Just need to vent.. What do you guys think ghosted or genuine? thoughts? Pov?

[Anonymous]

Online friends for past 4 months. We confessed we felt some feelings for each other (He did first). He said ball was in my hands, so I suggested we could see what happend by the time he was back in the states in spring'22 & if he still felt the same maybe we could meet but for now to just go with the flow.
Eventually he said he couldn't be just friends because his feelings kept growing.. so we started actively making an effort to talk less.
Fast-forward...
2 months ago I got a new job. As a result I wasn't online much but I'd still text everyday.
In this time I noticed his replies seemed dry. When I brought it up he said something along the lines " i always makes an effort to accommodate to your schedule but you never take that into consideration. The time difference, your new schedule & my own job load during peak szn is a lot & i'm sleepy these days. When I text you in evenings I'm just sleepy but still stay up & text you.". I felt bad so we discussed this & then things seemed fine again !
Fast forward to this past month...
He goes ghost for 5 days.
When he reappeared he said his flu symptoms had gotten worse & he's been really sick & basically apologized for going mia. We had short sweet for few days after that. But He said he's still not feeling great & that he only came online to explain & say hi because he felt bad for leaving me suddenly & missed me, etc. & that he would call me to go in detail about what happend.. the next morning he sent the usual GM text & well he hasn't logged in since then... It's been 2 weeks...
I'm worried for him a lot... but
I do wonder of im being clowned & he's literally just ghosting me & this sickness was all just an excuse.

We only communicate through the app so there's nothing I can do.. I've kept busy ,& don't log on everyday but I'd feel like an asshole if he was going through something truly bad & im here thinking rotten. Anyways I don't know what to think or feel or do..

Updates

+1 y

I just wanted thank y'all for the comments that actually felt thought out &whatnot. I feel better about this & validated. So thanks Bees

[Comesaveme]

I am going through something similar. Ultimately all of the “too busy” excuses are just excuses, meaning no longer interested. Mine is an online situation too so it’s hard to gauge the situation, but, if they really wanted to, they would, like they did in the beginning. It’s not impossible.

[Asker]

It really is difficult & that's why I didn't want to go through all that without actúally meeting first. I guess I wanted confirmation that like he probably did ghost me & I'm right to feel this way.. ... but I also feel a little guilty in all this too because he's called me out before & said I changed my texting habits with him, etc. But it was literally only after he said he agreed we shoukd text less... & ik he was referring to a weekend I stayed out late w friends & had work right after so I didn't text him until the night after &other few instances similar to that where my phones died, etc. But I've always told him I'm going out before hand & its literally happend a handful of times but I've never lied & I've always texted him after & it's never been for more than a day.. getting this new job maybe added a bit of flame to the fire... I don't know tbh its a lot but the facts rn is he's been mia for 2 weeks at a time now & if he really did want to he could've just brought up a conversation & not ghost.

[Adam1978]

This why I don't do long distance relationships, the other end can pull any kind of shit and you can't be wiser about it. There is simply no way to check up on people. Why spend months on a person you can't even meet and validate that they are true to their claimed nature.

[Asker]

So true. This is how I felt tooo & why I rejected to move things forward... but i wish I would've just stopped talking right there & there because the last 2 weeks i realized just how routine he he became a part of my life. I guess I've lived & learned now

[mark000h]

The guy's probably with other women keeping you as a side attraction.

[Asker]

I don't know it really didn't seem like that before but maybe the last month he has.. tbh I've always taken everything he's ever said with a grain of salt & been super cool about everything tbh, cause why stress & I felt we were pretty open about everything & I was always the chiller one. The last call before he even said anything about being sick I remember noticing his laugh sounded phlegmy... & literally days later he told he was feeling sick & then all this.. so thats why I sort of believe him & worrry... & ik if he wanted to he would... but I also feel like he shoudlve just dipped & not mentioned he was feeling sick, etc. Then i wouldn't even be writing this. Its the fact that i belive he might not be well, that's fucking with me.

[mark000h]

You seem caring. Really think you shouldn't worry about him like that. He's grown. I really really despise ghosting. I hope that didn't happen here. It's childish and cruel and something I couldn't do. If you've spent any time with someone, the least you owe them is the courtesy to tell them your feelings have changed. I don't think you should worry for nothing. Be concerned for yourself. Let him make contact or not.

[Asker]

You're so right !!! Thanks I really needed to jwR that

[Sam_The_Savage]

He said I'm sick and came online just to explain you. Lol it's scam. Don't believe in this. Move on honey you're back up plan 😘

[Asker]

Yeha tht was his response... like I kinda tested him & made the convo sexual just to see what he'd reply...
& he just teased me about it & said that he couldn't give in to that rn & that he only came online to say hi to me, catch up & basically lmk what happend... ugh just feel like the biggest clown rn.

[Sam_The_Savage]

Babygirl move on 😘
You don't deserve this drama and headache. 😘

[Jitternation]

“Online friends” lmao. There is no such thing as online friends or relationships. Are you dating your phone? Hope this helps.

[Asker]

Why do you think there's no such thing as online friendships?

[Jitternation]

You don’t really know the person beyond a phone screen. Irl experiences reflect a person more sincerely. Many people hide online behind a persona.

[Frank_theTank999]

If you’re still communicating through the app and not by actual text / phone that’s a little strange. I would bet that he’s been looking and perhaps found another connection or three.

[Asker]

Its a really long story but ultimately he asked for my number & I declined because I didn't trust his intentions I don't know... I felt like he was playing me & just sweet talking me so I didn't want to take things too seriously , get invested & then get hurt. So we agreed that once he was closer to coming back w an actual chance of meeting if we were still talking by then Id seriously consider it. Like he really has tried. I've been the one unsure & trying to not treat this connection too seriously. Even though he's been nothing but straightforward, sweet & caring & encouraging & respectful. If he decided it wasn't worth it, or got tired of my indecisiveness & just left like i said I'd completely understand & I wouldn't be here. But my main thing is everything he told me last we spoke, I just feel worried for his health... it's just nagging at my brain... I miss him tremendously but ik its not fair to ask him to stay... I only ask him to lmk he's okay... that's it.

[Asker]

I just hate ro believe that out of every way he could've vanished he'd choose this way. Ynow

[Frank_theTank999]

Yeah it’s too bad a simple reply could have gone a long way here but I can only read it as he’s moved on…if he cared he would have found a way to respond. Sorry he treated you that way, it’s really shitty.

[Yourfriend2021]

Get his phone number and start talking instead of texting, that's too impersonal.