In your opinion, why don't men listen to us women when we talk?

Question

Angelo75 · Accepted Answer

Women will tend to talk a lot.

Many times when a man talk among each other it's very obvious what the expectancy is. We can "read" each other a bit easier than with women.
So the response is usually:
A. To solve a problem
B. To take a specific action
C. Just to just laugh
D. To just support each other (through something sad or so)

And a lot of time when we just go up and randomly start talking to each other it's because of option "A". We're stuck with a problem and need help.

With women, well, there is a lot of blur between those lines.
Also the default is not "A" for women, so they get pissed when a man tries to "solve" a problem while the woman just needed a listening ear.

Combine the whole headache mentioned above with the fact that a woman will tend to talk more often than a man, well, you end up with a situation where the man will tend to ignore what she's saying.

There's also a problem with us men. It's a bit embarassing. But when our... ehh... let's call it... "our hormones" kick in, a lot of the brainpower goes to our reproductive organs.
Making it sometimes LITERALLY difficult to think when our mind is "distracted by hormones". :-(

EnglishArtsteacher · Accepted Answer

While there are physiological reasons why men tend to be worse listeners than women, I think it mainly boils down to the fact that most men underestimate womens' intelligence on most things, as well as their ability to so things, etc.

Basically, most men (especially in their 20s) are egotistic, and have a mindset that they have to be right, and they have to be in control (while their girlfriends still cook, clean, etc., like good little submissive housewives).

It's not right, but that's the way it works in our society, thanks to the patriachy, and ingrained misogny.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Men are hardwired different. When I vent my frustrations to my lady friends they know that I’m doing just that, venting. When I vent to my gentleman friends, they go into “fix it” mode rather than listening mode. Sometimes you just got to say to a guy, “I’m not looking for a solution, I just need to talk,” and then thank him for his time and attention. Don’t forget that last part—thanking him. Show a man your gratitude and he will be more inclined to repeat the good behavior next time.

midnightmoon05 · Accepted Answer

Men and women communicate differently.
I am more of a logical thinker and more of a listener.

I don’t like to talk…if I have something to say…it’s important and I get my partners attention, we sit down, look at each other…so that we communicate and listen to each other.

I work with 99% women…I can’t sit to listen to 1/2 of what they say… mostly complains and dramas. Or mostly just small talk about nothingness…like oh… I like your blab blab blab… I just find these annoying.

AviatorTom · Answer

We men DO listen to you women when you talk. The problem is that you almost always tell a long involved story with lots of details, and by the time you finish it, we've lost interest and don't remember what you started talking about. So, you blame us for not listening.

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Answer

My brother says because I tell short 5 minutes story for 30 minutes.

WindAtMyBack · Answer

If we are not listening to what someone says, it's because we don't care about whatever they are talking about. Men and women both do this. Men and women don't always have the same interests, or things they think are important. From a man's point of view, a lot of women talk about a lot of things we consider to be trivial.

Men tend to be more individualistic than women. Women are more likely to listen to others, even if they are not interested. Men are less likely to do the same because they feel less need to communicate everything.

love_conquers_lust · Answer

I know that’s a broad, sweeping, and blanket statement of stereotype. I’ve seen it go both ways. Generally, I’ll be courteous and try to focus/engage with what someone is saying.

There is no absolute in what to expect. When it does happen, it’s usually because of disinterest or more interest in things outside the conversation. In recent years, I’ve had an occasional problem with having people repeat things because my mind will wander. It’s more because I’m out of practice with focus oriented tasks. Focus is a habit. Going between introverted and extroverted, it’s a whole ‘nother conversation.

I think this is why so many creatives have a tough time finding work. You hear starving artist all the time, you don’t hear starving banker or engineer. My existence is pretty tortured.

genericname85 · Answer

generally we do listen. but when i catch myself not listening to a girl (which obviously is not allways), it is because she fails to focus on the key parts of what she's talking about. she's blathering a bunch of irelevant sugarcoating and tangents and wastes my time with shit i don't care about instead of getting to the point, so i zone out.

it's like there's a filter going on in my head. that filter constantly has to work to sift out irrelevant tangents or extra information from the meat of the story. and the more irrelevant shit you add, the more work it gets for me and the more likely i tire out and just give up on listening.

devilish-cutie · Answer

they dont think its important... to the point how important it is to us

they also accept the situation while we want progress and are not satisfied so we try to change things, them as well... and for them things are usually working fine so no need to change anything, for a lot of men women do everything like mothers so they have no issues with you...

