Men, I have a question for you (and ladies can join in too.) How do you feel when walking outside, mostly at night, that some people see you as a potential threat/danger? I'm not saying all men are a threat, but men do commit the majority of violent crimes, so there is always a small inherent risk with strangers.
I go for walks a lot at night. I always have. I did a lot of research on wireless ear phones recently, and I specifically chose some that are not noise-cancelling. I really don't like that feeling of sound isolation. It's very muffling and I really like to hear my environment around me.
Many guys seem to give a wide berth, or walk on the opposite side of the street or pathway when they see someone approaching. Probably for two Reasons. 1. Out of courtesy, like 'Hey, I'm not a threat to you', and 2. They prefer avoiding other people so they don't have to acknowledge them. (This happens more in densely populated cities than in rural areas. I've lived in both. There's less anonymity and more accountability with neighbours in smaller towns, but not cities. You get so little true alone time and privacy when you're out, people tend to want at least somewhat of a bubble around them when they're walking. Part of that is avoiding eye contact.)
But how do you feel about being considered a low-grade potential threat by some? Does it bother you? Is it dependent on your size? How do you feel, yourself, when other men are on your same pathway in the dark?And then, if you want to, you can answer the title question in a broader context.
Maybe you also want to talk about that.
I understand being seen as a potential threat/danger, but I am a little sad about it.
I somewhat understand being seen as a potential threat/danger, but it pisses me off too.
I am never seen as a potential threat/danger, and I worry about that myself.
By women, it's a blow to the confidence. You really get big boost, when girls are nice. But your life can seriously be impacted when girls avoid you. It's like am I a normal attractive person or do others see me like a serial killer, am I doing this right... You seriously start to doubt yourself as a person, as a man specifically, and you bring shame on yourself because you are not seen as wanted or desired. But from both genders that's of course even worse and that's depression and suicidal thoughts right there
I have to deal with it from another perspective because I have a lot more than some of you guys to deal with as a black man I am avoided on a far different level. I'm not exactly a small person at all and the added bonus of being a man as well as a black man who is considered to be everything you have been told to avoid contact at all costs because of ignorance and not being around people who are not just like you has served you a great disservice.
I 100% agree with you. I had written a whole other paragraph in this question initially, but I ran out of characters and so I scrapped that whole section, but I later felt like I didn't write enough on the topic. I personally hardly ever do cross the street or move far out of the way of other people. I am so sensitive to this stuff, and social cohesion in general, that I can't even bring myself to put that out there into the world. Unless I see a person who truly is acting sketch, or erratic, or going to beg me for money or something. (This is how I get wrangled into surveys and time share lectures! No more!) With all others, I just stay the course (unless I was planning to change direction soon anyway, that must look like something, when it wasn't.) And I had written that with black guys, in particular, I am often consciously more friendly, not less. Because I feel sad about what they/you must go through. Although they never do smile back at me if and when I do. Though I have concluded that maybe there wasn't time, these things happen so fast. Even to write something like this... is it going to see as something negative? Like, I have been criticized on here for what was empathy, and they took as pity. So you can't win sometimes. Anyway, can't worry about stuff like that, if the intent was good. So yeah, I feel you. It is often on my mind. Your last sentence was poignant and true. š
I didnāt vote, because Iām not represented by the options. I see being viewed as a threat as part of my male privilege. It provides me with additional security in our society. I am able to enjoy walking around at night with headphones on, fully immersed in my own thoughts, without any fear of being attacked. When I was living in Rio De Janeiro, I would often go out at night, and people asked me if I was afraid. My reply was that if we are in a dark alley and Iām walking toward someone and they are walking toward me, they are more likely to be the one afraid. I donāt see myself as untouchable, and I do keep my guard up in certain situations because I am aware of potential danger. One example: I was wondering around the streets of San Salvador, the capital of El Salvador, at night. I found myself off the beaten track in an unfamiliar and quieter neighborhood, and there was a large group of men partying in the street, the smell of marijuana in the air, and they started to call me over. I promptly turned around around and walked the other way back to the main street with shops and armed soldiers patrolling. Reflecting, I donāt identify my feelings as āfearā in that particular situation; it was more a realization that I was in potential danger and needed to take action immediately. My senses sharpened as my sympathetic system autonomic nervous system kicked in, and I paid attention