I have a boyfriend but am I developing feelings for this guy?

[Xvxcxx]

I like his personality a lot he's very funny and sweet as well as attractive. I look forward to seeing him every day and I feel we have a lot of sexual tension with each other. We flirt often too. Is this normal or am I starting to develop feelings for him? I notice every little thing he does and every habit he has as well.

I also am starting to get jealous whenever he gets close to other girls and he gets jealous too when I'm speaking privately to my guy friends.

Updates

+1 y

Actually we almost came close to kissing last week, he initiated it but I didn't encourage it so it didn't happen but I admit I wanted to do it and I liked being that close to him

Updates

+1 y

He has a girlfriend too but he's the one who's been initiating everything I don't know what's going on what I'm getting myself into ever since that almost kiss last week. I had been avoiding him after that and he got very upset. He wanted to know why I had been avoiding him but I don't know what to say. He still talks to me and flirts with me every day but I'm very confused about what I should do. He seems even more possessive now and seems totally smitten with me.

[Iknowbestgirls]

@Xvxcxx well since you've caught yourself and stopped yourself. That goes to show that you are still a loyal woman to your boyfriend. But since he has a girlfriend and is initiating everything with you it goes to show that he isn't a faithful man to his girlfriend. If you continue this back and forth with him he will ruin your relationship as he is already ruining his own. You should already see that if he is unfaithful to his current girlfriend he will be unfaithful to you as well. You can't trust a guy like that.

[Xvxcxx]

The strange thing is is that he doesn't seem to care at all how this will affect his relationship. He makes his interest in me totally clear in front of everyone at our work place. He doesn't care what people think. The only reason we haven't actually done something yet is because I haven't allowed him else he would have happily cheated on his girlfriend by now. It's getting difficult for me to resist him too.

[Iknowbestgirls]

@Xvxcxx well think of it like this, if you cheat in your current boyfriend now it it's known that you are a piece of shit cheater, it come back around to you, no guy will treat you right or be faithful to you or respect you in a relationship because they will see you as a cheater. Don't be that girl. remember you will also be hurting your boyfriend and that guys girlfriend. Just because he is charming abd good looking doesn't mean he isn't an asshole. He will happily cheat in you just like he is with his current girlfriend. I suggest you cut him off before you make a big mistake.

[Xvxcxx]

and what if he actually is developing feelings for me? like I said he's not just interested in my looks he loves my personality too and that's what he keeps talking about all the time

[Iknowbestgirls]

I'm sure he is just telling you what you want to hear. He's cheating on his girlfriend with you he is a player that just wants sex. It's easy when he tells you what you want to hear. And if that's the case tell him to leave his girlfriend and you leave your boyfriend is you are Soo sure about this.

[Xvxcxx]

He is not telling me anything. I'm old enough to understand when a guy is interested in you as a person and when he's just after your looks and body. I can tell with him it's that he likes both me as a person and my looks.

[Iknowbestgirls]

@Xvxcxx well if that's the case then you should know that cheating is wrong and that if he is doing it to his current girlfriend he will definitely do it to you and you would deserve it because you would be cheating on your current boyfriend. Instead of being a shitty person and cheating you guys should just break off your current relationships and and get together then. It's wrong to cheat but it's not wrong to leave someone for loving another. Sure someone will get hurt but at least you are being honest with the person your in a current relationship with.

[Dommie33]

I think you might be developing feelings for him but it necessarily doesn't need to be a disaster.
How do you feel about your current partner? Are your feelings the same as before?
The fact that you might develop feelings for someoen else is natural, but the way you handle those feelings is the key. It might be something that will pass by rather quickly, like a crush. If you don't know them too well, you might find out that actually they are not that great.
You should really think what you feel for your partner and what you feel for this other person and you'll find an answer.

[Dommie33]

I think his posessive behavior sounds weird and kinda like a red flag, as you are not even together. The fact he has a girlfriend and still tried to kiss you is also alarming.
The only one having the answer is you, we can't make the decision for you.
Do you love your current partner? Can you imaginr a future with him?
Do you think you could love the other person? Can you imagine a future with him? Or is it only sexual tension? Just attraction?
I would not make anything too quickly, do you even know this other person?

[Xvxcxx]

I can't explain how possessive he seems about me. Even if I whisper something to a guy he gets jealous that I'm so close to that guy. Those guys can be his own friends and still he gets jealous. He flirts with me in front of everyone in the office and he initiated that kiss also in front of everyone. It's like he doesn't care what people think anymore.

[Xvxcxx]

I think I just felt attracted to him initially but now I think I do have feelings for him like I said I get jealous at the thought of him being with other girls. What do you think that means?

[Dommie33]

I think his behavior seems alarming. What is he being so posessive and jealous of? And just think about how it would be, if you two actually were together.
Has your feelings changed, since the almost kiss?

[Dommie33]

Hmmm... This is kinda hard coz I really do think you have serious feelings for him. But they could pass soon or they could be there to stay. Nobody knows.
How do you feel about your current partner?

[Xvxcxx]

Exactly what I don't understand. He seems so possessive and jealous after that almost kiss. Like I said I liked being that close to him and I wanted to do it. I just don't know how to deal with him anymore.

