I hate my sisters boyfriend, what to do?

[Anonymous]

So about 6 months ago my sister and I moved into a share house (we live abroad together), my sister started having chemistry with one of our housemates and on thing led to another, and they're now in a relationship. after about 2 months he got a new job at a bank and started getting really weird, bragging, thinking he was better than other people and so on. He especially thinks he's better than me. He invited himself to a trip my sister and I were doing together, which was fine, apart from that he interrupted me for 5 whole days. He even asked me questions just to interrupt me. This is still going on but not to the same degree. At other times he's called me a fucking bitch, said that I'm pathetic (I'm a psychology student -> he's a banker), a loser, a slut, writing on Facebook who I've been seeing&having sex with etc. etc. I told him that him doing that upsets me and I don't appreciate it but he still does it.

I've talked about this with my sister, but she gets mad at me for brining it up. So I decided to "kill him with kindness", not react, be nice and try to hang out with him (we are no longer housemates). And yesterday we planned on doing Sunday drinks, him, me and other.. but not my sister. Which I thought was a great opportunity to work on the friendship! I went to the place we decided to meet at 4.30, he wasn't there, I tried calling and he didn't pick up, I waited around. 2,5hours later he texts saying his phone was in his room but that we could meet up then. I later called to meet him, and he ignored my calls and texts again, but he sent a video of him playing beer pong.

If it would've been anyone else I would've told them to fuck off, but my sister loves him and I want to have her in my life but it feels like he's manipulating her and he keeps treating me badly. I'm not sure what to do with everything.

What do you guys think? what should I do?

[EyeSeaYew]

You don't let people walk over you. And that's what he's doing. And a person like that is going to keep walking over you until you stop it. The only way you can get walked upon is if you allow yourself to be. The first time he hurdled an insult your way you should have put him in his place.

Killing him with kindness or trying to discuss your hurt feelings with him will not help anything. The fact that you actually went out of your way to hang out with him is equivalent to writing a big "Push Me Over" sign on your back. You don't hang with someone who acts or treats you like that, bottom line, and you need to make it perfectly clear to your sister that you will not be around someone like him.

I understand that you love your sister but you have to respect and love yourself more than anyone else on this earth. With that in mind, if your sister gets mad then you're just going to have to stick to your guns. Remember, the point is to not be a pushover. Your sister and her boyfriend will be able to tell you're serious if you really do take this seriously and not like some joke. If you end up in a situation where you have to be around him (for example, you get invited to a party and he ends up being there) then remain civil. If he makes you uncomfortable then feel free to leave.

[HeatherJane]

Spend time with your friends, spend time with your sister. Have a relationship with them without having one with him.

[bh6676r942]

Easer said than done

[HeatherJane]

I know I never said it wasn't but if she tries to keep their relationships separate the situation should be easier

[Asker]

I've tried to do that, but he keeps inviting himself and making sure that I get "forgotten". I have a strong feeling he's trying to change other peoples minds. (I was in a relationship with one of his friends last year and my sisters boyfriend is now trashtalking me for no reason). He is basically making me feel unwelcomed and disliked in our friendship group.

[HeatherJane]

Do girls night it may sound stupid but make sure you say girls only ask your sister for sister time and make sure you can say your piece as well. I do understand it's difficult.

[bh6676r942]

Tell your sister every thing you have told us and then tell her it's either me or the ass-hole jerk manipulating boyfriend of hers let her choose her path don't try to interfear with what she does if she wants nothing to do with your advice she's obviously blinded by her willful ignorance of him if you do have to leave her and him just hope and pray that it won't be long before she sees his true colors and then you and her can work things out from there good luck and take this advice and just hope and pray she takes yours

[Asker]

I don't want to lose my sister, she has changed enough over the last few months and I do not know how she will react if I took your advice, but I'm sure she wouldn't take it well.

[Thore]

Leave it alone its not ur life. What if ur sister hated ur girlfriend would u break up with her? No u would just grow to resent ur sister and kill the relationship. My advice is to let it ride. If he really is an awhile have the faith in ur sis to be smart enough to see it.

[Asker]

Yes, if I had a boyfriend who treated my sister and best friend badly I probably would break up with them or at least show that it's unacceptable behavior. I guess I just assumed that her boyfriend would treat me with respect the way normal people treat each other.

[dzj031682195]

you can keep away from him

[Asker]

yeah but we're in the same social group so that would mean that I would spend less time with my friends as well... and I don't want to do that.

[dzj031682195]

you can treat him as the way he treat you