to mostly the sound behind me to determine if anyone was following me. I have two predetermined tactics for this type of scenario if I am in fact being mugged: 1. I generally carry a āfake bankrollā of small denomination notes wrapped in a larger denomination note (e. g. Nineteen $1 bills wrapped in one $20 bill.) to show and toss in one direction and run in the opposite direction.2. To run not at full sprint, but at a more calm pace. The idea being that if I am pursued, I am likely in better fitness condition than my attacker (s), and if they catch up to me after a block or two, they will be winded but I wonāt, giving me an advantage in combat. I have never been required to test either of these strategies. I hadnāt considered the fear of females previously, but I had a conversation with some friends of mine where I expressed being pissed off about women crossing the street to avoid me, because it was insulting. As I explained above, I understood a person in a dark alley is going to be more scared of me than I am of them, but not that it is this potentially paralyzing level fear. They explained patiently that women did this in order to avoid danger, and to not take it personally, but that men are historically dangerous to women. I realized they were right, and I try to be considerate and cross the street or otherwise avoid getting too close to women now at night or in isolated areas.
When I walk to enjoy the peace and solitude of nature , it is often subdued by today's society and media that that have for a fact implanted irrational thoughts into the minds of many to be very aware or weary of that strange dangerous man walking alone. America has a serious problem sexualizing everything. Or just a fear that a man alone is suspicious and that he may snatch my purse etc. Women are often to blame for using the words weird and creepy. Particular ly the word weird followed by creepy. Like a man just standing in a park trying to be alone overlooking a pond. When suddenly hears a bunch of girls uptalking like omg whats that guy doing just standing there. Yah like so weird, kinda like yah creepy. Well maybe that man lost his wife to cancer and they used to enjoy walking the park or trail. Today you can't even pay a compliment to someone without them thinking there must be some underlying motive. A man that is still single at 40 or 50 for Gosh sake is perceived to be weird. Im transgender and don't bother anyone. But to walk dressed a little different, dressed in shorts a little too short must mean I'm a pervert. But this problem with a man walking alone started long before my gender identity form of dress. It is first directly related to how media has cherry picked what ever fits their narrative. And by fact, fear sells. Negativity sells. There is no explosion of men committing crimes, but by the way media reports it you'd think the world was ending. So in reading your comments building up to this subject, that men perpetrate more crime. What crime and in what context. Per capita yes men commit more sex crimes. But did you know that per capita in studied areas that although women commit fewer sex crimes, that those women are committing more serious sex crimes and the fact that males victimized substantially dont report those crimes. Female school teachers get a slap on the hand as opposed to male counterpart. Because society and media and Hollywood say good going boy, you just got laid by your teacher. The black man walking alone has bigger fears as police are violating his rights 27 different ways just because someone said a black man medium height and weight. That could be anyone within two miles of 50, 000 men in New York, Chicago, Milwaukee. A man can't even give his own kids a bath anymore. White, black, yellow, red. All these issues lead up to why a man walking alone must be weird, creepy. Not my mind making it up, because I've heard it. I've seen it. Imperical evidence /facts prove it. Mathematics never lie. And I teach mathematics. Mathematics universally /is the universal language that again explains the universe through everything narrowed down to equations. Government has one objective. To have everyone in a fine tuned data base. Above and beyond your social security number. All I want to do is take a walk alone. Sometimes. But you better only be between 20 and 35 years old with a perfect body shape with 150 dollar Nike tennis shoes, wearing the perfect suburban exercise outfit to fit in and be accepted
I really didn't understand this concept until I read an interview with a FtM transgender going through the reassignment process. She nay he spoke about being perceived as a threat after starting to live as a man. And it opened me up to pay attention to that dynamic. Until that time I hadn't even noticed. There's a lot to unpack here so bear with me. One is the concept that men are inherently violent or dangerous. I'm not sure exactly how true this is. As women have a tendency to be allowed a lot more violence then men, and it is socially acceptable for a woman to strike a man in public as opposed to the opposite. I don't think that this has been actually studied. I do know that rape has been shown to be more egalitarian then we expected (CDCs study of sexual assault has shown that men and women both are raped and rape at roughly the same rate). I would imagine that if we look at empirical data that we'd find that this assumption is probably false or at least not nearly as different as we expect. I do understand that men are convicted much more often, but that doesn't necessarily equate to actual violent acts.