What do you mean by have my feelings changed for him? like in what sense? I think I realized that day for sure that what we share is mutual.

[Xvxcxx]

And when I realized that I got kinda scared like what am I heading into like what will happen between the two of us considering there are others involved too. And what if my feelings only get stronger from now on? We see each other everyday and we're in the same friends circle.

I don't know what is happening with him mentally but like I said I started avoiding him and he has become even more persistent with me.

[Dommie33]

What I mean that is has your feelings changed, since his more posessive behavior started?
Do you think you would want a relationship with him? And what are his intentions? Relationship? Side fling?
And the most important, would you rather be with him than your curent partner?
You dont have to answer this questions to me, just something you can think about to determine what to do next.

[Dommie33]

Your feelings might get stronger or might not. We can't really know. The most extreme scenario our mind tells us is usually not the most realistic. I think you should take your time and think about this very carefully. Dont act too quickly.

[Xvxcxx]

That's what I don't know what his intentions are. I suppose he doesn't know mine either. Like I said it's him who's making it clear in front of everyone he's interested in me I'm always very guarded about my emotions.

I don't know how I would find out about his intentions. I don't want a casual relationship thats for sure.

[Xvxcxx]

I feel on the on hand that this guy is totally ready to cheat on his girlfriend with me and the only reason it hasn't happened is because I'm not encouraging him. Else we would have already gotten intimate by now he loves it when we get close I can tell that.

I know he's showing red flags but still I can't help but have feelings for him and be attracted to him.

[Dommie33]

Yes, and your feelings are not gonna fade away right away ofc.
I think if you want a serious relationship and if you think yoi wnst it with him, you should ask him what are his intentions.
You should also get your current partner on board of the situation, that you feel attracted to another person but nothing has happened yet. You should let your partner know how you feel about him. And you should make the decision if you still wnat to be with him.
This is really complicated snd confusing I know.

[cookiecrusher]

Sounds like you both are on the verge of cheating.

Stop, have a serious conversation about it.

And first break up with your partners before going any further, if you two so wish. Will be a lot cleaner start that will feel so much better when looking back.

[boggboss]

U understand what your doing is emotional cheating right?

[Xvxcxx]

means I do have feelings for him?

[boggboss]

How would u feel if everything u read was typed by your boyfriend

[boggboss]

Clearly u do how would u even need to ask

[boggboss]

So break up with your partner

[Xvxcxx]

I don't know I thought this was normal maybe to find someone attractive while in a relationship

[boggboss]

U don't only find him attractive u have started growing feelings for him and have come close to getting physical with him

[boggboss]

This is beyond what's normal and again close or pretty much cheating if your boyfriend was in this situation how would u feel

[Dommie33]

Omg, boggboss please stop. She is not cheating on anyone. It's natural to feel attraction. Whatever you are in a relationship or not, you can't control it.

[boggboss]

She came close to kissing him and admits she wanted to do it or did u just ignore that part?

[Dommie33]

She is not even close to gettimg physical and even she would be, how do you know she would be cheating? Not every relationship is the same. Feeling sexual tension is natural, not controllable and acting on it is totally different

[Dommie33]

She didn't do it. Thats the fact that you should focus on. Not that if she slmost did it or not.

[boggboss]

Ahahahahahahahah well guess I just got lucky having a partner thats clearly on the same wave lengths as myself lol u think a guy going to kiss u and u wanting to kiss him back is fine whilst continuing to flirt with him is normal 🤣🤣🤣 if that's what u claim is normal I see why so many relationships fail these days

[boggboss]

She only didn't do it because he didn't push forward with it if he had just kissed her she would of happily kissed him back you are truly nieve if u think what she is describing is all above bored she actively lists for him flirts with him and almost had a physical encounter with him that she wanted to happen how is that not emotional cheating sorry?

[Dommie33]

Good for you. We all have different views, different kind of relationships. There is no need to laugh at others'.

[Dommie33]

Well, it depends on what her partner feels not what you feel is cheatimg or not😂

[boggboss]

Which is why I have asked if her partner wrote this how would she feel as she stated she has a boyfriend but is developing feeling for another guy how she describes the situation would lead u to believe she knows somthing is wrong here for somthing to be wrong she knows her partner would have a issue with it

[LZPanzer]

I agree with boggboss. She is in a dangerous situation that encourages her to cheat.
She hasn't yet crossed that line yet, there are no guardrails on the road now.

She needs to make a decision quickly.
End her current relationship and start a new one with this new guy, or commit to the current relationship and cut ties with the new guy

[Dommie33]

I agree that she is on a dangerous path but i dont think she is cheating. She is feeling quilty, which signals she also hss feelings for her current partner. This isn't as black and white as boggboss is describing and the way he blames her, is not right.

[boggboss]

For me its is that simple flirting meh whatever but as soon as u start to say u are growing feelings for the person and u know this yet u continue to do it thats it you are knowingly foing somthing u know your partner would be hurt by cheating is not just the act of sleeping with someone or growing a emotional bond with them its the act of doing somthing u know would hurt your partner yet u still do it she is emotinaly cheating

[LZPanzer]

It is that black and white. i don't see feelings of guilt or remorse, just signs of confusion and indecision. She has not crossed the line in my opino but she's so close to crossing that line that other people may view it differently. Boggboss may deem mental cheating the same as physical cheating where as I draw the line at physical interaction.

