I had a mild chest pain yesterday and so my boyfriend took me to the doctors The doctor said I might have a blood clot so she told me to go the hospital to get a blood test only to check.
We went to the hospital And this young male nurse came out to call me - and my boyfriend came inside the room with me
This male nurse was asking questions like "tell me where the chest pain is" And so I told him its near my breast area And the male nurse proceeded to examine me by touching my chest area and around my boob area
And my boyfriend got abit annoyed and asked him "Can u get a female nurse please? I don't feel comfortable you touching my girlfriend" So he got a female nurse But the female nurse was just standing there and the male nurse started to examine me again
And so my boyfriend got angry and said "Why are you touching her and not this female nurse? I told you I don't feel comfortable about you touching my girlfriend. I don't like this. Lets go babe, get up and we're leaving now"
Was my boyfriend overreacting or was he in the right?
Yeah your boyfriend was right in doing that
It's understandable what your boyfriend did but abit overreacted
No your boyfriend was wrong for doing that
Select gender and age to cast your vote:
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+1 y
You guys calling him insecure and a controlling dick... that's pathetic. He ended up taking me to the hospital again the next to get my results and see if I have a blood clot or not. He still stayed with me for an hour to get my results. That means he cares. He just didn't like ANY man touching me. And I understand. I wouldn't like a female doctor touching him either.
My boyfriend got angry that a male nurse touched me?
Definitely overreacting but also correct. The female nurse was available to do the exam, but communication could have been more clear all around.
Here in VA they ask you if you're okay with them touching you before they do the exam or if you'd rather have someone else in the room/not in the room; if you'd rather a male/female do this.
That's common practice here. I've not had nurses/doctors touch me without request of consent. Now they usually phrase things in a way that isn't as much a question as much as providing you opportunity to state when you're not comfortable.
But that moment is always there. I wouldn't be so comfortable with a guy, young or not, touching my girl either even if it is his job. Nothing wrong with not being comfortable with that.
Although it is understandable that one does not like the opposite gender touching intimate parts of their significant other, in this situation your health examination performed by a person who's within his field of expertese is more important than getting protective. This protectiveness should be preserved for the streets, not by medical staff who are trying to diagnose a problem could be life threatening. It is enough for your boyfriend to be there and support you. It's not like the nurse was trying to overstep his boundaries within the presence of your boyfriend. So in this case, he did overreact. While in another scenario, let's say you're getting dancing lessons and your teacher started to grope you, this reaction of his would be much more justified.
I chose C, but I should add a caveat to it. He was perfectly within his rights to express to that guy that he didn't want him touching you, despite how petty and controlling it is (and it is).
But what he WASN'T within his rights to do was demand that you leave in the middle of a potentially life-saving triage.
That said, the male nurse probably shouldn't be in there touching you given that a doctor is the one that will diagnose you. Unless the nurse was a Nurse Practitioner, he probably wasn't supposed to be palpating your chest because it's highly, highly unlikely that he would know what in the hell he was looking for.
That's really the doctor's job.
But also, the male nurse should not have started touching you again -- unless he was a Practitioner, but then he should have told you that and told him that.
It is YOUR choice whether you are uncomfortable with the nurse, not your boyfriend. Your boyfriend is not your power of attorney (unless he is) and he has no right to make medical decisions for you.
You should have protested the male nurse touching you again, also, because it was obvious your boyfriend didn't like it, so I certainly wouldn't have let the guy touch me again. Not saying it's your fault, but it's just one added issue with what happened.
The man was probably professionally trained and the woman wasn’t And the woman could’ve been asked to watch just in case the man started doing other stuff
This is a tough subject it truly is I believe your boyfriend means well I truly do!
I can relate a little more than you realize.. I have an irregular heartbeat.. so I use to suggest for females when I got males cause I felt subconscious about them looking at me or even talking to them.. as I got older I realize its just a job for them.. they aren't going home and masterbating to the fact they touched my breasts looking for a lump.. I am honestly one person out of hundreds that he touched..
He was probably properly trained how to touch and feel for lumps she probably wasn't.
