Why do some guys lose interest in girls when they start showing heavy interest?

Question

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

First of all, men do not "like the chase" as some here are suggesting. That is an old myth that is generally perpetuated by women. Are there some men who do enjoy the chase? Sure, a tiny handful, but the vast majority of guys hate it.

That said, there are a lot of reasons why a guy might back off when a girl starts getting really attached. He might know she is more serious about him than he is about her, and he doesn't want to hurt her or lead her on.

He might only be interested in sex and/or casual fun but not a serious relationship.

Also, in general, guys have always been reluctant to commit, especially when younger. It's a combination of wanting to keep their options open and being scared of the implications of a serious emotional connection. Guys tend to mature emotionally more slowly than girls, so this is a bigger deal for guys when they are younger.

Finally, marriage and serious commitment today is a very different thing than it used to be. In the past there were more benefits and fewer risks/costs for men than there are now, and many/most men are questioning whether it's worth it. That's the biggest reason marriages rates are at record lows and continue to drop. I suspect marriage will be a thing of the past within another generation if things don't change, and I'm doubtful they will.

insignificant_person · Accepted Answer

It's possible. But I think that it's because these guys are not those ones who want to make relationship with that girl. These guys want only to show that they can get any girl into bed. So they are trying it with girls that are unavailable and after they will get her in bed and she will start have feelings for him they will start searching another girl.
But that doesn't mean that every guy does this. If I would on his place and she would starting showing interest in me, then I would be happy.

NicoletteXO · Accepted Answer

Because it reveals whether his 'interest' was actually always superficial. He wants the benefits of being with a woman, but none of the responsibilities. Ultimately, it means he is basically immature.

A man who is 'together' doesn't have time to waste with this kind of BS. If he wants a NSA relationship, he will say that. He won't string people along and pretend to be someone he's not. Because he is a decent human, and also because he's learnt it's not worth the emotional headache if he fucks with people.

Anyone who acts "interested" in a relationship or genuine connection, and then becomes disinterested when you show interest was never interested in you at all.

cloudspy · Accepted Answer

I don't claim to know, but imagine if someone was all over you all the time, you'd get sick of them. It can come off as desperate and you'd instinctively want to pull back away from them. I feel like mostly people want what they can't have or what is in scarce supply, and men like a chase. I agree with playing hard to get and not making yourself too available.

Pasiton5 · Answer

Just goes to show when you play hard to get well some dudes get tired if chasing you and it's right around the time you decide to say ok you got me, most young guys really aren't ready to settle down they say they are but are constantly on lookout to get as many women as they can, their intentions are good but they are always looking

ohshee · Answer

You know I found myself doing that a couple times and I always wondered why. You sound stupid. But I think that something to do with I wanted to go into an easy and on my terms I know that sounds weird but it was either that or I was able to feel how deep is a girl really liked me and I didn't know if I was ready for that heavy of a relationship and I think it scared me

Xoxocutekitty · Answer

Because they are looking for a girl, but when presented with the certainty they could have this one, they are no longer interested.

Some people like the chase, but most just want to satisfy their ego for 'the best they can get.' Women have it too but get called hypergamous where as men say they are picky. It's all the same thing. People want the best and if they genuinely think they can do better, will always keep looking.

ArrowheadSW · Answer

It seems to me that most relationships starting out go through a "pull back" period. Just my observation and I don't know for a fact how common this really is. Sometimes I think it is like, "Let's take this a little slower".

Other times, it might be a lack of wanting to commit to the new relationship.

livin_hi_808 · Answer

Same reason a lot of females do the same thing. People enjoy in general just prefer the chase. PERIOD.
Think about it this way. If your friend bought a TV and two other friends buy the same exact one then you wouldn't want or need to show it off to them because there's nothing they haven't seen. The same concept goes for romantic relationships. Need someone to excite and entice you and make your friends want more than you

Jake99999 · Answer

Take it at face value. Maybe he is just not that interested in you. It happens all the time. Unrequited love. Part of life.

Or maybe he is just not coming to the same conclusion that you are, at the same pace. You have had some realization of your feelings, maybe he hasn’t yet.

Would you prefer he pretend and act like he feels the same when he actually doesn’t or isn’t sure? Sometimes being authentic is painful.

