If men are visual creatures, why don't they put more effort into their own appearances?

[Flower7]

It seems like men dress a lot more plainly and seem to not care much about what they wear. In general, they seem to not care as much about their looks as women do.

They also don't decorate their surroundings as much as women.

To me, it seems like women are more visual. What do you think?

[aWes0MeNeSs]

This is actually a good question. I was actually thinking the same lately, when I noticed a very out of shape guy making fun of overweight and out of shape women and stating he only dates hot, fit women. Yet, he put zero effort into his own appearance.

I really think that people are a mixed bag when it comes to their preferences for dating. Some men and women are more visual, some are more into having a good emotional connection, some are in it for the financial or emotional security, etc.

I definitely think it's mostly women that are into house decor and such, as you can definitely tell a difference when you walk into an average man's house vs. an average woman's house. The woman's usually has knickknacks everywhere and the man's is usually just functional with maybe a few pictures hanging on the wall, but usually little to no knickknacks. I've actually had quite interesting discussions with men about this where many of them share similar sentiments of "Why do women feel the need to put a decor item on every surface?" or "Why do women need 10 pillows on the bed?" LOL!

I think as far as personal appearance goes, there is a certain type of person who highly prioritizes their appearance and spends a lot of time and money on it (both men and women), those who are much more laid back and do the bare minimum to be presentable, and then those who are in between. Typically, women do more in terms of makeup/hair dye/nails/etc., however.

[Flower7]

I'm so glad to hear that I'm not the only one who's noticed this! Yes, men enjoy looking at attractive women. But they don't seem to care how anything else looks. And women enjoy attractive men, along with liking everything in life to look nice in general. So I don't get why there's so much emphasis on men being "visual".

[aWes0MeNeSs]

I wonder if when people say men are visual, they mean they're visual when selecting partners. I agree that they typically aren't when it comes to anything else.

[Flower7]

Possibly... if so, that sounds extremely shallow! I think you're right though.

[aWes0MeNeSs]

I agree. The good news is that not all of them are this way, though!

[Birdlegs]

The idea that men are visual creatures comes from the thought that far fewer men require some form of connection to be attracted to a woman. It’s kinda like “shes hot id date her” whereas more women will go “he’s hot I hope he’s not a dick”. Also the over weight man you mentioned are a sub class who are hypocritical and can’t get women. Also also you’re right about the house thing we don’t care about decorations nearly as much as y’all do except car guys they’ll decorate the mess out of their cars😂

[aWes0MeNeSs]

@Birdlegs I agree!

[karaspara]

Clothes wise I think men have far less options than us in regards of other stuff I think they are just into other things we decorate our homes and get flowers/candles and cushions etc guy's prefer Cars/motorbikes and gadgets just an observation not a fact lol

[igaveyouanickname]

TL;DR: In the grand scheme of things, male beauty doesn't matter because it doesn't serve a purpose outside of marketing male cosmetic products.

I know a guy from where I lived last who is insanely rich but prefers to dress like a homeless slob as camouflage and out of laziness. He's also obese. Still gets laid.

Lol. I must be a woman then. ;) I have bonsai, a water fountain, a light wall sculpture, DJ lights, tons of band and erotic art posters, original oil works, Soviet memorabilia, mirrors, antiques, living plants, fake trees, fake ivy, and a conversation kitsch pieces area. I hired an interior decorator to help me arrange furniture and decor.

Every day 1 to 5 women compliment me on my clothes. I hear I look like a 30-something fuckboy artist-musician. I'm currently wearing a carved Hawaiian fish hook and a beaded necklace. No tats yet because I'd need to consider the design carefully. As time goes on, women are getting more and more interested in me. For my own self-respect: I'm aiming to lose 20 lbs of dadbod, get a dental alignment tray system, and redouble weightlifting, toning, and cardio targets.

[Flower7]

I’m glad to hear that you take care of yourself and put effort into your appearance!

[igaveyouanickname]

Someone has to take care of my appearance. ;-)

I think it's a self-respect thing that also signals a respect for others. Like why does anyone wear a tuxedo or nice business clothes? Respecting others.

There are a number of women who spend a lot of time on their appearance and don't feel the routine time/effort investment is appreciated when a man rolls in in a wrinkled shirt and sweatpants and doesn't say how gorgeous she looks today.