The second is the difference in perception between the genders. It has been reported in virtually every case of hormonal therapy for transgender reassignment that men including women to men are naturally less timid and afraid, while women including men to women have a natural caution. This suggests that a lot of the fear/caution is hormonal response and gender specific. I have read articles written by women where they assign mal intent purely on instict rather than any aggression. This is interesting to me, as well as frightening as a scared person is much more likely to lash out. (See point one above)
As men are the majority of victims of violent crime (at least as far as hospitalization and police reports) this also suggests that there is a skewed perception of the level of threat.
Conclusion, it is a mistake to gender threats. I was always told to avoid strange MEN. Of course I'm the victim of a violent crime that was perpetrated by women. It is better to be cautious around strangers, and not to assume benign intent if another happens to be a woman, or even presenting as a woman.
I 100% totally get it, but it's frustrating as hell. Like you have to understand that from our perspective, the numbers just don't support the idea that every man is potential rapist. We catch so so so much shit because of the asshole men who are actually a danger to women, but the reality is that so few of us are that poorly behaved that it feels like overkill to vilify the good men out there. That being said, I totally understand why that wouldn't matter to a woman if she becomes a rape victim.
I used to follow an Insta model who got raped when she was out hiking with a male friend. This guy was an absolute softie, the rapist was holding some kind of weapon. He forced the friend to rape the model, and then raped the model himself; it was absolutely horrible. Sadly, the rapist got away with it. Now, this model is a diehard feminist, isn't interested in dating, has no need for any man etc... but the thought did cross my mind that maybe she wouldn't have gotten raped if she hadn't gone hiking with an absolute pussy.
Maybe I'll write on your comment here... I actually usually make a point of not crossing the street to avoid people (unless they're acting loud, erratic, crazy, etc.) I'm sort of against that. Except for the city/personal space thing I mentioned. I ran out of characters in the body of the q, and I thought maybe it was superfluous, but I sort of lean the other way. While at the same time, I often notice that it's the very thing men may be doing. I was just wondering. I even make a point of smiling or greeting certain races very consciously [black guys, Middle Eastern, for instance] because I really do empathize with them about this. They rarely greet me with a smile back though.
The first time it happened with me i was confused, and thought like "am i really that threatening, or do i look like someone who would cause harm to anyone" and it made me a bit sad about it, because women shouldn't feel fearful while walking at night they Don't deserve this.. After that i always whenever i see a woman walking towards me i would cross to the other sideway before her or would pass her if she was walking infront of me, just so she would feel safer (or that's what i think she might feel).
Also, men sometimes would avoid men too which also happened with me as well, i was avoided by another man
I think over the years of growing up we develope this fear after hearing a lot of cases or when our parents always warn us to be cautious while walking/driving especially at night, and to never go alone at night and such, so that anxiety would be triggered when we encounter such thing.