[Dommie33]

Omg, stop accusing her of cheating slready. You dont decide that. Period.
She is growing feelings yes, is that hurtful to her partner, maybe. But the fact she is fighting those feelings and doenst want to act on thrm tells me more about her than the attraction she has for someone. She clearly cares for her partner, otherwise she woulf have alresdy done it.

[boggboss]

Which is completely fair enough that's a view I can respect as I know many are like wise for the point at which u are getting as excited to see a friend as u are seeing your partner there is a issue that he tried to kiss her whilst having a girlfriend shows his intentions so how can there be confusion what her entertaining him doing this shows what her intentions are?

[boggboss]

If she was fighting those feelings she would have stopped them before he tried to kiss her the fact was she enjoyed them that u would even claim that its a maybe that he would be hurt is a plain lie unless they are in a more open relationship has she told u that?

[Dommie33]

Flirting can be harmless. The person trying to kiss her while having a girlfriend is a little alarming (depending on what the eprson and their girlfriend has agreed on) but her intentions aren't that clear. I dont think hrr intentions is to cheat and her intention wasn't to feel attracted. She is confused yes, which is normal. She just hsve to think about what she wants with who. Only she has the answer

[Xvxcxx]

He was the one who initiated the kiss not me.

[Dommie33]

Has she told she is not in a open relationship? You can't just assume things. The feeling is not that easy to identify before you realize its too. Late.

[boggboss]

And no point did I say flirting was chsting in itself everything added up together for me is what is the cheating again u may view it differently good for u but thats not somthing I'm going to view differnt so

[boggboss]

Lol maybe in your mind where developing feelings for another person whilst having a partner is normal but as soon as u start doing that in a relationship where u need to be asking this question it is cheating

[boggboss]

And yes he tried to kiss u but the only reason it didn't happen is because u didn't push for it yet u said u wanted it to happen so if he had just gone and kissed u you imply u would have let it happen and enjoyed it

[Xvxcxx]

You are blaming the kiss on me as well like I said he initiated it.

[boggboss]

I'm not blaming him trying to kiss u I'm blaming u wanting the kiss to happen

[LZPanzer]

@boggboss do you you believe the current relationship is beyond salvage?

[Dommie33]

I dont think you are really gonna get anything out of this, I mean, he is giving no advice on anything and only blaming you for what, basically natural automatical human feelings😂 This conversation is going nowhere, just going in circles.

[boggboss]

Honestly hard to say would need to know if she told her partner what she wrote here how would he feel

If its somthing he didn't care about or wanted to forgive her for then fully can be she would need to actually take active steps to stop growing a attachment to this guy

If she felt like she couldn't tell him or he had issue with it then yes I would say its beyond saving

[boggboss]

And if u feel that way block me don't respond I'm fine with that👍🏽

[Xvxcxx]

@LZPanzer He has a girlfriend too but he's continuing to show interest in me.

[LZPanzer]

The relationship status of the new guy is kind of irrelevant. What matters is what your boyfriend considers the line and weather you have crossed that line or not.

[Xvxcxx]

@LZPanzer why is it irrelevant? you said I'm on a dangerous path to cheating isn't he on that same path? actually he's the one initiating everything

[LZPanzer]

When some one cheats, the cheater isn't the one who gets hurt
If you want to cheat with this new guy there is nothing stopping you. The only one you hurt is your boyfriend and the new guys girlfriend.

Do note if he's willing to cheat on his girlfriend he's willing to cheat on you too.

Why do you need to cheat. You can just break up with your current boyfriend then start a relationship with the new guy.
You have little to lose by being upfront and honest and doing things above board. If you get caught well guys definitely warn other guys about cheating women, so you will have that stigma on you.

[boggboss]

👍🏽

[Iknowbestgirls]

@Dommie33 what she is doing is emotional cheating. Cheating doesn't have to be physical. Sure it's normal to be attracted to others in a relationship but not only acting on those urges but reciprocating them to the initiator is cheating. It's not a matter of opinion that's just straight up fact. And the fact that you are approving if what she is doing goes to show that you are not a faithful woman yourself and have more than likely cheated and more than once by the looks of your argument.

[ChiPaPa]

I feel sorry for your boyfriend. If you really loved him, you'd break all contact with this other guy.

[REDHOTLINE]

I always say this..
Love is different thing
Sex is different thing...

[Iron_Man]

That’s not good at all

[Xvxcxx]

means I have feelings for him?

[Iron_Man]

What happens the day that you get married and another guy comes along and you get feelings for him? This is heading into a very bad direction. You have a boyfriend already why would you allow yourself to open up to another man? What about being faithful to the boyfriend? I’m sure you wouldn’t like it done to you

[In_Trance]

You need to make a decision

[Wester1967]

The streets --->>>

[Anonymous]

Make the first move

[Anonymous]

Cheat!