Lionman95 · Answer

Because the interest she´s showing could be too high. The problem could be that he is intimated by too much interest from her. If he interprets her way of showing as controlling or bemothering he tries to distance himself because he feels like his red lines are crossed by her.

kc_4308 · Answer

We all know that women are more emotional then men. A lot of them don’t like showing emotions and feelings so when a woman shows heavy interest they back off and or play hot and cold games. Instead of telling the women they like them and not ready for commitment or a serious relationship. It can save that woman a whole lot of time.

kitty71 · Answer

I was in that same position myself with a guy taht I thought I had a potential to date more in the future but sadly he died last year at 47. My story is wayyyyy too long to explain here my experience. But he kinda of lost interest even if he knew and was aware I was into him and for some time he even was also into me, but for soem reason even if he was into me in parts, we never end up really together as a couple or dating seriously. Like I said my storyy is tooo long to explain my experience.

hahahmm · Answer

A. Because he has a girlfriend/wife and he's not a cheater but he was into light flirting. In other words he's clueless.
B. He comes from a place where the only women who do that to a stranger are hookers or other desperate women.
C. She said something that turned him off.

Hairylegs222 · Answer

Total opposite for me. The more persistent she is getting to know me the more it shows how interested she is. I love it when she's super interested in me :)

To answer the question, it could be things about the woman the guy doesn't like. The guy should step up and say he isn't interested and will move on. That's what I do so she isn't wondering why I'm not not being persistent back anymore.

hashimato · Answer

When you exaggerates about him , he will. Tell himself that oh. I'm best and she is not enough for me and then he will break Up with you to catching another girls attractions. Don't exaggerates about guys and guys don't exaggerates about your girlfriend

Blueeyes81 · Answer

Could be she came on too strong.
Could be he saw a side of her he didn't like.
Could be he was looking for casual sex and your interest in more pushed him away.
Could be he has relationship issues.
Could be aliens. 👽 Could be any number of things.

JoVee · Answer

Probably because they weren't sure or even know what they want to begin with. For anyone who loses interest fast after gaining attention its either a game to see if they can get your attention and hold it until they feel ready to let it go or they just like the attention you give them with no commitment. Something like that.

crazy8000 · Answer

Insecure relationship frame/blueprint.
Can be any of the insecure groups with just that you have given.

It can also be that he wasn't into you that way or you didn't have what was needed, even that you had some things that did show that was a deal breaker.

m33lad · Answer

Because of she’s extremely annoying.
She smells
Has poor hygiene’s
Has something on her body the guy finds absolutely disgusting or a turn off
Sticky p**ssies
Or very nasty p***sy. Some guys guys don’t get but when you start going for higher quality type of guys they care a lot about those things.

Men don’t wanna tell you. As they don’t wanna hurt your feelings. So we’d just rather ignore you after sex.

Anonymous · Answer

It depends on when the heavy interest starts. If its right away and the guy hardly knows her it just tells him that she's easy and would do anything to be in a relationship. But if its a natural progression and your both falling madly in love than its great.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

He sees a new side of her that he doesn't find as appealing. I don't think women realize how different they get in romantic relationships. There's something about love getting involved that makes people kick the crazy up 10 notches.

Majeston · Answer

The interest wasn't serious. They don't want the girl to get the wrong idea. Which is honestly the right thing to do.

DWornock · Answer

Because new pussy (girls you haven't fucked) is better than old pussy. After he fucks her a few times he is ready to move on to some new pussy. However, if he meets wife material, he doesn't lose interest.

joshctlee · Answer

Honestly if it were me, it would be because I just want sex from her and not a serious relationship. If fact I’ve done this to a couple woman

tropicalbreeze · Answer

It can feel as overwhelming as when a guy leers or stares at a crush for far too long. Or texting eagerly or wanting a date straight away. All rush and no foreplay so to speak. No offence. All I can say.

Vikkrram · Answer

Nope who said that... we guys don't show interest and what do you mean by start to show heavy intrests? Like what kinda signs u specifically talking about...

Glenn603 · Answer

It would have the opposite effect on me. If a girl showed me heavy interest it would make me want her more

burlen · Answer

They probably realised she wasn’t the girl they thought she was. They probably had their mind on another girl.