Also, crimes happen by men or males in general because Men are not seen or looked over as much as women in mental health category, even today after all the campaigns that's supporting men's mental health, we still need more and more of that, because not eveyone has self awareness, and the knowledge on how to control his self/mind/thoughts. Not defending or giving reasons to not be blamed, No. But if the person who committed a crime had a good, taken cared of mentality, he wouldn't have done the crime, as well as if she was a she (which is a very low percentage compared).
Also the way parents upbring their child plays a big role in his mentality, if it was in a healthy way, environment, or not.
After all, in every bad person there's good, and in every good person there's bad, you even let the good thoughts win or the bad ones win, and this needs self awareness, or beliefs (which technically would aware you of the bad thoughts).
Why do so many men think there aren't enough public services for male mental health, when the services that do exist are for everyone? Doesn't it just come down to men not seeking help as much as women do? Women also tend to go to their network of friends, etc. more, to talk. I think a bigger issue is that governments don't supply the funding for mental health services, so most people go without. Pharmaceuticals from a family doctor is not the answer. I agree with your other comments.
I get you, and what i meant to say is what you are saying right now, it's men that are not coming down to seek help, but what makes a man have the ego of not seeking help? It's because of the society, the society that built generations of men who shouldn't be seen as weak, because it doesn't make him a man. A society that stereotyped men to man up when he feels sad, or depressed, a society that let men cry in shadows just to not be seen as weak, a society that forced men to neglect his feelings, better say step on them just to appear strong. You see all of this affects on his mentality, he was taught from his childhood that he should man up, never ask for help, never let his emotions out (crying).. all of this would bottles up to raise men as if they're robots. Would you expect someone with all of this to seek help?
What i meant by what I've said, is that we should have more and more campaigns to let/teach/encourage men to break these stereotypes and break those chains that has been hold around his neck all his life, to make him feel that if he tried this one time after hopelessly trying, to open up, he would be welcomed, and HEARD!
Today we are in 2020, and this kind of stereotype is still found in a lot of societies.
I agree, and wish it would happen that governments would fund therapy, but here we are..
I praise men that broke these chains, these stupid stereotypes, praise men that knew that mental health is as important as physical health.
As i said before, all of this is not an excuse for a man or any person to commit a crime or an assault and never will be, but when you want to fix a problem you look through both sides.
I also praise women that saw that her mental health is a priority.
Ok, got it. And yes, you're correct, all that does still exist to some extent. We are in a better situation (in my opinion, and some others) right now, than ever before, so at least we're going in the right direction. You are never going to hear me use a phrase like 'toxic masculinity.' I don't believe in that. And I have always been in favour of men expressing their feelings, range of emotions, etc. (Violence, and hostility are not included in that.) And I have seen plenty of polls and questions about all this here, and there is definitely considerable support for it. At the same time, there is also pushback against it. But I am not one of those. And I live in a progressive country and the majority does support it as well. I never think less of a man for showing vulnerability. Quite the opposite, in fact. I feel like it's an honour to be entrusted with such most private thoughts.
Well that something that i see a lot on the Internet but yet nothing on the ground...
Ofcourse i would never accept, or try to understand violence or hostility. What is acceptable is acceptable and what is wrong is wrong, no matter what the reason was. In the end every person is the master of his choice, and pays for the consequences.
I get you, and i know much understanding, kind, and supportive you are, i can see it through youš
On a side note I Don't believe in feminism, patriarchy, or any such systems, because people tend to take what they want from it and leave what they Don't want... same as religions (they do this, but doesn't do that and why? Because it doesn't make sense, so yeah š )
I believe in respect, equality, and kindness if it was towards my gender or other ones.
Thank you for reading my very long comments, i appreciate your time.
Hopefully one day we would look back to this question and realise how much things changed for the better.
Thank you, Mroz, I really appreciate that. I've been following you for a long time. You're a good guy, very reasonable, and wise beyond your years, maybe. Sometimes I have thought, "Is this wise for 23?" and then other times I think, "Well how hard is it to be like this? Seems 'normal' to me.' But on here, you rise above.