Also, I don't have a live-in girlfriend right now to police my attire or throw out all my fun hot girls in handcuffs flipping off the camera shirts. The Robert Graham buttoned shirts worn loose offset the shock factor with a bit of style. And I spend way too much time and money shopping on international ecommerce sites for cool skater and harajuku pants.

[Flower7]

Fashion is a great hobby to have. It’s nice that you find enjoyment in that!

[FilmGuy93]

Because we are trying to attract women, who have inexplicably let men get away with being dusty as all hell.

[Flower7]

I definitely agree that there should be a change in that area! It’s hard to find a guy that I’m attracted to because most of them look really sloppy. It’s too bad that a lot of women seem to be okay with that.

[FilmGuy93]

Yeah, I honestly don't get it. Like how hard is it to not smell actively bad? How hard is it to moisturize? And as a side note, how is it that men allow that stuff from each other? If one of my friends smells like shit, I'm going to tell him that.

I get it when you're a teenager, like everybody lets things slack when they don't know any better. But we're talking about 30 and 40 year old dudes with bad hygiene. And the reason that happens is because women put up with it. I can only assume that women put up with it because they figure their alternative choices aren't any better.

[demonics]

Because we don't have to?

This is similar to modern women: "I like educated and financially stable men... therefore I will LEAD with MY education and career when seeking a male partner," not realizing men of means don't care about those things, Tomi Lahren famously finding that out the hard way, even going so far as to insult the cute 19 year old barista who doesn't have a bad attitude and 37 one night stands for a man to have to navigate while dating her.

WE like a woman to LOOK nice, women like a man to DO stuff. Remember the famous quote, "women are human BEINGS, men are human DOINGS." A woman's value lies in who/what she is and mans value must be earned by doing stuff.

[Flower7]

Interesting theories. That’s a good way to think about it.

[Interstate]

Why do people give advice about this and that, yet when they are in the same boat they don't know what to do? It is sort of the same thing. They have the gift of observance, but they look the way they do for so long and they don't see what is wrong with what is in the mirror. And why? PERSPECTIVE!!! Everybody sees things differently. So he looks at himself and thinks, "Hmmm, looking not shabby!". But to everybody else, he looks like something out of a "Wrong Turn" film.

[Flower7]

Lol I love that analogy about looking like a horror movie. And yes, there are so, so many people that really need to take a good look in the mirror before judging others. Both literally and figuratively.

[Interstate]

👍 😁

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I do agree with you @Flower7, years ago I use to wear pants, shirts and dress nice every day nowadays I hate pants, jeans, so I wear shorts and t-shirts all around the year and
now I am no jeans guy but I do wear warm-ups in the Winter months when I go grocery shopping or go to doctors appointments

[Flower7]

Shorts and warm-ups are both so comfortable! I agree with you about not liking jeans. I find that stiff and rough material very uncomfortable so I stopped wearing them years ago. Currently, I don’t even own one single pair of jeans.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

@Flower7 Yeah, my cousin lives to wear jeans and always getting skin irritations

[hahahmm]

Probably because whorish women who sleep around a lot aren't as picky as they pretend to be and women who are worth serious relationships don't really care about the guy's look as much as everything else he can provide her. Looks are just icing on the cake from a woman's POV apparently.

Men are not ever going to take a woman seriously if she looks like godzilla. Even if he's into personality and other deep stuff.

[Bjornasey]

So, the thing is men tend to be more rational of the two sexes, women tend to be more emotional.
This inevitably means men will seek actual beauty, i. e appearance that is not altered, whereas women will like beauty of deceit or rather altered appearances.
The rational being will think, the mask has to come off when we're naked anyway.
The emotional being will think, I can slowly take off the mask and snare him and he will eventually accept it!

[BeenThereLovedIt]

Men who put too much effort into their looks or decorative expressions are ridiculed by other men. It's toxic yes, but it's the world we live in, not the world we want.

[Flower7]

I love that last sentence! So true…

[Charliefretz329]

Visual as in sexual attraction. As in needing to see the female form to be turned on. Nothing to do with decorating or dressing up. And we men often decorate our man caves with pictures of scantily clad or nude women. Oftentimes in conjunction with Beer/Cars/Guns/Tools etc... other things we find visually attractive.

[weeee]

I find the "visual creature" thing bullshit. Both women and men care about appearance when it comes to sexual attraction.

[Flower7]

I agree completely!

[weeee]

Yeah, i think stereotyping causes a lot of misunderstandings between people. There are plenty of women who dont go crazy over makeup and men who like to put genuine effort into their appearances.

