My boyfriend wants to be celibate all of a sudden?

[Anonymous]

He told me yesterday and really didn’t give a valid reason besides he’s growing up and doesn’t want to have sex. Then this morning he wants to tell me it is a sin to lay on the bed. I believe he’s seeing someone, is gay or is stressed. I don't know what the reason is but he swears he’s not seeing anyone and isn’t gay. I’m concerned. What sparked this up? And you don’t have to stop having sex to be mature. He is confused because I’m angry, frustrated and upset he has made this decision. It affects me, and he’s pretty much holding me back for life all because he wants to give up sex. Sex you isn’t a dealbreaker for me but if we aren’t doing it at all in a relationship I can’t do it. He told me in the beginning of our relationship that he couldn’t be with a girl that didn’t like to have sexual so how is it fair for him to out of the blue tell me he’s celibate and I’m supposed to deal with it? No. And when I argue with him about it he says I don’t truly love him. It’s not even that. It really is your setting me back and also didn’t want to kiss me yesterday so it made it worse. Thoughts?

Updates

+1 y

Let’s not forget he wouldn’t let me kiss him yesterday

[NamerOfStars]

So what DOES he say is the reason? Is it a religious thing? Did he fall in with the NoFap crowd? I mean, I suppose I could understand feeling that your sexual life is out of your control, and wanting to rein it in to feel less at a loss, but that's the kind of thing you TALK to your partner about- it really is unfair of him to just unilaterally drop this on you. A person shouldn't feel obligated to "anything, any time" in terms of sex, but that doesn't mean there's NO obligation, if that's the form the relationship's taken. This is clearly more than just a "not tonight" thing, right? If his personality is the type that has trouble processing things or breaking tough news, you might want to give him a few more days before you do anything major.

Hmm... Come to think of it, could it be he's injured or ill or otherwise might not physically be up for it, and doesn't want to disappoint you? And is just handling it in a really stupid way? Probably not, if he's unwilling to even kiss you. Has he pushed for doing other stuff together INSTEAD of sex? It's usually women who get worried when they feel their partner's only with them for sex, or that it's all their relationship is about, but it's not unheard of for guys to do the same thing. Might that be a factor?

I think this calls for a pretty serious talk. Making that kind of sweeping declaration without even TALKING to you about it strikes me as very disrespectful. Talk to him- but think about what you want out of the relationship and what you're willing to give up for it. You may be able to find a way to make things work (especially if this is just an "I'm worried we're getting to sexual and want to back off that for a while"- in that case, you at least know it's temporary, and have a basis to start from), but you should be prepared in case it's time to move on to just being friends.

[wagsingle]

No sex and no kissing? That's not love in a romantic sense. It's a friendship. If he persists, tell him you can still be friends and move on. Sounds like he caught religion. Seen any guys on bicycles hanging around the neighborhood?

[Asker]

Haven’t seen any signs of him doing wrongdoing but I’m bout to say let’s just be friends at this point

[wagsingle]

Have you tried seduction?

[Asker]

He doesn’t want me to touch him

[Asker]

Sexually

[wagsingle]

Try cooking, doing housework nude.

[spartan55]

@wagsingle
I think the bicycle joke flew right over her head, but man, that was a good one...😂😂👍

[Lynx122]

He's weird. Maybe someone got in his head with some ideology. I don't think he's seing anyone or is gay I think it's more likely that he got pulled into something and is changing everything about his life.

[Asker]

Maybe? Sounds like that could be it

[Anonymous]

Maybe he is having a spiritual moment and looking deeper into his soul, something changed somewhere, it doesn’t just happen for no reason out of the blue, maybe reevaluating his life style but if I were you I would just say that isn’t what you signed up for and what other things are going to change? Maybe it’s best you just become friends since no sex is just friends anyway and then find someone else who wants more than friendship

[Asker]

Thanks. I feel being friends is best he’s talking about being celibate for life and says he’s grown up and changed. Maybe this is a reason for him to slowly shoo me away from him so he can get with another girl

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe but if it’s true then you need to find someone else since he won’t be having kids with anyone if that’s true

[Anonymous]

well probably he realised that having orgasms is bad for you as a man, or for me personally it is. But that is not a reason to not have sex, on contrary you can have plenty of sex without orgasm at least on the male side and that brings a woman in heaven too, so actually win win.

[Asker]

How does this relate to what I said besides the first sentence haha

[Opinion Owner]

You aren't very bright right?

[Opinion Owner]

All in all I have told you an opinion and a possibility, probably your boyfriend is just a big close minded idiot who gives himself more importance then he has and that costs you a big part of your happiness. So yeah not sure what else there is to say here.. good luck.

[wagsingle]

That's crazy. Are you in some sort of cult?

[Asker]

I’m upset about his decision especially after not discussing it with me first it’s disrespectful

[Opinion Owner]

@wagsingle no, no cult it is how it makes you feel it is that simple.

[Opinion Owner]

@asker yes it is and not kissing you is just too much, sharing love is maybe the only great thing in a relationship, being cold and distant is never good.

[nachosaresexy]

Maybe he's conflicted due to religious beliefs? Is that a new thing for him?

[Asker]

I don't know if he’s fully religious it just seems odd he wants to be celibate now

[nachosaresexy]

Yeah definitely off. Usually sex drive should remain consistent or even increase. Maybe you could try initiating in new/exciting ways?

[nachosaresexy]

odd*

[Asker]

I initiate also he’s just being an asshole

[Asker]

Making me sexually miserable

[wagsingle]

Have you seen any guys on bicycles hanging around the neighbourhood? Looks like someone's got him pretty F*** up in the head.

[nachosaresexy]

I have a question on little bit different topic. If you don't mind can I message you to try to explain?

[JamesRandiDebates]

You have clearly turned him gay.

[Asker]

Lol I haven’t

[JamesRandiDebates]

If he is no longer interested in pussy, he is gay.