So at the end of the day its a man doing his job and your boyfriend is insecure a blood clot could kill you but he won't let you get the help you need.. yes your boyfriend touches them and masturbates to them he's your boyfriend.. if it made him uncomfortable you could have assured him its for your wellbeing abd if he doesn't like it he could leave the room... if accuses of you doing anything with the nurse like cheating on him then leave.. cause he is controlling.. there's a fine line to a man doing it to be sweet voicing your fears like why is it a male nurse.. end of the day nurses are trained in different areas and maybe his mom or sister died of breast cancer is why he persued that area.. its wrong to think he's preverted he's doing his job
Omg. Your boyfriend is a simple minded, possessive, pathetic individual. This behaviour is not ‘caring’. He’s already got you thinking in an abnormal way, which is common in these types of relationships.
The man was a nurse! His job is to check people over, not feel them up!
The female nurse came in to chaperone! Did she say ‘stop massaging that women’s breasts in a sexual manner!’ Of course she effin didn’t, because he was performing his job!
How do you expect your heart and chest to be examined if it’s under breasts?
Your boyfriend was over reacting. The male nurse was examining her because he was the most qualified available. He might have been a nurse practitioner while the female nurse might have just been an LPN and there is a huge difference between the two. I had to have surgery on my kidney a few weeks ago and the doctor at one point had to hold my genitals and examine them. Sometimes it is necessary to touch a patient. Your boyfriend owes you and that nurse an apology for his outrageously bad behavior. Next time call an ambulance and leave the boyfriend home.
Nah, i wouldn't like some stranger groping my girlfriend either. I get that it's their job but i would feel 100x more comfortable with a woman touching my girlfriend all over than some other guy. Nurses are still human, so if some male nurse is extra handsy because he's enjoying touching some cleavage i would never know. Also, that male nurse knew exactly what he was doing was making a paying client uncomfortable and continued doing it even though he didn't have to. He continued doing it either because he was enjoying himself to much or just to be spiteful towards your boyfriend. The fact that tge male nurse did that is the most fucked up part of the syory to me
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
In emergency medicine, you get treated by the most qualified human, male or female. You could die If you delay treatment by requesting someone of a different gender treat you, as that wastes time and may leave you with someone less qualified. It’s different when you have time and are scheduling an appointment, then it makes sense to be choosy but not when you go in with chest pains. I understand that it’s uncomfortable for some people and made your boyfriend uncomfortable but in that situation he has to get over it and let you get treated right away.
I take it you go to a female gynecologist, because if he is bothered by a guy examining you near your breasts... you butt naked with your legs spread wide open and your butt, vulva, vaginal lips totally naked and exposed with a guy parked there in a chair with a bright spot light shining right into the most intimate spot of your body just sitting there visually seeing and examining all of you and then inserting his fingers inside of you and inserting instruments up inside of you and also asking you to remove your top so he can do a full on breast exam, I'd have to imagine he'd not be comfortable with that.
Just because people over sexual use nurses, does not mean we do the same to patients. It’s actually the exact opposite. He was checking you for chest pain, I guarantee he wasn’t trying to check out your boobs. The reason the female nurse was brought in was to be a witness. It’s important that you feel comfortable with your examination, so if you ever don’t then you should say something. But your boyfriend not wanting him to literally do his job just because he’s a man and from the sound of it being rude too, is just ignorant. I guarantee it wasn’t the first time it happened to that nurse and sadly probably won’t be the last.
you need to stop. and you need to really think here (yes i read your update and that's what I'm addressing. are you familiar with the term narcissist?) someone can be controlling and still exhibit the caring behaviour you describe. it is absolutely not healthy for him to act the way he did and it is absolutely not heathy for you to behave like he did either. it is for you to speak up if you did not feel comfortable then you needed to say something your the patient. we're talking about a medical procedure here not some dude in a night club. what your boyfriend should have done was ask you are you comfortable with a male dr given the circumstances you could then say yes or no. then the nurse hears this boom sorted with a lot less aggression then you describe
Kinda sounds like my uncle! VERY possessive!! My aunt couldn't even take a piss in my house without him waiting outside for her like she was gonna run away once she came out!! What the fuck? Why don't you just go in and hold her hand? Another time, they were at a dance and a relative of hers (a cousin, I think) came up and asked her to dance. She did but, his style was to hold the woman very close to himself. My uncle took offense to this (possibly because my aunt had huge tits) and wouldn't let the guy dance with her anymore! Everyone got pissed at my uncle and told him, that's just his style!! He dances like that with EVERYONE!!
