I'm grieving the loss of a potential love. I'm writing this because I still want to believe that she will come back into my life, but I don't think she will.
I think she wanted me to care that she left, but knowing (but she never did tell me) she had a boyfriend, I ducked out and avoided her because I sensed something was off, and because my presence was difficult for her. In all honesty, I couldn't even be in the house when she was leaving, it hurt too much.
She started talking to her boyfriend or friends/family constantly, keeping herself occupied (I guess?). A little over three weeks ago we met, then this week just gone I avoided her and she kind of 'blocked' me. I lost all concentration and felt depressed; I think she started to occupy herself more and kept a lot closer to her boyfriend.
She would do things that could be interpreted as repression, like putting her empty cup on something of mine in the kitchen, covering up a pair of my weighing scales in the kitchen drawer, copying me after I stacked the cardboard toilet roll tubes into a tower, and covering my hand towel with hers. We both started saying/doing/wearing similar things.
I feel distraught. I've met someone so alike and that I instantly connected with, but she's gone. I think what it was, was that she was feeling lonely being so far away from family/boyfriend, and I was lonely too. But it doesn't excuse the fact that we were so alike and were looking for someone like eachother.
What do you think?
I'm doing a good job of forgetting her and moving on, and I'm stopping myself from 'searching' and going places she might be, but it's difficult, because I have to put effort into not being myself/acting naturally.