Anonymous · Answer

Apparently these guys have unresolved issues or they only want sex. They can't be helped until they want to be helped.
it's nothing. Consider it part of the screening process when dating. They didn't qualify. Maybe the next one will 😉

Browneye57 · Answer

He doesn't want to be owned, possessed, committed yet. It's similar to a new date where she doesn't want him to pay because she then feels obligated for sex.

AngelMegumin · Answer

Because it's interesting to conquer women for men, rather than care and build actual relationships.

readyplayer001 · Answer

Some get scared because ohhhhh it becomes all to real for them

pieceoftoast · Answer

As humans, we tend to want what we can’t have. Then, when we have it, we take it for granted.

Anonymous · Answer

Because some guys are all about the chase. Once they conquer her, meaning she's really interested, the chase is over and so is the thrill. You've heard the expression "some guys like the sizzle more than the steak" ?

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Because he wasn't interested in you for a relationship. He only wanted sex.

dray995 · Answer

Either they’re cowards or they aren’t interested in her to begin with.

Flower7 · Answer

I agree that this is a very common thing that happens.

Ninani · Answer

If one part shows extreme interest before the other part feels the same, they naturally back out.

EmbraceThePain · Answer

I don’t, but perhaps why some guys do is that it may feel creepy, overwhelming, etc.

DarkWinterNights · Answer

Could be a variety of things. Personally when I start to feel smothered I instinctually distance myself.

Jonny59 · Answer

I AM actually the opposite of what you said  I showed 3 TIMES huge interest and girls were pushing the shit outta me  and im now scared to even start dating because of the time

red324 · Answer

Girls do the same thing. I'll send a text that says I'm thinking about you and that scares them away... I think it's best just not to compliment them at all.

Anonymous · Answer

They don't want commitment. They want to hit it and quit it.

just_a_potato · Answer

Because everyone these days have commitment issues, it gets too real

Dude_777 · Answer

Humans have tendency to under-estimate anything given too easily or free of cost.

fred_durst · Answer

that is common , general speaking , men usually showing his highest level of interest on earliest part , then it started to fade away slowly as time goes on

Hanmakev · Answer

Because women play so koi in the beginning we think your not interested in a serious relationship most guys are like open books in the beginning most women never get past the first page

yeahguy2 · Answer

Most of the guys that do that are there for only one thing. Then its like you fucked yourself on that one, falling for their smooth talking.

WiseEnough · Answer

That's a bit relative. It depends on what he wants.

genericname85 · Answer

I think the heavy interest they show is not the reason they lose interest.

Pj1981 · Answer

They get scared. What if he actually ended up liking you too much and you leave?

PrinceNeo · Answer

It depends on 2 things 1 how long did it take to acquire your interest and 2 Are you giving way too much of it

Anonymous · Answer

Because you get what you are. You play games. He play games. Dating is so dumb. Just everyone playing games.

Raperonzolo_Viv · Answer

I believe they feel 'I won'. Some of them thinks chasing and winning and the next. not pure love

Kellanved · Answer

Because usually girl isn't interesting enough or her behavior shows that she isn't worth effort

EaterPeter · Answer

They just realize that they are about to be tamed forever.

Aiko_E_Lara · Answer

Same reason why some girls lose interest in guys when he starts showing heavy interest.

he-takes-a-part · Answer

They never liked girls they liked torture. Pity that both didn’t knew what they are going through

Dinosaursandanime65 · Answer

They probably just suck, like morning sickness. “I’d much rather have morning wood, heh heh” -Beavis

ThatNoUVAtYourEyes · Answer

Gooood question. For a girl I like, it would certainly not be the case. Not unless her interest was in my wallet or future earnings

OddBeMe · Answer

Not a good match. Subconscious reasons are what drives our dating. So the less you quibble and move on the better.

Anonymous · Answer

Not really personally I just like to take things slow. Heavy attention disturb me and make me feel little nervous I wouldn't mind it but I would take a step back. I like balanced relationship also generally I'm humble person that's all

Youdumbeotch · Answer

He learned more about her and decided that he’s no longer interested.

Why do some guys lose interest in girls when they start showing heavy interest?

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