[IAMNathanael]

I think I do have an eye for aesthetics... a certain kind of them...

[exitseven]

I hate wearing a suit but all my clothes are clean and presentable, with no holes or rips.

[Flower7]

That's good that you keep yourself neat.

[exitseven]

I have a wife that keep me neat.

[sarahlumpkin]

This is not always the case. My boyfriend wore a full suit to school his senior year.

[Flower7]

Nice! Suits are sexy. I wish men wore them more often.

[Bricealan]

They are, but you should see my place, and my wardrobe. Yes, women have it all over men in that regard.

[LaFerrari]

I wear sweatpants and sweaters every day and have been for the past 10 years, by no means am I a “visual creature” nor do I care what other people look like or wear. You be you (:

[Hulk30]

ya gotta understand that human nature is narcisstic female nature although not bad or wrong which is the way it's supposed to be and God designed it to be which men gotta understand is more narcissistic than male nature that's why

[anylolone]

"He just knows he's that hot" [derision smirk]

Also, men and women are visual creatures, men are more primed to the practical and stoic.

[rcljr]

We don’t generally look at ourselves in a mirror. Men’s mirror time is negligible compared to women. We don’t scope ourselves out or other men, our “ Visual” is looking at women.

[AdithyaR]

I don't think I'm a visual person.
Furthermore I don't see any reason to focus on my appearance.

[Oppyy]

Men are visual means they like the physical appearance of a woman

[Flower7]

I understand that, but that's only one small area of life. Women seem to care more about appearance of all things in life, not just in the opposite sex.

[Oppyy]

Since old times, a man's value depends on his fortune or his power or money not his appearance. A woman's value depends on her beauty . Men never had a reason to beautify themselves or their surroundings

[Flower7]

To you personally, do you feel like a guy's appearance is important as far as whether or not you're attracted to him?

[Oppyy]

Yeah. Obviously

[worldscolide]

Because men are visual creatures for the opposite sex, not them selves. They are not the same..

[Flower7]

That's specific to one small area of life. It seems like it's a bit much for them to have earned the title of being visual creatures, just because they like how women look but don't care how anything else looks.

[worldscolide]

It's not wrong though. I don't really care about my appearance much. I care about how my home looks, how my car looks, because I like things nice and tidy, but when it comes to how I dress, unless I'm going out, I just do not care. I have a work "uniform" which is not a uniform, it's more just a standard set of outfits I wear for work, and then I have my non work stuff. All of it very plain because i feel most comfortable like that.

The difference here, men prefer things that are utilitarian and functional, and comfortable.

[Rawkman]

I actually do put effort into how I dress but it doesn't usually get much of a reaction so it's more for myself I guess lol

[NathanDavis]

compared to women? I really do not want to own 60 pair of shoes, like my ex did

[hahahmm]

Yeah.. I suspect shoe makers intentionally make women's shoes flimsy too because they seem to wear out quick and can't even be repaired by a shoe shop these days. A man's shoe can last him 10 years easy. ha ha.

[NathanDavis]

@hahahmm well... a lot of things today, are built to be useless within few months, max a year... lol

especially, electronics

[ChubbyKing]

Because when people say men are visual they're talking about sexual attraction ya goof

[Flower7]

I know that, but that's such a small area of life. They only seem to be visual about that one thing and nothing else.

[ChubbyKing]

Well we didn't label ourselves that way so...

[AllThatSweetJazz]

Obviously because they’re not the ones they’re looking at.

[Ironic_Method]

Because we are attracting women, not men for the most part.

[Marhaban-1]

Some men do but they get persured not to because people associate it with been gay

[Tstrbrainer]

Because there's a difference in how males and females think.

Also we are not valuated on how we look

[krin_m]

Well, I enjoy looking at beautiful women, I don't care how I look :-) I make sure that I'm presentable but that's all.

[Nazgol]

Because they're not expected to and they know that. Only women are supposed to be

[Yyyyu]

I also think that women are visual creatures

[Shy_Steve]

Because they don't look at themselves that much.

[blondfrog]

We are too lazy XD.

[Flower7]

I just don't get why they've gained this reputation for being visual.

[blondfrog]

In terms of finding the female body attractive. We are all visual in different ways. Think of it like this you could say women are visual when it comes to jewelry. Also often times are standards we set for ourselves don't match features we have. Case in point men want their women to be beautiful even if he is ugly. Women on average want a tall man even though she herself is short.