Why do I attract guys who constantly lie about everything?

[Anonymous]

Basically all of my ex crushes seem to have one thing in common and it’s lying.

So, first crush from middle school, I asked for his number and I found out it was fake when I tried calling him, and when I found his real number from somebody else (I shouldn’t of done that, ik but this was 7th grade) he blocked my number when I texted him saying who I was, he blocked me on social media.

2nd crush technically lied about things to manipulate me and keep me from being upset with him. I think he liked me a little but his actions later on didn’t add up.

3rd crush from high school I just knew he was genuine because he was smart and was easy to talk to. We were talking about prom at one point and he wanted to take me. So one day he wasn’t at school and he wanted me to get the info about prom and when I let him know about the cost and stuff, he says “I’m sorry, I can’t take you, I have a girlfriend now and asked her” I saw him at prom and I didn’t see him with her. He said she didn’t wanna go but the whole time we planned prom he had a girlfriend already and didn’t tell me til prom day got closer.

And my current crush is this guy at my job. He actually showed interest and was super helpful and caring to me, but later he’s been kinda off and I don't know how to stop liking him. He’s like my 2nd crush who lie to make me not get upset with him. He told my brother that he wanted a relationship with me, but told my cousin he just wanted someone to fuck with. And the list goes on, he even lies to his own family members

Now 2 of these guys actually seemed genuine and wanted me but I don’t get why lie to keep my feelings from getting hurt. It just doesn’t make any sense.

Men always talk about wanting an honest woman, but these 4 men are dishonest asf and don’t even care. I know it’s not all men but my experience with 4 guys who all lied to me is already too much

[Honesttguy]

Read body language books, so you can better tell what truth hides behind. I can tell you most people in world are fake.
You dont have to stop liking someone, just let it be, you dont have to act on feeling. You can like 100 men doesn't mean you have to have relatioship with them.
And learn to have standards like ok his showing signs of not being trust worthy boom, done, then and there trust is over dont talk yourself out from what you already saw his actions were. Cus then you are lying to yourself and thus attracting guys who are lying.

[NathanDavis]

Maybe you should stop crushing on people... that's what I did when I was 15.

I "don't go after" people I don't really know and I don't get "invested" on people for their looks or the first impression I have of them.

I give myself the time to actually get to know people for who they really and how they are for real, that's when I start to really feel attracted to someone, when I am more sure that they're genuine.

My first two relationships were with women who I was friends with first, and for my later in life relationships there was no friendship first, but I have a better understanding about people, I was in a better position to "judge" how genuine and truly people are or can be.

So, maybe try some of that,. try to get yourself to meet and know interesting people, rather than people that "make you crush" on them.

[Asker]

The 1st and 3rd were actually crushes, cause what else would I call them besides liking them? The 2nd and 4th guys were my friends but as I mentioned in my statement the things that I started to notice happened later on. It just sounds like I liked them too quick because I was trying to keep my summary short for each one. The 4th guy actually liked me first but I didn’t start feeling the same way until months later

[NathanDavis]

If you are under 24 of age, I would say you're still young... so maybe give it some thoughts, really think about the things that happened, how they happened, you could see this as experience, if there were patterns about some things you did, you did not do, or you missed maybe... you could learn a lot about this, and you could be able to recognize some signs in the future, with other people.

It could have been a matter of age as well, maybe you met boys and guys who were just immature, and maybe it will start to be different know, maybe you meet actual men, more mature people, it can always get better if you focus on getting better yourself. So maybe is something you missed or didn't see right away... or maybe they were all asshats. But it doesn't have to keep happening, try not to make it into something substantiallly negative.

[BarryLiverstone]

Because they don’t love themselves. So they will make promises but until they are confident those words can’t be trusted.