There was this guy. We went on one date. We never spoke again. The first date was just fine. The guy told me he felt chemistry with me the time he came back. He drunk added me back on a form of social media. We thought about re-doing our first date. That has never happened. Instead, we just talked about it. I ended up being very confused with this guy. He randomly brought up a threesome he had going on. I thought “Huh? Yet this guy was talking about redoing a date with me.” For a while, it was like that. Instead, we started hooking up. It just got weird. I eventually stopped things because we weren’t going anywhere. Along with him moving because he lost his job. I basically told him how I’m confused. He came at me so strong. Told me he was TALKING to other people, yet after his threesome he had. WE WERE STILL TALKING ABOUT OUR DATE. You’re probably asking me “Why did you hookup? Why didn’t you leave?” Lowkey stupidity and I was so confused…
Are men really this way? 😵💫 Why TRY and take somebody on a date if he’s screwing with other girls? I called him out, saying that’s it’s a red flag. No girl that is a bit interested would want to hear that. They’d consider that a red flag, am I wrong?
The threesome happened in June, yet beginning of July. He was talking a re-do, and he acts like I don’t know what I’m talking about.
Are men really this way? He tried to make me sound stupid when I have proof of things?
"Men" aren't like this. Boys in grown-ass bodies are. He's an immature jerk who thinks he's God's greatest gift.
Give yourself a gift and block his pathetic ass and find a Real Man who treats you like a queen. There's nothing wrong with a guy treating a lady like she's of infinite value, holding doors for you, paying for the date. If you demand your value the deadwood losers who can't appreciate your worth will drift away. It's like refining gold. The dross needs to slough off to get the real value
He just wanted sex, and pretended to want a relationship. Don't believe for a second that he "just randomly asked you to hang out" he knew what he was doing and his end game the entire time was sex. Guys will pretend to be into you if they want sex. They are just into wanting sex from you. No alcohol, and pretty much you have to find a guy that is abstinate and wants a relationship and not sex if you want to make sure he actually likes you and isn't just trying to get some and hook up.
He's hooking up with people, he was never interested in a relationship.
Dating multiple people at the same time isn't a red flag though. It's actually fairly normal for guys because to them they need to try to talk to as many girls as possible to increase the chances of one responding positively.
People don't just suddenly lose their jobs then decide to leave the state. That's the red flag here.
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2 Reply
Asker
+1 y
Yet he acted so interested in me, wanting to take me on a date. Though he was hooking up with other people? As if I deserved that… You know? I didn’t know. I thought it was a red flag he told me about his threesome, yet he went on talking about our future date!
It doesn't sound like he is asking for a redo. It sounds like he is saying the first date didn't go well, he isn't interested in dating you, and he is moving away.
I'm not saying he is a good guy or a bad guy. I'm just saying I think you misunderstood his message.
Maybe there is more to the conversation but from what I see he is Definitely not asking you for a second date.
Sounds like you two don't get along, and he is moving away so... Problem solved.
Sadly yes, many guys are that stupid. And they wonder why they are single, and live in their mom's basement aka command post. Find one that has a brain and knows how to use it. I have been on dates with a few "airheads" and knew that it would not be a lifetime relationship.
Nope men aren't like this, you dated someone that was just a passenger so he wouldn't mind to be with you or to even stay in a relationship, he wants to live in a random way so that he won't assume any responsibility. I don't know why you were involved with such a male like him?
He's just being on the level with you. He's telling you that he had fun and he likes you, and enjoys spending time with you, but he's also telling you that he's not in the right place to give you a commitment.
You aren't in a relationship with him. He's just being real with you about what kind of person you are talking to.
Men like to have freedom and sex. You were providing that, but it seems like it isn't satisfying for you. You want an exclusive monogamous relationship. Try to make that happen with him if you want, and if you fail try someone else. Or just stop trying to make anything go anywhere and enjoy your experiences with him. Take it one week at a time.
Most men are not like this, HE is like that. I'm still confused how he would tell you all this and you even tell him it's a red flag, yet still allow him a pass? You are getting played by him, he is using you, and it is evident from the beginning of this post. Personally I would say just leave him alone and go your separate ways don't give this attention. and don't blame all men, blame him.
Listen first you need to take care of you. Second there was never a 3some. He made up that nonsense thinking somehow you would be impressed. I don't understand why though. And 3 ask yourself would you really want to bring his ass over to mom's house? If not kick his lying ass to the curb.
'Guys' are not like that Crooked guys and girls are He lost his job because he is a lying prick. Also the reason he is moving. Mentioning a threesome is to feel you out for how far you would go to give him something 'fun' Maybe it's a good idea, maybe not - don't know you so can't tell.
He's playing you! It should be obvious girl! Not all men are like this though. If he was truly interested in you he wouldn't be hooking up with other people and having threesomes.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
And a question is?
He just wanted to F you and he got it... You met a player, not all men like him...
All his moves even feel scripted like in one of those stupid pick up sites, just with wrong timing and/or order, this is why it looked so confusing to you...
You spent enough time walking around this cul-de-sac. He's moving away, you should move on too. Get a glass of wine and enjoy your solitude. Focus on where you missed the signs of him being a POS
definitely sounds like he is trying to move on from you, not "redo" but thats all I can see from the message, and I don't think what you are saying is a red flag, just rude, he probably wants you to feel like shit or something.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
Sorry to hear that, a lot of women go through the same thing and I understand it's shitty, but please stop this "Are all men this way?" mentality 😑. Sometimes it gets tiring hearing that shit over and over.
I'm also starting to wonder if all women go through a "all men are shit" phase. Oops :P
No your not wrong it is a red flag! Not every man is like that but unfortunately there are some that give the decent ones a bad name. From our side I feel ashamed when I hear behaviour like this.
He is clearly a Chad so of course you will sleep with him again and never give the nice guy a chance. You are obsessed with him so clearly you crave his alpha seed.
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