Boyfriend bought his ex a necklace and i'm getting gift cards?

[Anonymous]

I'm not usually the selfish or jealous type so i'm unsure why this has been on my mind or bothering me lately. But a month or so ago was my boyfriend's birthday. he turned 25 and i'm 20. we have been together for about 8 months now. after i gave him all his gifts he made a comment that went something like "i hope you realize i'm not much of a shopper, i'll probably end up giving you cash or gift cards as gifts" and started laughing. he was serious though and i really never cared, i honestly thought it was funny. But about two days ago I found a beautiful expensive necklace in his room that was broken in a box. out of curiosity (because i'm a girl and do crazy things sometimes) i looked at his ex's facebook and it was her necklace... 4 months into them dating. I asked him about it and he did tell me that it was a necklace he gave to his ex. I know it's a selfish thing to say, but is it bad that if he gave me gift cards for Christmas i would be upset? just because after 4 months of dating he bought her a beautiful expensive necklace and we have been together 8 months and he told me he was getting me gift cards.. is it bad to be bothered by this? guys, why would he do this?

[Lizzzzz288283]

Honestly, I completely understand where you’re coming from and I would be a little upset too. I think that it’s okay to be upset about it- it’s not really rude or anything it’s more about the intention rather than the gift itself. It seems like you just want more thought put into what he gives you, rather than just a gift card. Maybe he’s just worried that your relationship will end as poorly as his last relationship so he’s trying to slow everything down with you. It’s really hard to tell. Men usually need to be straight up told things, they don’t really understand social cues from women as much as other women understand them. I would just have a straight up conversation with him about this because it’s clearly upsetting you as you’re comparing yourself to his ex.

[Lizzzzz288283]

You never know though. Maybe he’s planning on giving you a necklace or something for Christmas. I would wait until after Christmas to talk to him just in case because it could be pretty awkward if he was planning to get you something else for Christmas.

[testersite00]

you have a right to feel jealous. he gave her a thoughtful gift and he's planning on giving you gift cards! for me personally i would be a little hurt, he took time for his ex's gift and then wants to take the lazy way out on yours. maybe he wants to surprise you? telling you he's getting gift cards but then he gets you something nice. i really don't know. either way you should talk to him about it. tell him that your jealous or hurt or whatever. maybe he can make you feel better or help you not feel jealous.

[Dave31989]

his ex shouldn't be involved in his life at all

also you're too young for a boyfriend

you should be dating, playing the field. not tied down, at your age

[ShootShootBangBang]

Ditch him.