Why is he now telling me about his girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

My coworker and I have become extremely close in the last 5 months. We talk constantly and it’s moved to talking outside of work. Conversation has been so deep and personal that I really believed we were at the beginning of a relationship. During an all day texting session recently- he acknowledged he has a girlfriend. I was devastated and forced to play it off because it’s not like he’d ever made some official attempt to “romance” me - it’s was just obvious we had a deep, close connection.
I have to believe he’s had feelings for me and this is partly why he kept this secret.
Can some guy explain to me why he would do this?

[Ammi_goldie806]

Girl is so obvious that the red flags are screaming for you to get out of this this is a very toxic situation for anybody to be in. One of the best signs that you have missed because you liked him so much was because he's cute I guess but one of the best signs that you miss was he has not told you or her that you and him been talking for 5 months, 5 months!!! Like if he and you get together he's going to do the same exact thing he did to you with the other girl he's showing his true colors he likes you and you like him obviously you need get out of this toxic situation stop talking to him cuz he has a girlfriend now that you know you need to get out of there. You don't want to be known as a homewrecker and he's already known as a cheater cuz he is talking to you in a way that don't sound professional. And y'all work together so it's going to be awkward for him and you to be talking like y'all are dating. And he's being very unprofessional about this there's nothing in that conversation I bet in the last 5 months was about work like at all so you need to tell him you don't want to talk to him anymore only if it's about work. And he stops talking to you all together then he was not worth it anyways and if he starts to harass you didn't tell your boss and handle it from there cuz this type of behavior from a guy is unacceptable behavior especially if he has a girlfriend and he wants to keep it a secret, he wants to keep it a secret meaning he does not want his girlfriend to know meaning that she can get her heart broken and she sees you texting him. You do not want to get into an altercation with his girlfriend you don't know what she can do you don't know what she's capable of so the best thing for you to do is get yourself out of the situation as soon as possible and stop talking to him.

[Anonymous]

In all this time he was talking to you did it involve flirting - be it mild or excessive? Did he compliment you. How was his body language? Did he invite you out on personal dates alone with him? Did he call you at off timings (I. e middle of the night) to speak about off topic matters? Was there any reason you should believe he was interested in you? Was there any reason you should believe he was leading you on? If so he is in the wrong and you should call him out on this.


If the conversations were merely friendly and never flirtatious in nature and the meet ups outside of work were nothing more than you’d expect from a friend then you have no choice but to play it off. It is an odd situation however I must say. I don’t think he was completely oblivious either or he wouldn’t just now mention his girlfriend after DEEP personal conversations about life with you.

[spartan55]

His threshold for drawing the "I'm taken" boundary was just different than yours.

[KrakenAttackin]

Maybe he realizes that dating a woman from work is an idiotic thing to do.