate. I'd be too concerned with bothering her and turning her off, or I would assume she doesn't want to hear from me. If a girl I liked went silent, I would probably try to follow up, but it would take a few days to build up to it. I would have to realize I like talking to her more than I am afraid of being rejected.

[Asker]

Me and this guy haven't talked for almost 2 months :// he just watches ALL of my instagram story updates.

[Gooblegobble]

That's a bizarre level of shyness, I suppose. I would say he absolutely likes you and you have to decide to either approach him about it or move on at this point. If he still hasn't managed to come to you after two months though, I don't know, it's a bit much. I was thinking this was like a week long gap or something.

[Asker]

Why do u think he absolutely likes me?

[Gooblegobble]

He hasn't heard from you in two months and still cares enough to look at your instagram. Maybe that's just a younger person thing, though. If I cared enough to open instagram ever, it means I'm into someone. If you still like him, just try talking to him. If you cared enough to come on here and post a question about him, you must still like him. Maybe just tell him you like him, but him not initiating confuses you. One of you has to be vulnerable at some point if you want any chance to be together and it looks like he is not willing to yet.

[Asker]

He's actually same age as u (29). So ur not familiar with instagram?

[Gooblegobble]

No, if my crush had an Instagram or wanted me to follow it, I would figure it out though. That’s why I would assume he likes you a lot. Or he’s just trolling around on Instagram to look at girls. Maybe if he follows a ton of ass models or whatever is on Instagram then it isn’t as big a deal, I guess.

[Gooblegobble]

Also, if you are much younger he may feel insecure about the entire thing. He may feel uncomfortable about being judged for pursuing you so he is extra cautious. He may be waiting for full confirmation that he is not taking advantage of you or reading the situation wrong. I’ve seen people my age being called a predator for talking to 19 and 20 year olds like they can’t genuinely have things in common.

[Asker]

Tbh am not that much younger than him. Also he follows many ordinary girls on instagram (not models). So I don't know.

[Gooblegobble]

He could just be a tool lmao, I don't know. I’m very shy and insecure, but if I really like someone, I won’t let them leave without at least trying once. After that, I take the hint. Maybe you just didn’t mean enough to him to follow up on when you stopped being there for him. That isn’t a judgement on you, though. Sometimes people just don’t click. Now that I’ve thought about it for a while, I would say either way just move on and find someone who seeks you out when you aren’t around.