If a woman sees me as a potential threat or a danger, I completely understand. I'm on the taller side, and she has no idea what my character is like. I could be the kind of guy who would take a bullet for her or I could be someone who would attack her or worse. She doesn't know, so I understand her caution. And I try to signal as clearly as possible that I am uninterested in her and not a threat to her.
But yes, it does make me sad. That women feel so unsafe, and that they have good reason to. Because if I'm alone and there's someone near who gives off a strong sense of danger or who is much bigger than me, I feel that same sense of fear. Or at least a very similar one. And it's definitely not a pleasant feeling.
It kinda sucks tbh being someone that would protect others, but I also get it. You need to protect yourself before trusting a stranger and it's not like we have a big neon sign above our heads that reveals what our intentions or character is. But ya it does suck a little bit to potentially be seen that way and avoided.
Being a paralyzed man makes it' difficult to get the attention of a woman or if I do I'm laughed at when I ask them out. I'm strong, still get hard, financially stable, and growing. It sucks not remembering what a woman laying on my chest feels like. 9 years since I have been with a woman in any personal way
It's pretty sexist when you think about it, but I understand if someone has been victimized by a man would think that. Any victims of some sort of violence or otherwise abuse (including men) would avoid anyone who shares characteristics with the perpetrator, but this kind of thinking isn't healthy as you would be living the rest of your life in constant paranoia if nothing gets done about it.
Let's go back to the situation you describe. I am not usually the type to care what some random moron would think of me but I am backing away in this case because I do not feel like living the rest of my life with the world on my ass for being a monster because I have been confused as one and got the cops called on me just because my home just happens to be in the same direction as hers.
I was disfellowshipped in 1998 for a brief affair with a divorced woman of 3 boys. I lost all my friends and even the woman threw me under the bus to save herself. I have two maybe 3 people now that I would call friends but we are not really social and I don't date. I speak reams in texts, many pages, I can construct a masterpiece. Talking is for joking and "I love you"s. Having been REALLY alone for 21 years I can say I have more empathy for others, am more forgiving of their faults and cherish little moments with people more than before.
Sort of bittersweet. It feels nice to be left alone, as I like to be left in my lonesome. Some days my shift leaves me walking home in the dark. To be seen as threatening is the last thing I want. That doesn't feel nice so I'd rather not be seen at all. Sometimes its hard to decide whether to make my presence obvious or discreet. Oh, the dilemma...
How I feel about it? Pretty good. Bring non-threatening makes it much more likely that someone will attempt to threaten me.
You assume that being seen as a threat is per default a negative thing. It is not. Life's not always sunshine and rainbows. Its not about being a non-threat. It is about being potentially threatening but deciding not to if not absolutely necessary. But try to harm me in any way possible from emotional, financial, physical, etc. And I gonna take you down.
I live in South Africa. While I'm not tall by South African standards (I'm 6') until recently I weighed in at around 230lbs with a 52" chest. I understand people crossing the road to avoid me. I carry a telescopic baton for self defence myself. This society is one where you need to be able to defend yourself since you can't rely on the police to show up at all, never mind for a violent crime.
I've been avoided most of my life by females whether being in school, outside, etc... but i think its because of my extremely skinny tall stature and looks, Though I don't really care what people think of me when it comes to looks. They definitely don't see me as a threat.
I have crossed to the other side as a courtesy, especially if they are walking their dogs or because of covid.
Most of the time they smile and wave, even if I cross to the other side of the road.
I prefer it , I simply want to go about my business without randoms bugging me , a female friend of mine said I have the icy expression of the T-1000 Terminator , played brilliantly by Robert Patrick in Terminator 2. You are actually far more likely to be attacked if you are male , normally by a group of cowardly males.
I don't know if other people think I'm an threat. But when I'm outside in the dark. I always carry an pocket knife with me just in case I have to defend myself. Because there are too much stories and newsarticles locally about people getting attacked in the night when he/she is walking on the streets.
Doesn't bother much as I want people to avoid me so I don't have to avoid them. Walking at night is still scary even as a man. Anybody can hurt you. It's not really that bad when you realize the other person is probably a little scared too.
Saying 'hi' in a friendly voice is a good way to defuse the stress.
