Guys, would you date a girl you're not attracted to just because you're lonely?

Question

This guy and I don't have much chemistry although we have some things in common. He never shows that he actually likes me or compliments me, and we slept together. Is he dating me just because i'm a girl and he's lonely? I didn't feel like he's into cuddling and he never touched me outside of the sex.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I did this once and it was giant mistake. Sex felt like a chore and tried to force myself to look deeper (she had a good heart) but it got tougher and tougher. I ended up breaking up with her and despite trying my best to lay her down with gentle hands she was devastated. I felt like complete shot after that.

I know women have done this same bullshit to me (for attention and validation). While i was smart enough not to get friendzoned they did the bare minimum for their own ends. The red flag is if they are consistently reluctant to have sex and/or don’t show much pleasure in the event. They are also less respectful and often flaky. Fuck people who do that (more than once) to other people.

Anyway if a guy is doing this to you do NOT fall for it. It will rip your heart out trust me. Men do NOT usually become more physically attracted to a woman as the relationship goes on. Sometimes women do become more attracted to a man she thought was initially average. But not vice versa.

It might be possible he’s trying to “look deeper” with you. He liked your personality and loves you as a person. He might be chastising himself for being shallow. But the ugly truth is attraction isn’t a choice. He can’t control not feeling attracted to you and that’s no ones fault.

Novacane · Accepted Answer

I'll answer the main question first and then what you've provided

Yes, there are a lot of men out there that only date because they are lonely and that has to do with because men do really get options the way women do, so they feel that if they get an opportunity they might not get another one anytime soon. So they settle with that they can

With all that being said try not to compare your relationship with everything I said, people are different people express differently so it could also be that he's new to all this and doesn't really know how to act, my best bet would be to talk to him that's the best solution and see where he stands to see what's going on, that way you know now rather than getting all invested just to end up disappointed in the end.

I-C3_ME · Answer

Depends on the person tbh. I'm really strict about who i actually have sex with and who I'm not having it with. However i would take almost any girl out if i suspect she's cool and there is at least a base attraction. She doesn't have to the best looking girl in the world. The sense that i go by is, i don't want to be lying. As in if i tell her she's beautiful i want to actually mean if or if she's sweet or something.

So going on a date is me testing out if i like this girl's personality but there is a large pool of girls i would gladly take out... if there'll be a second date, that's a different story.

Mofunfour20 · Answer

Then why sleep with him if his interest is low? The trials and tribulations of a sexually irresponsible person. He wants sex however he can get it, you want attention however you can get it. If you were my sister id be a bit upset you gave up the 🐱 so easily without any attraction, or high interest from him. Id ask her "what is your worth to men, what do they want from you to commit?" if she can't answer that Id have to give her the hard truth

ilovesunnydays · Answer

Honestly this does not sound good. But takung this with a grain of salt, have you told him, you want to be hugged and cuddled. As much ridiculous as it sounds, please do it. I've come to realize that what might be obvious to most people, might not be to some. It is also possible he is not looking for a relationship. Either case, never lose heart, know that there are plenty of fishes in the sea!

Pj1981 · Answer

I don't know if I would but it might be possible. I will say I dated someone thinking I was ready after a bad breakup and it was sometimes an issue when I realized I wasn't over it. I would touch less, talk less, rarely cuddled, and was not really into sex with my date. I only mention it because you shouldn't assume he isn't attracted to you it could just be something he is dealing with mentally.

Anonymous · Answer

I find it interesting based on all this that you've slept together! Both just lonely? To answer, well I might give someone that I normally wouldn't "choose" a shot, but ultimately it's not going to go on for long if I'm not attracted to her. And sleeping together probably would never happen. I have to have some attraction to her to sleep with her.

FutterwackenMcSappin · Answer

To answer the question: No. I don't need to be lonely <i>and<\i> miserable too.
Fooking someone you're not attracted to is a dick-move. Only a creep stoops that low. He can't get what he wants, so he uses the next chick. Weak.
As for you are going through, I can't say. There isn't enough information.