IslaTheWitch · Answer

We are different.

Different things are important for us. So it's hard to focus on listening when the other person says something that doesn't matter at this moment :D

But in general, we are not taught to listen. We are taught we have to speak fast and loud (at school mainly, sometimes also at home) to be able to present our opinion and to be heard.

Not so many people can recover listening mode after such training.

Anonymous · Answer

Honestly, because y'all talk a lot about nothing. You talk about yourselves, your day, what you like, how you were. Men only really listen because they wants pussy and that’s one of the way for a woman to feel comfortable and heard. But you ramble on about issues, but don’t want solutions to your issues. You just want to “vent.” As a man, I don’t have time for that shit. I’m presented with an issue, I’m programmed to solve it. Not talk about it 10 different ways and still have the same issues as before.

And it’s always about you, it’s never about how the man feel or how you can better improve his vision for life or anything about him. So again another reason it’s just so we can get a little action and go about our day.

NathanDavis · Answer

I do. in fact... I've been listening to your posts and I do comment many times, but you never respond... you're the one not "listening" lol... and this has been happening for years...

DreamLife7 · Answer

Because a lot of women are stupid. For example such as real life and post here, " he told me I was ugly then asked me to leave him alone. Why don't I hear from you anymore? Should I contact him on Facebook messenger? "

It's embarrassing

sage2021 · Answer

You see, when I talk to anyone I get straight to the point. If he jumps up to fix it, I tell him it's not something he can fix. So just listen please.

I don't take people all around the world with my words. Get to the point ladies!!

exitseven · Answer

they are easily distracted WHAAAAT?

ProbablyClueless · Answer

Many women tell stories in a super roundabout and confusing way. So the guy is genuinely trying to listen and is paying attention, but there's just too much random seemingly unrelated information that we have to sift through.

andreasderjuengere · Answer

ermmm... what? :D ... More seriously: we do listen. But we not always see a need to respond or to reply.

RyanEC · Answer

Sorry to hear some men are like this. I always try to listen when people talk to me. Personally I think you are an interesting person and I enjoy talking to interesting people.

The-Stud · Answer

Possible reasons : 1) Narcissist  2) Bad listener 3) Not interested at the particular topic 4) Worried about something else in mind at the moment

Jennz6 · Answer

They are not interested in what we are saying.

Dinklex3 · Answer

? They do. I think they sometimes just don’t understand, lol.

DJB72 · Answer

You hear one complaint, you've heard them all... 😜

Unit1 · Answer

Like what? I mean seriously like what are the women saying, that men can't seem to hear? Is it about sand grains or something?

sirderpsalot123 · Answer

I listen when they get to the point and don't drown me in unnecessary details.

Anonymous · Answer

I like talking to you, but you never reply most of the time.

Yannae · Answer

Because we are different but expect the other party to be the same.

jahaims · Answer

I listen just fine. If someone isn't listening to you, you aren't interesting to them.

HouseMoat · Answer

We do, we're just choosing what we want to hear, right, republicucks?

serenalovesramen · Answer

They do lol, but a bunch of women yap a lot so I think that’s why

Anonymous · Answer

If someone isn't listening, you may not be being direct. Or the person you're talking to Is afraid of conflict.

Fireguy17 · Answer

I'm sorry, did you say something?

Jackblue · Answer

I am sorry, please repeat that.

Anonymous · Answer

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In your opinion, why don't men listen to us women when we talk?

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Why are men so oblivious and unempathetic to what women experience that they refuse to listen to us and even get mad when we talk about it?

In your opinion, why don't men listen to us women when we talk?

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Why are men so oblivious and unempathetic to what women experience that they refuse to listen to us and even get mad when we talk about it?

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