When I really like a guy, I get hypersensitive when he teases me. I get insecure and like I can’t handle what feels like “bullying” to me. Why?

[Anonymous]

When I really like a guy, and he calls me “dumb” or “naive” or “childish” or makes fun of my “virgin ass”, I feel very insecure and then angry and I lash out at him.
I feel bad that I have such thin skin and he gets to me so easily. He says it’s just some fun/joking around and I’m too serious.

I now feel insecure being insecure. Is this normal?

[AmandaYVR]

Those words you used in your example are not nice words. I wouldn't call those teasing. I'd call them insults. I wouldn't like that person, if it were me. He's disrespecting you.

As far as being on the receiving end of those, you can either try and take them constructively (even if they were not intended that way), and learn and grow from them (ex: stop acting childish and lean towards the young adult you supposedly are); or you can not lash out, but "tease him" back in a similar way.

If he's calling you those things, AND he likes you, he, himself, may be childish and dumb, and instead of treating you well, he's being stupid and ragging on you, as if you were a male friend (they tend to cut each other down, as a way of toughening them up.) Maybe he needs to grow up too/instead.

[curiousboy6969]

Another woke feminist 🥴

[AmandaYVR]

@curiousboy6969 Another asshole misogynist.

[Asker]

When I told him it feels like he’s humiliating me, he says “it’s just some push-pull. I like playing rough”.

“You couldn’t even handling me “bullying you” and all I was doing was following your logic when you said X or Y”.

[AmandaYVR]

How old is he?
Where do you know him from/what context?

[Asker]

He's 6 years older than I am. We have acquaintances in common and are talking to each other online.

[AmandaYVR]

He's immature. Don't let him convince you that the problem is simply you are too sensitive. He's being a dick or a child. I don't know which, given the limited information.
You can either snap back, move on, or act the better person and teach him what is not acceptable. If it was me, I'd move on, but it's your choice.
Just remember, you don't have to put up with it, and this is not kindness or healthy flirting. There are better guys out there.

[Asker]

I’ve decided to take your advice. You’re right, there are indeed better. Thanks for the much needed perspective!

[AmandaYVR]

Glad to hear it. And you're very welcome. 💐

[curiousboy6969]

No. Dont mind it! Boys do it intentionally to tease their girl. I think almost every men do it and it's cute. It is just for fun.

[Asker]

We aren’t officially together yet. I feel like him being disrespectful that way means he doesn’t really like me.

[Iron_Man]

Don’t overthink things

[Asker]

I can’t shake off the feeling he doesn’t really like me

[Iron_Man]

Then take a break or MoveOn