Why are men so oblivious and unempathetic to what women experience that they refuse to listen to us and even get mad when we talk about it?

It’s really sad
We can experience many bad things in relationships, during sex, and at work. Guys have asked me out at work which isn’t really bad just kinda dumb but as far as sex and relationships I was in an abusive relationship with a man for 3 years (my first relationship) and sexually harassed by strangers several times and raped by a stranger once.

Im pretty traumatized and I can’t date guys or have boyfriends without being a little scared. It really helps though when a guy I’m with wants sex and says “it’s ok if you don’t want to” after he sees I’m not enthusiastic because my first boyfriend was never ok with me saying no he’d either get mad and bug me until I gave in or just get on top of me anyway and I’m kinda scared to tell a man no now. Being violated like that by someone you love is an awful experience that leaves you confused about how things should be.

But what bothers me is how so often when I talk about this on the internet guys will mock me and say I’m stupid and blame me. One time when I was in the hospital trying to get help I told a male nurse about my boyfriend calling me names and hitting me he said I should think about the things I do that causes him to be like that.

Then guys say that they got it so much worse and talk about dumb shit like “consent contracts” (which wouldn’t even hold up in a court because she could revoke consent at any time but he didn’t stop, duh) because they’re scared of the idea of being falsely accused of rape and pretend that men are falsely accused of rape just as much as women are actually raped.

To top it off men tend to hate or have a grudge against the opposite sex more than women do. Make it make sense.
Why are men so oblivious and unempathetic to what women experience that they refuse to listen to us and even get mad when we talk about it?
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