I don't fit any of the answers. I understand that I might be seen as a threat, but I don't feel sad or pissed about it. I am 6'2, I have broad shoulders so at night I already had girls crossing the street or speeding up their walk in front of me. I just roll my eyes and chuckle. Like "Why did you need to do that? I am just walking." I don't mind at all I just keep on my way.
I would actually enjoy if everyone would go on the opposite side of the road when they see me, especially during these times. Unfortunately I think I look too approachable, people don't seem to notice me unless I have the same path as them, at which point they assume I'm following them and randomly speed up or down to check, or even run away. Honestly it's a little funny
I understand as a Man that Women fear going out late at night and for myself, I can't go out there by myself for one reason I have poor balance and a fall risk but I can understand that not all people can be trusted, Now if a Woman avoided me I would understand cause not all Men can be trusted
Doesn't feel good but if I'm out walking at night and I see someone, anyone walking the same way as me on the same side of the street, I take alternate routes to where I am walking, even if it turns out to be a longer route, it's just better to not get called a creep or made to feel like I'm a creep.
I am familiar with the statistics on how many women experience sexual intimidation (I think multiple unis did a study showing 75+% of women over 18) so I totally get it. Itβs sad, but I get it. As for how I personally feel about it, you get used to it.
It's the opposite for me. I live in a high crime area and most people generally know who I am. So when I walk the streets at night ( very rarely and early at night ) women and probably some men feel more comfortable if I'm walking with or around them.
Never in my life have I ever noticed a woman acting uncomfortable or crossing the street if I'm walking behind or approaching her. And tbf if they did I wouldn't really care. Safety is everyone's responsibility
I'm 5'4" and I look at least 5 years younger than I am, so I don't think I'm seen as a threat too often. Though I do try to avoid doing obvious things that might freak someone out. But I feel on guard against bigger guys pretty often
I understand being seen as a potential threat, and I also worry about being a victim as well. I walk or ride my bike a lot at night, and I avoid others, male or female or undetermined, because I don't want trouble, and I don't intend to cause trouble. The one time it did happen despite my precautions, it didn't turn out well for anyone involved, including me. No more of that!
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If a woman sees me as a potential threat or a danger, I completely understand. I'm on the taller side, and she has no idea what my character is like. I could be the kind of guy who would take a bullet for her or I could be someone who would attack her or worse. She doesn't know, so I understand her caution. And I try to signal as clearly as possible that I am uninterested in her and not a threat to her.
But yes, it does make me sad. That women feel so unsafe, and that they have good reason to. Because if I'm alone and there's someone near who gives off a strong sense of danger or who is much bigger than me, I feel that same sense of fear. Or at least a very similar one. And it's definitely not a pleasant feeling.
It kinda sucks tbh being someone that would protect others, but I also get it. You need to protect yourself before trusting a stranger and it's not like we have a big neon sign above our heads that reveals what our intentions or character is. But ya it does suck a little bit to potentially be seen that way and avoided.
Being a paralyzed man makes it' difficult to get the attention of a woman or if I do I'm laughed at when I ask them out. I'm strong, still get hard, financially stable, and growing. It sucks not remembering what a woman laying on my chest feels like. 9 years since I have been with a woman in any personal way
πππ
Thanks for the reply. πππ
It's pretty sexist when you think about it, but I understand if someone has been victimized by a man would think that. Any victims of some sort of violence or otherwise abuse (including men) would avoid anyone who shares characteristics with the perpetrator, but this kind of thinking isn't healthy as you would be living the rest of your life in constant paranoia if nothing gets done about it.
Let's go back to the situation you describe. I am not usually the type to care what some random moron would think of me but I am backing away in this case because I do not feel like living the rest of my life with the world on my ass for being a monster because I have been confused as one and got the cops called on me just because my home just happens to be in the same direction as hers.
I was disfellowshipped in 1998 for a brief affair with a divorced woman of 3 boys. I lost all my friends and even the woman threw me under the bus to save herself. I have two maybe 3 people now that I would call friends but we are not really social and I don't date.
I speak reams in texts, many pages, I can construct a masterpiece. Talking is for joking and "I love you"s.
Having been REALLY alone for 21 years I can say I have more empathy for others, am more forgiving of their faults and cherish little moments with people more than before.