I was going to highlight your "On a side note..." part, but really everything you said was good, so instead I'll just say I wholeheartedly agree.
Nothing to be thankful for, its just the truth! Thank you as well āŗ
I would say wisdom is not defined or related to age, in the end, age is just a number, but wisdom is definitely related to experiences.
But, more like how you deal, welcome, work, think and act on an experience what leads to wisdom.. I don't see myself wise tho, i see myself as a person who learned from life's lessons, and used them to good purposes, to adapt, change, evolve, and also to spread awareness. If you ask why i Don't see myself as "wise" or call myself that, its because once i label myself with it, i would be feeding my ego, and ego leads to lesser knowledge.
Who questions much, shall learn much, and retain much ~ Francis Bacon
Moreover,
There is nothing outside of yourself that can ever enable you to get better, stronger, richer, quicker, or smarter. Everything is within. Everything exists. Seek nothing outside of yourself ~Miyamoto Musashi.
Tbh, I was expecting that you would highlight it or comment about it, which i would accept it, and give you my point of view about such things, and maybe you would enlighten me while spotlighting on the wrong things/views by explaining your point of view, or vice-versa, in the end we all learn from each other.
I'm used to it by now. No matter how much facial hair I have or how much weight I gain or lose, people seem to get the sense that I'm not someone to mess with. I remember one encounter with a couple while sitting at a Starbucks. They were talking without a care in the world with other people around, but as soon as I walked in the room their conversation stopped and their eyes never left me. I decided to sit outside. Once I went outside, their body language seemed to relax and they resumed talking. Once they went outside and saw me again, conversation quit again. I approached the guy to ask him why they were acting that way towards me and he said they could sense something dangerous about me. I asked them what they meant and they said the way I carry myself gives the vibe of a cop, veteran or criminal and they were unsure which one. Once I told them I'm in law enforcement, they relaxed and we even had a fun conversation briefly. In other instances, I can tell people are uncomfortable around me.
Honestly i don't even notice it. I remember having a disagreement with a newly promoted female colleague at work when i was younger. The next day i was called into the bosses office and was told that i had made her feel threatened. This was a complete surprise to me as i hadn't said anything threatening, nor would i try to. Exiting the bosses office and returning to my work station with the other workers i was kind of dazed by what had just happened. It wasn't a reprimand but the fact that i had made her feel that way that had shook me. Of course i talked about it with a few of the others i worked with. You have to understand i'm soft like cookie dough. I can get angry, but there isn't a violent bone in my body. So the thought i could even scare someone is laughable to me. But one of the guys reminded me i'm 6'5". That alone would intimidate some people. Honestly to this day i don't know whether she really was afraid of me. Or whether she made it up to get some support against me. But a lesson was learned on my part and i try to be cognizent of my presence now.
I choose A. I walk at night sometimes with my son or take my dog out on a walk. People will literally cross the road about a block ahead and pass us on the otherside of the road and then cross back to the side they were originally on after! I think it's kinda sad how people have become so disassociated with society that they would rather walk across the street just to avoid walking past someone on the sidewalk. I have a 3 year old and he's very outgoing and loves to say hello to people, shit even I like saying hello to people when I walk by them. But a lot of people will ignore my son as he is waving at them saying hello as they walk past us on the other side of the street! I still haven't thought of the right thing to say to my son when he asks how come they didn't say hello back. Like what do you say to that? They didn't hear you doesn't really work when it's pretty obvious they did. For the majority of the people, I'd say they are good people. Sure there are some individuals that are fucked in the head but those kind of people are very very rare to come across. I was almost a victim of a drive by shooting once and I have been pick pocketed before but even then I still view society the same. I just was in the wrong place at the wrong time when those things happened. Not gonna lie sometimes I will feel uncomfortable walking past someone but I will still walk past them and not avoid them. Once I pass them and nothing happened, it makes me not as nervous when it happens again. I don't really judge a book by the cover when it comes to people though. Someone can have tattoos all across their face and I won't think anything of it. I'm also a guy and not a girl too. I can see how girls can feel uncomfortable by themselves. But even then, I think if I was a girl, I wouldn't change how I am now.
