How do I deal with shame of being a super pushover doormat?

[Anonymous]

I manage to convince myself its not a big deal and not worth doin anything when people in my life are totally disrespectful or abusive. I even apologize to them. Recently this happened and i can't get it out my head. I feel so dirty this time. I can't believe i let someone talk to me that way and even replied to the disrespect by saying sorry after.
Usually i manage to let it go after being internally mad or ruminating on it but this time i cannot shake this gross feeling i have. And its about myself. I must be a real life doormat.

Yes i had narcissist parents. I cut them off a few years ago and continue to get stalked by them. I am much better away from them.

Anyway thanks for any helpful tips.

[Teresa811]

Girl same. My mom was the most narcissistic person I knew, and my dad was a serial cheat. I feel almost broken some days, and I always second guess if what I'm feeling is the "right" thing, which I just associate to being afraid of being punished. All the guys I've dated have been way too controlling which doesn't help things.

What I've learned to do is just disengage with negative people and stop putting myself in a situation where people can take advantage of me. Until I can stand up for myself better, it's the best defense strategy I guess.

[Diidjedif]

Thank you. I have to focus on doing that: disengaging and stop putting myself in a situation, as you said.

[Asker]

You rock

[MrTaboo]

Find a loving Dom to serve.