My past fuckbuddy cancelled on me last minute. What do you think was the actual reason?

[nocturnalbaby]

So a few months ago, my former fuckbuddy (that lives in another state & who I got feelings for) basically begged me to come to his city, telling me that his birthday was on that upcoming weekend & that he wanted to see me for his birthday. He said he would book me a hotel room & everything. He had previously reserved me a hotel room when I was planning to go to his city with a friend of mine earlier this year, & he sent me the reservation number & everything, so I trusted that he was serious about the hotel part at least.

This time though, he didn’t send me any details of the reservation & I don’t know why I didn’t ask him about it. But on the morning of the day I was supposed to come, he told me not to come because he was ‘sick’ & ‘got tested for covid & couldn’t come out until he got his results’ which I believed at first. He also told me that I could still come to the hotel alone if I wanted to but that they most likely wouldn’t let me check in because the reservation was under his name. He told me he’d ask them if they could change the name & he got back to me & claimed they couldn’t. I then just told him I wouldn’t go & he asked if I could come the following week.

Later that night, knowing he was supposed to be sick at home, I asked him some questions I’ve been wanting to ask him for a while, but he kept avoiding them, & I got a bit annoyed at him & then he sent me a short video Snapchat of his legs with some other guys legs in a car. So I then knew he was lying about being sick & not being able to go out. He then bluntly replied ‘I’m busy, I’m with people’ in an attempt to show me he wasn’t just trying to ‘avoid answering my questions’.

When I asked my friends about why they think he cancelled, they all said to me ‘it’s obvious he found another girl’ but I don’t know about that. Like what if the hotel was just never booked & he just wanted to go out with his guy friends instead like I saw in his snap?

[spartan55]

That's the thing about "fuck buddies" "friends with benefits" and the like. There is no such thing as the respect and consideration that normally comes with committed relationships.
As far as that guy? He didn't want to hang out with his buddies instead of you. Your friends gave you the very predictable girl reason that he "found someone else"... which I highly doubt. So why then? Sounds like he was just done with you. Were you perhaps asking too many questions about "where this is headed" or other relationship-y comments or questions. You mentioned you wanted to ask him questions that "had been bothering you" and that is like bug repellant in this case. The whole point of a fuck buddy is to not have to deal with that stuff.

[nocturnalbaby]

Yeah okay but the thing is, even though we were fuck buddies, he would always tell me he had feelings for me & wanted a relationship with me & that he would date me if I lived in his city but because I live far away he doesn’t do distant relationships. I mean yes they were obviously all lies, but he was playing around with me cause he knew I had feelings & he made it a bit complicated by making me think he wanted more.

& no, I wasn’t going to bug him about questions about the relationship or commitment & things like that, he had been adding me on fake accounts & refusing to add me on his real accounts so I wanted him to talk to me about what he’s hiding & I was trying to see if he would tell me if he had a girlfriend or not & things like that. I just wanted him to admit it so I could end it with him but he kept telling me he was single. So no, the questions weren’t about that commitment stuff.

& also, I wanted to ask him those questions AFTER he cancelled on me, like literally 10-11 hours AFTER, so he didn’t cancel because of those questions, I tried to ask him cause he said he was sick so I thought he’d have time to chat. I just wanted to chat with him over the phone in general too because usually I like chatting with my fwb’s.

[spartan55]

Just a theory on my part. He sounds like a shithead... you can do better.

[nocturnalbaby]

Yeah he’s a shithead without a doubt. I’m glad he deleted me after that, however I wish I had deleted him first. Anyway I hope I get over my feelings for him soon cause I definitely can do better

[spartan55]

Don't do fuck buddies and that shit. It never works.

[nocturnalbaby]

Yeah this experience taught me that. He is what made me give up on casual sex & fuck buddies. Now I never want any sex again unless I get a boyfriend

[spartan55]

That's the best way imho.

[Anonymous]

Doesn't matter why. don't put your face in with nudes or anything along those lines. face in normal pictures yes and keep rest faceless. he doesn't need them together to get off to. And it will protect you later on.

[Opinion Owner]

this was meant on your photo question. ended up wrong post

[nocturnalbaby]

Yeah good idea.

[PralineCream]

- found someone else
- would rather hang with his buddies
- was done with you.
-> one of the three or a variation of them

[RiverUndertheSkY]

This is way to attached for a friends with benefits situation