I've actually never been avoided that I can remember. I think it's because I don't have an imposing build. I'm kind of tall, thin, and goofy looking so women think I'm just a freakishly large kid or something. Hell, maybe that's why I'M the one always looking out for potential threats, of which, are never women by the way.
It's smart to be cautious, I think. Better safe than to be a statistic. When a big guy comes walking my way, I'm always planning how I'll fight him off, or where I will run if need be. People who can hold their own with about anyone at anytime, need to consider their own privilege before becoming offended by someone's yielding to caution. I don't want to end up on Unsolved Mysteries, and I assume neither do a lot of women, but they also need to understand that these are just biological realities that cannot be corrected through socialization "of men". Always be cautious. Predators are always gonna prey on food.
As a black American male that is heavy-set and decently athletic looking, the idea of ābeing a threatā is a constant existence for me.
At times it can be comforting because Iām less likely to be targeted by a person up to no good.
At times it does get aggravating when going through everyday life.
I could be walking down the street during the day in a residential area, and have women literally cross the street and keep going to avoid crossing paths with me.
When it comes to meeting new people, in a group of 5 or more people there is usually one that is intimidated or uncomfortable with me based merely on my presence.
The āfear of big scary black manā is a common occurrence, and it doesnāt even have to be at night!
I'll tell you why we get as far away from your dumb ass as possible while on the street at night! Because we know if we pass and you get raped and killed 5 minutes later, we as good as fucked, front page rapist, loose your family, loose your friends, do 20 years in jail because, we got sloppy, decided not to cross the street. Nothing worse at night than us men seeing some dumb bitch walkling alone, most us think, don't even look at her, that bitch is dead, and police can ask you, did you see anyone, a girl maybe, um no officer I didn't see nothing, not a god dam thing, I was walking on the other side of the road, you know, way way the fuck over there officer... You know if you say you seen that ass, and even if you a virgin that passes out at the sight of blood, you are so going to jail and big Bob is going to fill your ass with his love sausage. Do us good men a favore, don't think it's equal rights to walk the street at night alone, you are not equal to a man or you wouldn't end up fucked and dead, also Bob wouldn't be trying to start a family with me. Stay with your friends, stay in public, stay home. definitely don't walk down a dark empty street with leg skin showing and tits out, you might as put on a neon sign saying, no one is going to miss my dump us bring your cock and an axe...🤡🔪
This makes no sense. Why would the woman want to name you as the criminal? She saw your face, you weren't wearing a ski mask because you weren't up to anything. No criminal would show their face, and then cover their face. You're illogical and paranoid. She's a "dumb bitch" because she walks alone at night? "you are not equal to a man or you wouldn't end up fucked and dead" Fuck you. It doesn't matter what she's wearing, it's not an invitation to rape or murder her. And learn to spell. It's 'lose', not 'loose.' Do you have this attitude because you were dropped on your head as a child? Whatever, you get no sympathy from us. You don't deserve anymore time or attention from any of us. You're blocked.
I live in a high crime area and I used to walk to the gym at 4am (before COVID). If you're walking at night in a high crime area there are things you have to be mindful of.
1. Walk upright and look intimidating. Don't make yourself look like an easy target. 2. Keep your hands in your pockets when around someone else. Criminals want to see where your hands are, keeping them in your pockets will make them second guess. 3. When approaching someone, pay attention to where their hands are. If they have their hands in their pockets, there's a chance that they could have a weapon. 4. When approaching someone who looks dangerous, cross the street. If that person crosses the street after you, RUN LIKE HELL.