Sort of bittersweet. It feels nice to be left alone, as I like to be left in my lonesome. Some days my shift leaves me walking home in the dark. To be seen as threatening is the last thing I want. That doesn't feel nice so I'd rather not be seen at all. Sometimes its hard to decide whether to make my presence obvious or discreet. Oh, the dilemma...
How I feel about it? Pretty good. Bring non-threatening makes it much more likely that someone will attempt to threaten me.
You assume that being seen as a threat is per default a negative thing. It is not. Life's not always sunshine and rainbows. Its not about being a non-threat. It is about being potentially threatening but deciding not to if not absolutely necessary. But try to harm me in any way possible from emotional, financial, physical, etc. And I gonna take you down.
I live in South Africa. While I'm not tall by South African standards (I'm 6') until recently I weighed in at around 230lbs with a 52" chest. I understand people crossing the road to avoid me. I carry a telescopic baton for self defence myself. This society is one where you need to be able to defend yourself since you can't rely on the police to show up at all, never mind for a violent crime.
I've been avoided most of my life by females whether being in school, outside, etc... but i think its because of my extremely skinny tall stature and looks, Though I don't really care what people think of me when it comes to looks. They definitely don't see me as a threat.
I have crossed to the other side as a courtesy, especially if they are walking their dogs or because of covid.
Most of the time they smile and wave, even if I cross to the other side of the road.
I prefer it , I simply want to go about my business without randoms bugging me , a female friend of mine said I have the icy expression of the T-1000 Terminator , played brilliantly by Robert Patrick in Terminator 2. You are actually far more likely to be attacked if you are male , normally by a group of cowardly males.
[ YOU WILL BE TERMINATED ]
I don't know if other people think I'm an threat. But when I'm outside in the dark. I always carry an pocket knife with me just in case I have to defend myself. Because there are too much stories and newsarticles locally about people getting attacked in the night when he/she is walking on the streets.
Doesn't bother much as I want people to avoid me so I don't have to avoid them. Walking at night is still scary even as a man. Anybody can hurt you. It's not really that bad when you realize the other person is probably a little scared too.
Saying 'hi' in a friendly voice is a good way to defuse the stress.
Great comment. I agree. Thank you. π
I don't fit any of the answers.
I understand that I might be seen as a threat, but I don't feel sad or pissed about it.
I am 6'2, I have broad shoulders so at night I already had girls crossing the street or speeding up their walk in front of me.
I just roll my eyes and chuckle. Like "Why did you need to do that? I am just walking."
I don't mind at all I just keep on my way.
I would actually enjoy if everyone would go on the opposite side of the road when they see me, especially during these times. Unfortunately I think I look too approachable, people don't seem to notice me unless I have the same path as them, at which point they assume I'm following them and randomly speed up or down to check, or even run away. Honestly it's a little funny
I understand as a Man that Women fear going out late at night and for myself, I can't go out there by myself for one reason I have poor balance and a fall risk but I can understand that not all people can be trusted, Now if a Woman avoided me I would understand cause not all Men can be trusted
Doesn't feel good but if I'm out walking at night and I see someone, anyone walking the same way as me on the same side of the street, I take alternate routes to where I am walking, even if it turns out to be a longer route, it's just better to not get called a creep or made to feel like I'm a creep.
I am familiar with the statistics on how many women experience sexual intimidation (I think multiple unis did a study showing 75+% of women over 18) so I totally get it. Itβs sad, but I get it. As for how I personally feel about it, you get used to it.
It's the opposite for me. I live in a high crime area and most people generally know who I am. So when I walk the streets at night ( very rarely and early at night ) women and probably some men feel more comfortable if I'm walking with or around them.
Never in my life have I ever noticed a woman acting uncomfortable or crossing the street if I'm walking behind or approaching her. And tbf if they did I wouldn't really care. Safety is everyone's responsibility
I'm 5'4" and I look at least 5 years younger than I am, so I don't think I'm seen as a threat too often. Though I do try to avoid doing obvious things that might freak someone out. But I feel on guard against bigger guys pretty often
I understand being seen as a potential threat, and I also worry about being a victim as well. I walk or ride my bike a lot at night, and I avoid others, male or female or undetermined, because I don't want trouble, and I don't intend to cause trouble. The one time it did happen despite my precautions, it didn't turn out well for anyone involved, including me. No more of that!