Your boyfriend was being a dick. First of all, how does he know the woman who came in the room was an actual nurse? Maybe she wasn't qualified to do the exam and was just present as a witness? What if it had been a male DOCTOR and he brought a female nurse into the room as a witness? No doctor is going to give way to your boyfriend's insecurity - he's a doctor.
Now if YOU had requested a female examiner, that would be a different story. But as you described it, your boyfriend is off base on this one. You should learn something from the experience too, about him. This is red flag for you to watch, and a possible "tip of the iceberg" situation.
What if the situation was reversed and he was being examined by a hot looking female nurse, or any nurse for that matter? Would you have objected?
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
If you have a male nurse, they will do the same things that a female nurse does. You said he touched you, but you didn't say in what manner or with what purpose, with bare hands or gloved hands, bare chested, or over your clothing. Was he putting leads on for an EKG? Did you have the sense that he was touching your improperly? If so, how? Having had countless numbers of female patients, I can tell you, that any male who is a professional, is focusing on what medical issue you are having. I have touched and seen many women who were nude or largely unclothed, doing procedures, etc. When working with a patient, you don't look at a woman the same way that you do in your personal life. If you did, you would not be able to do your job properly, and not care for your patient properly.
His ego should not take priority over your potential health threat. I've had to give lots of ECG's to women. Bare boobs. You just maintain your professionalism and move forward.
His reaction is one reason that some facilities won't let family come back if it's not a little kid. If a kid's involved someone always should be with them.
He was wrong. Especially doctors and nurses are having a hard time right now, we should rather support them. I think he probably shouldn't have come with you. Anyway I'm surprised they let him stay with you, maybe it's different in the US. And I can't imagine what he would think if he could see what happens with your gynecologist
I think your boyfriend was right. In fact he didn't go far enough. There's no reason for a nurse to be doing a chest exam. If this was a doctor it's understandable. Strange that you trust a random male in a nurse uniform more than your own boyfriend but that's the modern world for you. In a traditional relationship -- if you were a traditional woman -- you would trust your man to be your protector. Maybe your boyfriend made a mistake in thinking that you want his protection.
You are just a IDIOT, do you know what a triage nurse is? She was complaining of chest pains so they are going to examine the chest. Now if he put her on a exam table and put her feet in stirrups and started to inspect her vagina there would be a problem but him doing a triage of the area she was complaining about is normal. Please wear your stupid sign in public so everyone knows how stupid you really are.
@johnsmithjs Where I live, only doctors do exams in a hospital or urgent care place. Period. Nurses ask questions and write notes. Sometimes they give advice... based on their uncertified opinions.
For OP: Better safe than sorry. "Fort Collins police have arrested a male nurse accused of sexually touching women in hospital emergency rooms " -- Denver 2016. Of course, if you feel your boyfriend is too aggressive then talk to him about it.
The fact that he seemed more concerned that a male nurse was "examining you" which is standard procedure over if you had a blood clot I think makes him not only very insecure but also very selfish... That's unhealthy jealousy... Red flag there..
Yes, he was overreacting, the nurse was just doing their job. I completely understand that some people only feel comfortable with a certain gender but it only matters if the patient feels uncomfortable which I am assuming you didn't care about it much. It's like if your boyfriend went to the hospital and you got mad that a female nurse was touching him.
Asking for a female nurse is fine. Most doctors/nuses understand some people are uncomfortable about stuff like that. And it's understandable he'd get kinda pissed if they got a female nurse just for the Dr to keep doing it anyways.
But causing a scene and storming out is always childish. And you shouldn't risk someone else's health for stuff like that. I think he took it too far by telling you to leave with him.
Yes, he cares about you, but that's not enough. Of course he cares about you, but that's not the point. His perspective is totally out of line, and his reaction to a trained medical professional is unreasonable and not even normal. Sorry... that guy has a problem and you're crazy for sticking by him. Lots of women who end up in the women's shelter say the exact same thing. "but he loves me" I'm sure he does, but... girls who stick by those types of guys, all suffer the same fate. You'll see.
That's cos he's a bit "jealous" when he sees other guys touch u and not him. It's a normal thing 4 guys to do so cos he's having a crush on u and wants to be so like protective of u. But he overreacted a bit in a bid to prove that. Just try and understand him and u will enjoy the gud side of him
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