It's not just after dark though. As a man, this simple truth explains it all:
I'm a single dad (for the sake of this argument) and have sole custody of my 9 year old daughter. How many parents on the block do you think would let their daughters come to my house for a sleepover?
ZERO. No matter how upstanding I am. I could be a local hero, but mothers and fathers alike will see me as a threat to their daughter. However, single-Suzy right next door can host slumber parties every weekend and it wouldn't even be a concern.
Single dad too , mine are teens now , so my 14 year old daughter has friends over , they like my caustic humour. I do agree , hated the hostility from judgmental mothers when they were younger , pissed me off !!
I have encountered this type of thing before where I'm walking at night and see a passerby visibly recoil away from me. Its not often but I have noticed it a few times before.
For the most part I get it because most violent crimes are in fact committed by and large by men. I get it that im a stranger and im an unknown factor.
But it only mildly saddens me because I know im not violent. Im not a racist, I know im not misogynist.
What bothers me more is that half the population walk around with a small or possibly large fear kidnapping/assault/rape/etc. Constantly in the back of their mind.
I donāt take it personal. It used to bother me when I experienced biased behavior from women but writing a paper about sexual harassment and actually hearing experiences changed my attitude. I āget itā to a degree where I understand why itās a thing.
This used to discourage me from introducing myself to new women. I didnāt want bad assumptions to be made about me. But acknowledging myself and knowing myself helps me overcome those things. I canāt help it if a woman reacts to me purely based on assumption or her personal experiences.
But I can always prove her wrong by humbly taking no for an answer and always being compassionate and respectful, even if sheās avoiding me or being defensive.
When I am walking behind a woman at night and it's dark I just call out to her "hey! I'm not a rapist I swear!" and then I run really fast at her.
lol j/k.
I don't want people to be intimidated by me. But that's just the way it is. It isn't just women, it's men too.
I was out with a female friend one day, and she whispered under her breath not meant for me to hear but I heard it. She said "wow they're so intimidated by you." Well that made me feel like shit lol.
It sucks that people would feel intimidated. It happens to me all the time, even in well lit public areas with plenty of people. It feels like everyone is scared I might get mad and murder them in broad daylight.
I can't think of a time when I was out walking empty streets at night, so I haven't encountered the situation you described. Actually, there may have been times when I walked alone at night when I was in my teens and 20s, but I had few thoughts of fear back then. I can understand people's caution, though. Men are larger than women and could be a potential threat to a woman who is alone in a deserted area. I wouldn't advise women (or anyone else) to walk alone at night or even during the day in deserted areas like parking garages, alleys or hiking trails unless they are well equipped to defend themselves if necessary. A key is to always be aware of your surroundings.
I tend to just go about my business when I'm in public I'm focused on how to get where I wanna go quickly and not wasting time. I think there has been 1 or 2 situations where I meant well and people were just like don't come near me or something but it's pretty rare.
Maybe if I was more outgoing it would bother me more. The guys that do enjoy talking to random people seem to do fine even though they're guys so I don't think it's an insurmountable obstacle.
I think this has had a very small impact on my life if any so it's not that big of a deal I'd say.
Honestly growing up the way I did I am not exactly upset with how I can make people uncomfortable. people being uncomfortable near me isn't always a sign of racism, sometimes its just anxiety caused by not knowing someone and the idea of them being dangerous. Hell when I was living in a bad area If I saw a man half my size walking down the side walk towards me I would cross the street to be safe. You can never know how dangerous a stranger is until its too late.
I just try to scurry past them as quickly as I can if behind them so that I don't drag out their nervousness if they do indeed seem uncomfortable. I have no wish to cause any Lady fear and I do understand the stress of dark nights alone as a female, I do not agree with the political notion of all men being threatsor potential threaths. But I understand simple reactions to unsettling situations. So as long as she doesn't do anything crazy unwarranted it's alright.
But generally my disposition and formal attire ought to give away that I am not a vagabond with nefarious intent.
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