JustinTimberlegs · Answer

I might still give someone a chance even if I'm not super attracted initially, but I wouldn't sleep with them unless there was attraction, and would definitely end it if I don't see a future together.

Maybe a week to a month max of dating to see if there's anything there

yofuknutz · Answer

I tried that with Geneva she was a couple blocks up from me I'll be lucky if I see her every couple of months really an asshole she is and then her mother moved in into town that was the end of our sex life like the picture said I had to turn away from that lifestyle

TheAfrikan · Answer

If am to do thay I wouod then be in need of nothing but sex. A guy is always attracted to a girl because she has something different and it draws attention to him. It can be her ways her the way she speaks or thinks or maybe her beauty. So there is no guy who can date a girl he is not attracted to. Though attractiveness is not based on beauty of the face.

raton21 · Answer

Seems like he isn't lonely, but horny (that no cuddle, just sex part

Koreandude7 · Answer

No, I wouldn't. I think it's terrible that you would date a girl you don't like as self comfort. Don't break a girls heart by going with her if you're not planning to stay. I would instead befriend her. If she's always there for me when I'm lonely and I end up liking her because of our connection, then I would date her.

Adam1978 · Answer

No because I am not the lonely type. I could go on a first date even if I have my doubts. But it wouldn't last long enough to be called a relationship.

Jlegacy · Answer

Love has frictions when both parties are not attracted to each other. Why should you give thanks to God for someone is far from what you desire? God always gives the best, anything less is less.

Slartybartfast · Answer

I don't think I've ever dated someone to was really attracted to. I had to learn to look for things I found attractive in them.

FinalFantasyBro · Answer

I honestly wouldn't because there nothing there between us, it would be miserable for both me and her, so no I definitely won't date a girl if I zero attraction to her.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

I think your suspicions are correct. I do not believe that boy loves you.

MannMitAntworten · Answer

I know of some men who do this. However, I cannot say this is universal for men or even women for that matter if, “lonely”. Speaking for myself, I could not imagine doing this.

Waldoe · Answer

He might be too shy to make the 1st move, talk to him, explain that you don't feel like he really likes you and why you feel that way... he might just be showing you "Respect" by not seducing you... you'll never know if you don't ask

Vikkrram · Answer

For me it is bit hard coz if I don't feel for someone then i can't be... with them...

MCheetah · Answer

No. That hurts me just as much as it hurts her. It's not right to do.

The-Wise-Phoenix · Answer

No.  Better to be alone that to be with someone you don't really like. And it's better for the other person too.

slatyb · Answer

Sounds unfulfilling. Why are you still seeing him. Dump him and find someone who cares.

madr4567 · Answer

Sounds like he is just using you for sex. When I really like a woman, I make it clear to her when the time fits.

he-takes-a-part · Answer

Haha thats again dating loneliness coz what you just called with the girl is “manifestations of your lingering loneliness”. can't think of such a step by a solved guy.

anylolone · Answer

Nope. But what I find attractive is very lenient. I have dated women I felt morally subpar because I was lonely, women I barely knew as well. The first one is OK, the last one not so much.

ToastyOats · Answer

We need more pictures of these people! Could you post a pic of this guy. For research purposes please.

Twalli · Answer

I don't think he considered you two dating. He probably just considers you a fuck buddy.

Yaharro · Answer

I been lonely for 5years still and when you spend so much time on yourself it becomes less important to you for choosing perfect ones

AdithyaR · Answer

Absolutely not, I'd rather be alone than just lead on someone.

fr44c3iqqs · Answer

Nope. And even though I am single, I am don’t feel lonely.

Guys, would you date a girl you're not attracted to just because you're lonely?

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Guys, would you date a girl you're not attracted to just because you're lonely?

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